maternity nurse or doula? HELP!

[danielle1973]

i am a first time mother, living in east sussex due january 20th and want to employ a maternity nurse or doula for the first month-6 weeks to get my child into a routine.
i am worried i cannot afford a maternity nurse and wondered whether doulas can also get babies into a routine?

what qualifications should i be asking for (for either?)
and should i bite the bullet and get a maternity nurse? my worry is they seem to cost about 750 a week - is this correct?

I've no idea but I've just forwarded this thread onto a MNetter whose a doula and used to be a childminder. She should be able to point you in the right direction about that side.

£750 per week is a lot of money. Will you have any other help around the home? In fairness, most mothers don't have a doula or maternity nurse, and the babies get there eventually. Perhaps a cleaner or mothers help might be appropriate so you can make sure all the household bits are done, and you get time to spend with the baby.

If you get somebody, make sure that you really like them - it's a difficult enough time anyway, without somebody you don't warm to around the house all the time.

Mat nurse better
Doulas are there to kind of look after your mental welfare (ie taking the load off you) and I could be wrong but I think most would probably feel uncomfortable with the idea of what has to be done to put a tiny new baby into a routine.

The vast majority of new parents settle their baby into a routine (which suits them and their baby) without any help. There is no need to have a maternity nanny (maternity nurses are not qualified nurses, thus shouldn't really use the word nurse).

As a maternity nanny, when I have worked for parents of a newborn - it has typically been when the family has had twins, as with 2 (or more) having an extra pair of hands around is a help.

I recommend: Secrets of the baby whisperer
Author: Tracy Hogg.

This will help you get to know your baby, when he/she is telling you they are hungry, tired, dirty etc. I prefer this to other books, as it is not strict routines, but more flexible.

Why do you feel that you want a maternity nurse at this stage? Are you going to work very quickly following your child's birth, or babies father is not around to help, no close family to help etc.

You could try going it alone, and then if you find that you get really really tired, then you could have a night-off by getting a Night Nanny to cover a night, or two. Would be a lot lower cost, than a full-time maternity nurse.

OCN Maternity Practitioner Award is the main course for maternity nannies as far as I am aware. It is the course I have done.

However, doing a short training course does not mean that someone is any good - so best to get references from other families. All childcare workers should have a CRB check plus First Aid training.

There is no guarantee that anyone can get your baby into a routine by six weeks. A maternity nurse will do everything for your baby only. I think a doula will help out generally, with baby, cooking etc. Think about what would be most helpful to you? I work as a maternity nurse(nanny) part-time, generally I've done nights to help mums get some sleep. You could get a maternity nurse for around £500-£600 for a five instead of a six day week.

Nannynick, I'm not comfortable with the term nurse either but thats what the job title is and has always been. I soppose its similiar to nursery nurse as they are not qualified nurses either.

I would definitely go with someone who has lots of experience and refs.

However, on the flipside to what yogimum says, you might get a qualified but less experienced maternity nurse/nanny/practitioner for cheaper.

Doulas don't do routine.

To be honest (shooting own profession in the foot here) I'd say go it alone for 6-8 weeks and then if you're stuck get someone in for a week or two to troubleshoot.

If it's time off you're after then I second whoever recommended a night nanny.

a doula or a maternity nurse could get the baby into a routine, but very , very few babies get into a routine that quickly, and if they do, it is not permanent.. you are best to get to know your baby and their cues..when they are hungry , tired, windy etc.. of course the support of another pair of hands can be invaluable. many doulas are also expereinced in breastfeeding and can help you get that established. also doulas will often take care of household chores and cooking, look after the mum, so she can be a mum to her baby. why not speak to local doulas and maternity nurses/nannies and see what you think is going to be best for your situation

Just a thought, remember a maternity nurse will be living with you 24 hours, would you be okay having another person around all the time. I also think that the first few weeks is a very personal time for your new family, there is usually a lot of people visiting, bringing gifts, food (hopefully), holding the baby etc, I thought it would be nice for me to have help later on when I felt completely knackered and on my own.

