CM CLUB - How do you broach parents about lack of hygiene?

[LoveMyGirls]

I have tried lots of subtle hints, bathing mindee myself (because I can no longer stand the stench) I really wouldn't say anything if it wasn't really bad, how can i very very politly broach this?

I don't want to keep bathing mindee as feel its not my place. Mum seems totally oblivious and claims mindee is bathed daily (not possible)

How old is the child?

LMG how awful for the mindee.

I really dont know what to say.

Is it a 'wiping' type of issue ?

Do you have any other concerns about this child?

(please make sure that you have written permission to bath the child)

Yeh I've got written permission.

child is 2.

I don't know if its lack of wiping properly, not using wipes at all or not bathing often enough or if mindee just has very very strong smelling urine or a combination. All i do know is that I try to avoid smelling and its so strong it disgusts me.

I've cared for quite a few children now and this is the only one i've had this issue with so not like it's because mindee is not my child iyswim?

I feel awful, I really don't want to say anything but this has been going on fro ages and no amount of hints are helping.

This can be a sign of neglect - have you got any other worries?

How awful for the mindee. I don't know what to suggest really.

If the mother says that she baths the child every day, then can you play on that? Instead of saying that you don't believe her, maybe tell her that you're concerned about the mindee because they do have a strong odour which they shouldn't have if the mindee is bathed daily, and maybe the mother should consult their GP?

This way the mother will have to do something about it. You've pointed it out to her and your concerns and she will hopefully start taking more care of her child's hygiene. Or if she really is bathing the child every day, then she will have to take her chid to the GP. This approach should hopefully prevent any arguments, although she might be a bit embarassed, but at least it would hopefully kick start her!

HTH

No everything else is ok at the minute. I have had other concerns in the past and have alerted professionals to help.

I don't think mindee is neglected, infact is very loved I think this is a case of standards not being the same as mine, i have always bathed my kids everyday as much for routine as hygiene but I know some people only bath their children every other day.

Think this child has quite strong urine and the lack of hygiene makes that alot worse plus the fact mindee is in nappies all the time doesnt help. I do think that if a child wears a nappy they should be bathed daily and have some air and freedom unless they have skin conditions.

Just need to know how to broach it with mum without sounding like I dont think her care is good enough and offending her but also getting the point across that mindee needs to be bathed much more often not just mindee needs a bath today.

LMG

If a child is 2 years old he really shouldn't smell this bad even if he isn't bathed every day. Lots of children this young don't get a bath every day and don't smell.

Is there any chance this child has a urine infection or something else that makes the wee smell so strong?

aw LMG..poor tot!

think you ahve to be blunt TBH..ask to speak to mum and tell her you are concerned about her dd and wonder if she may have a urine infection being that she smells so strong of it?
does mum use wipes to change her bottom?, one of my occasioanl mindee mums doesnt and she doesnt smell too clean, but not stinky IYSWIM..if you are bathing, mum wont click and think oh better abth dd tonight as she's been done, tell her you have had to abth her several times due to the strong smell and risk of soreness for her dd!..you really do need to get straight to the point with her, hard i know!

My son has a bath once a week and he's in nappies (19mo). He doesn't smell. There must be a physical reason for the smell.

I'll try asking if mum will take mindee to gp's seems like that will be the least offensive way to bring it up..........

yes say you are concerned about the smell and that it is unusual even for a baby in nappies and that you would suggest she visit gp for check up to rule out water infection as her child must be very uncomfortable?..hope it works poor lamb

TBH i have a bit of a prob with an older mindee of mine, shes just gone 10 and has a worsening b.o problem and smelly feet problem, feel awful for her, she doesnt seem to notice but when parents pick their LO up, you acn see them turn their nose up as they come in the playroom...wonder if there are books on this kind of thing?

It's hard to bring this stuff up because its a very personal thing and you don't want to offend as there is the risk of the child being taken away

With the 10yr old maybe you could take mum to one side and mention perhaps its tiem she looked at getting her dd deodarent as she is developing quickly and also they need bathing daily and fresh deodarent applied daily my dd is 8 and she started gettingsmelly at 7!!! I couldn't believe it but no way would i leave her smelling.

It is more normal for an older child 10-13 years old to smell. This is because they are starting to be pre-pubescent and all those hormones bring with them the smells associated. A very young child (toddler) really should't smell that bad even if they have a bath once a week.

As LMG says, with the 10 year old she does need to start bathing/showering regularly and probably to start using deodorant.

I agree with the majority here. It sounds more like an medical problem than just uncleanliness. Children of that age don't need bathing everyday to prevent smells.

Agree with everyone - as you know, ds (4) gets bathed twice a week otherwise his skin gets bad but he doesn't smell. I'd say it's more a GP thing imo.

My DS is now 3 and only juust out of nappies, I have only bathed him once a week as has bad excema and I tend to wipe him with oilatum emolliant on a cloth rather than bath him. He has never been stinky (I hope)!

Is the mindee getting enough fluids?? I would bring it up as a possible medical concern too rather than hygiene.

hiya, well my older mindee does wear clean clothes each day, dont know about reg baths?, but think i may buy her a nice 'young designed' smelly set for christmas, maybe impulse or something of the sort?

when she first came, as im so blunt i came out with "whos got smelly feet"? and she said 'its me, ive ahd my trainers on today'..so i was blunt and she was open, so i may just be able to speak to her about it, tricky broaching it tho..but back to the 2yr old, this def needs looking at by gp, does she have more than one child?, its definatly not right!

I've had a gentle word and hopefully she will take steps to make things better. It's so horrible to have to mention it, i might get this thread deleted as i would be mortified if she happened to come across it but I have found it very useful. Thank you everyone.

Do you feel able to talk to her mum? perhaps when shes out of ear shot just incase she is sensitive about it.

I know I have to maKE SURE DD1 has bathed everyday and dries herself properly before putting deodarent on and i have to make sure she changes her clothes regularly - if she had her way she would wear the same things everyday!

they are not strong english speakers so i couldnt 'just mention' it as i have to explain lots of things in depth, would end up embarrasing i htink??

for a two year old to smell when you are bathing them and using wipes for bum changes is very strange - i think i'd worry it was a sign of kidney problems as i have a mindee with probs and strong smelling wee - also does the child drink eough?

how often do you have mindee LMG?

Ft.

smells like mindee has been bathed!