Au pairs - how to get one...

[oatcake]

... I've just been sifting through the message board and there've been a couple of web sites mentioned which I'll noted.

Do you have to go through an agency? Or is there an aupair share website at all?

I'm asking on behalf of a friend who's recently had to give up midwifery after splitting with her partner who's moved to saudi and is therefore unable to help with childcare. I've suggested that a part time aupair might be helpful.

She only has a two bed house with two kids in one room (boy 11, girl 10) so I suggested she could convert the lounge into the aupair's room and have the dining room as a living room. Not ideal, I know, but at least she'd be able to work.

Any other suggestions appreciated. Like, getting a nanny part time instead of aupair?

first of all can I just say I think it would be a great shame if your friend had to give up her midwifery career.

I don't think having a converted lounge as a bedroom would attract many au-pairs to be honest, and also soon the boy and girl won't be able to share a room anyway.

The only other option then is to employ a part-time nanny on an hourly basis, who is prepared to sleep over should your friend have to cover the night shift/early start.

I don't see why an aupair would be concerned about having a downstairs bedroom personally... don't plenty of people who live in bungalows sleep downstairs?? As long as the room has privacy (maybe a lock on the door) and amenities Im sure it will be just fine.

The ops friend can worry about the children sharing a room when it becomes an issue..maybe the daughter can sleep in mums room, or a partition wall can be put up in the childrens room.

You don't have to go through an agency to get an aupair. There are websites like gumtree and great aupair where families and aupairs can register/ advertise sometimes for a small fee. Although this saves your agency fee it does mean doing all the sifting, sorting, vetting etc yourself which can take a considerable amount of time.

Your friend could also use a childminder to cover the after school hours, obv depending on your friends hours. A part time nanny or mothershelp. It just depends on the hours she will be working which care is most suitable for her :-)

Jenna

Thanks for the difference of opinon re the lounge as a bedroom. I suppose my friend could give up her bedroom and sleep in the lounge?

It really has to be an aupair or nanny because shifts start at 7am or finish at 9pm... Can't imagine a childminder would be happy with the kids being collected at around 1opm...!

I can really see both sides ie. that of the hospital who require the ability to work shifts and that of my friend whose relationship with her husband ended during training two years ago...

We're all keen to get her back!

Also, if she gets herself sorted with childcare, she could increase her hours and eventually get a bigger place to live which would hopefully mean separate rooms for her kids...

You need to speculate to accumulate I suppose...

You may get a childminder willing to do those hours - esp. the 7am start. I'd imagine it would depend how early they would be dropped off, and working out distances between home, work, childminder and school. As the kids are older, they aren't going to influence numbers of under-5's, so the childminder might be willing to be a bit flexible on shifts?

Alternatively, you could get some sort of student, possibly with childcare quals / experience who would cover the evening shifts?

Do the hospital allow any flexibility? Doing three long days for example rather than four normal?

Yes, I've suggested one long day and one single shift to her as she only wants to work part time anyway...

She's due any minute now so we'll chew the cud then.

As for childminder, friend would have to drop off at 6.15am for a 7am start so believe me, I'm sure no-one would be up for that!

like the idea of a student though...

Can I second Jenna in saying that finding an au pair takes up a considerable amount of time. I'm trying it again after spending about 40 hours on it in the summer - all to no avail, bar one who might come to us next year as the dates didn't suit us last summer. It is a huge hassle. As I only need my au pair to work part time, I'm thinking that she could have another family or small part time job to do as well. That said, I'd lose the flexibility of her being able to look after my (secondary school age) children if they are off school with a cold or whatever, then. Sigh. Good luck to your friend, oatcake. I'm sure she appreciates your support.

our au pair sleeps downstairs and we are all upstairs which I think works well as we all get our own space. We basically had a double type lounge separated by interconnecting doors - we got a bed and cupboard from Ikea and converted the back loung into her bedroom and she seems fine with it. We were also very very lucky and got a recommendation for an au pair from mumsnet so didn't have to trail around looking. Best of luck to your friend, so far for us its worked out really well.

thanks all! I think friend was very intrigued by mumsnet and might be joining up soon!

I use aupairworld.net, and pay a small fee to get contact details for the au pairs who advertise on the site.

If the bedroom's nicely decorated, I dont see why it should put ap's off. Some might prefer to be able to tiptoe in in the middle of the night without disturbing the family.

Those hours are a bit unusual, they might put some ap's off. You just need to find the right person. Every ap has different motivation - some want to save money, some want to learn english, some want to meet a man in a nightclub, or just to travel.