hi girls, thanks so much for the advice. i think i'm going to meet a few nannies/doulas and probably a less experienced maternity nurse (given my budget...) to work out exactly what it is i want. i think that's one of the hardest things, trying to anticipate what i will want/need but having no idea how i will feel when he is born..

nannynick, thanks for the baby whisperer tip - i will order that on amazon now!

this is so helpful being able to ask questions like this - you've all been really kind to bother answering , thank you. dx

oh and nannynick, i just saw your page and realise you are a guy sorry for addressing you as "hi girls" earlier!!

I'm a Maternity Nurse and I work in the East Sussex area

I would be willing to take on a 3/4 day a week post if that would help?
Might make your budget stretch a bit further and to be honest a lot of people don't need/want somebody around all day every day!

I'd spend the money on a night nanny a couple of nights a week instead....a good night's sleep is way more worthwhile imho and with just one baby you shouldn't in theory need a doula or maternity nurse in the day that much.

maternity nurses/nannies will be more likely at setting you into a routine but so will a night nanny.

The cost isn't that different though ie night nannies are about £120 - £140 a night or mat nurses are about £500 - £700 per week 24/6

Douls tend to only come in for a few hours a day and are more like a maternity mothers help.

hi christmasshiny snowflakes, can you email me your cv
[email protected]

hi boo64, that's a good idea, i mean also unless you're having a c-section (which i don't think i am) you also don"t really know when your baby is even arriving....

thanks phraedd, i'm starting to get there a bit (been reading up a lot the last few days too!!)

are you sure a routine is what you are after? or do you mean more 'aaargh, get me through the first few weeks'? lots of doulas are breastfeeding supporters as well so it would be like having a personal bf supporter, also you could just pay for a few hours a day. or a cleaner/mothers help type arrangement might suit more - support the rest of your life while you get on with bonding with baby? a routine sounds great when you read all those books, once your baby arrives you realise most of them are talking a load of old crap

I did have a doula for a few visits after ds but I just found that after a few weeks we were getting settled and it wasn't really necessary. She came in and I could grab an extra nap or wash my hair whilst she did some dishes and looked after ds. But I'd planned to use her a lot more than I did. She was very flexible about that and used to requirements changing.
Yes I guess if you end up with a c-section maybe a daytime helper would be more needed than it was for me.

Danielle I apolgise I've only just seen this but have just emailed you

I'm a infant specialist and I'm currently four months into a six month position.

I think it depends on the maternity nurse what you can expect from them, be clear on your expectations. I am qualified and experienced as a nanny and started doing infant work last October. My first position was 24/6 for a third born, I did all the family cooking/shopping, helped with the older children, walked the dogs and really did any thing i could to help - all for £400 a week. It was a great experience!

I would suggest looking for 24/6 help for the first two weeks just so you can learn the day to day care etc, then you could decide after if you would rather help during the day or night or to go it alone.

whats an infant specialist?? because it sounds as though your roll in your first position was a nanny/mother
help?

Infant specialist is another phrase for maternity nurse - but usually one who takes on longer term positions than a 6 week maternity contract.

And first maternity nurse/nanny/practitioner/whatever positions are often maternity mother's helps, just for the newborn experience.

However qualified and experienced a nanny is they're unlikely to have worked extensively with very tiny babies, so they do need the experience and you take anything you can get when you're in that position.

I'm not a trained nurse so use the term infant specialist, although I have plenty of experience with newborns and training. I take on any length positions although after this one will not take one longer than three months. Six months is far to long to have no social life! Reason I did all I did in first position is it was a C-section and mother had Type 1 Diabetes so she needed plenty of support. It was a very relaxed family though - don't think I could have done it all if the families expectations were to high. Plus I like to keep busy!

If you look for someone to help out make sure it is someone who will show you how to do everything for baby and not just want to do it them selves. Also handy if they don't mind starting the meals/doing dishes etc so that you get to spend more time with your baby.