CM CLUB - OMFG, help me out...........

[LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy]

When I told double pay baby's mum on Monday that I was pregnant and she was pleased blabla she mentioned that she's even more excited about the Christmas present she bought me at the weekend as it will be useful for my own baby. Basically I LOVE her baby change bag and mentioned this once about how great it was etc. and she said on Monday that she got it for me for Christmas and that it's expensive. Well I've just looked it up and it's £60!!! link here. And a latest email (she's been discussing her worries etc about my lack of time off after baby blabla) and she mentioned her husband said they'd like to give me £30 for me and dh to go out for a meal and they will babysit for my Christmas present. She also said 'I hope you accept this offer' and 'it would be nice for you and your dh to go out and have a nice chat and maybe do some baby planning etc'. How on earth do I respond. How on earth do I match that??? We really have little money plus dh just been made redundant and worry about jobs in the new year. I usually spend £5 on each mindee and yes, I did plan on getting them a present as they are so lovely but I just can't afford much, certainly nothing like that WWYD???

Before anyone jumps on me and thinks I was rude to look it up, it was ONLY because she mentioned this other present on top and I started worrying because she'd said it was expensive - I wanted to get an idea so I knew how to respond about the £30 + babysitting offer. They are such lovely people, I wish I had more money to treat them!!! I was thinking of getting something special done from baby but I'm not sure???

Aah, she sounds lovely and you must be too

Are you any good at baking? Make a homemade cake, some choc truffles etc? She won't be expecting you to "match" her present iykwim, so maybe try a different approach and do something with thought/care in it instead?

She obv thinks you take such good care of mindee that she wants to show her gratitude. I think that's lovely, lucky you!

You don't try to match it!

She obviously thinks a lot of you, so let her treat you!

She sounds lovely - but I bet you are lovely to her children too, which means A HELL OF A LOT so don't underestimate the value that WOHM place on having quality childcare.

Say thank you and enjoy yourself! You deserve it!

Looney, she obviously holds you way up there when it comes to looking after her children, go with the flow and accept it, agree with snooks about making something for them

Oh thanks guys - bloody hormones!!!

I'm not too good at baking, all I can do nicely is Dinner Ladies banana loaf (and of course kiddie baking but certainly not grown up baking )

Do you think she'd appreciate me getting something special done where I get something made up from her dd (age 9 months). There's a place locally that does lovely stuff here and here for idea's.

What do you think?

LT xx

LT buy some air dry clay & do the hand print yourself

I did it 3 yrs ago & the parents loved it (actually might do it again, now you have reminded me)

Scratch babies name & date & happy Christmas on the bottom while it is still malleable

You should be able to get the clay quite cheaply & it is a lovely present with a banana loaf to the side

I was going to post a thread about this situation as I am in the same dilemma! Baby mindees mum has told me what they are getting ds, and I know it is about six times as much as I spend on mindees! I too can't match it but feel very guilty that I can't!They are a lovely family all year round though!

IME as a nanny, the parents tend to be very generous at birthdays and Christmas as a way of showing their appreciation for your child care throughout the year. I would spend what I could afford, and had originally planned too, and maybe make a cake too.

Why don't you take a lovely photo of her daughter and get a lovely frame £184 for a lovely frame in ASDA's, and make some nice biscuits.

What a lovely mum

i have a friend like this, in fact i thought for one horrid moment that you were talking about her.

she once turned up with £50 worth of chocolate for me, she never ever comes to see me without bringing me some thig (not cheap either)
i adore this friend and even if she didnt do all this, i would still adore her and love her company.

the flp side to this is as you say, you cant match her thoughtfulness and generosity.

i do some times wonder if she is judging me from what i DONT do for her.
I am not thoughtful in that way and im certainly not that generous.
At first i was embarrased and did try to match her kindness, but was stressed by my patheticness so gave up.
it was just too difficult, took so much effort and cost and time.
i just dont have any of the above in abundance.
she is just a very different person to me.
am nattering on, but wanted you to know that i know what you mean.

Katy - great idea, thanks

Thanks everyone for helping me feel better, I was in a state of shock to start with and although very very grateful as they are so lovely, I just felt AWFUL and wish I could match it. I now realise I don't need to - phew

Great idea about photo and present - should it be of just baby, baby and my ds or baby, my ds and me? She's not the jealous sort iyswim, she very much like me treating her dd like I do my own but not sure which type of photo to do.

DKN - thanks about photo frame, will pop in tomorrow morning when I have no kids (well, shouldn't have any). I do hope there is a dot in the price though!!!

deenymcqueenygoreandguts - it's really hard isn't it - especially because she's told me upfront so I feel awkward for knowing!

loonet i have taken photos of mindees played arounf with them on photo shop, monochromed them, soft focus the edges blown them up and had them printed to a4 by bonus print. £1.20 a print, if you would like me to do some for you email me some photos and i will work on them

Yes theres a . in the price

wish I could type!

Photo is a great idea, I would stick to one of mindee or mindee+your ds though (not you as well), no offence, but prob best to keep it to just children. You're sorted!!

Cheers - don't worry, shosh has been a busy bee and done effects of just mindee shots and what she's done is fab!!!

Only just got back on. Been busy doing Guides run and collecting dd's Xmas pressie.

Anyway, I agree with everyone else, you don't need to match what she's doing for you. The thing is, she is matching what you are already doing for her! She is the one who is trying to repay you for what you do. I saw the pictures that Shosh did of her lot and they are beautiful, I can['t think of anything nicer quite honestly.

Oh and one more thing. Ofsted can take their grading scales and stick them where the sun don't shine! Clearly your parents think you are Outstanding and as I've always said, that's what matters most!

Cheers Mo, she's done a wonderful job One thing I will say for Ofsted, they did give me a good report even though she put things down that were ridiculous! (had 2 outstandings yet ended up in tears at the end - she wasn't a proper human being! ). Oh....did I give you an update on OFSTED???? No further action!!!

It was pleasure doing them LT and i think Mo is right about the grading maybe ofsted should put a grade on what parents think!

looney - here is a fairly cheap and very home-made and personalised presnt idea

1/ take a lump of playdoh & shape
2/ push babies hand into it!
3/ then make up a small ammount of plaster of paris and spoon into the hand print smooth of back and leave to set
4/ peel off playdoh
5/ you now have a perfect little 3d handprint complete with fingerprint patterns and creases - sooo sweet.
6/ i tinted mine slightly with acrylic paint to really hi light details and mounted in a deep ikea frame with name/date

perfect for newborns too

Oh....LOVELY

Agree with the others - don't try to match it. We are planning on getting something nice for DD's CM and her son for Christmas but it's more as a thank you for everything she's done for us.

It's very thoughtful of her to offer to babysit and pay for dinner etc but I do find it a bit odd that she told you that the bag she'd bought you is expensive. Why would you tell someone you'd bought a present for how expensive (or not) it is? Seems a bit odd really.

I'm finishing with all my mindees in a week and a half and have been filling photo pockets for each of them. I've also got some mini photo frames to hang on the tree with their child's pic in it. For my family, I have got some coasters made with my ds' face on them. They cost £5 for 4 coasters and look fab!! I got ds (5) to dress up with antlers and a red nose and took a close up photo of his face. They look so good!! I think anything photo-based will make any Mum/Dad chuffed to bits!!!

I agree with the others that you DON'T need to match their gift. Maybe you could offer them a free babysit? When I was nannying I used to offer to have the children overnight/for a weekend as a xmas gift.