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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Is it normal for families to not want to speak with their nanny after she left them?

8 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 18/11/2007 11:47

Thing is, I used to be a live-in nanny for a family and was basically part of the family. There was the dad, little girl and little boy and their mum worked abroad the whole time I was there but we spoke regularly on the phone. The childrens grandparents always said I was the best nanny the children ever had and the dad used to call me supernanny! It was lovely and they included me in everything. I did my job and did it really well IMO. In fact, I have had no reasons from the family or myself to think otherwise.

The dad used to take the p*ss a bit because he used to leave me babysitting and went out at night with his friends (which I didn't mind) but didn't come home the next day til gone midday which was my day off and this was pretty much every weekend he'd do the same or when I knocked off at 6pm he'd say, i'm just popping to the shop...won't be long and leave the children with me for 20 mins or so which was annoying after a 10 hour day. That was really why I left in the end but gave them the reason that I wanted to move back up north to be with my family but the family still loved me and I spoke with the parents and the children on the phone for a fair few months after I left, then I lost their number so I sent them a letter asking how they were and how school was etc but they never get back to me and I haven't spoke to them in about 2 years. I still send them christmas and birthday cards and send the children presents but still nothing and to be honest it is heartbreaking because I really loved the children and often had them for 2 weeks sole charge at a time while dad boss was away for work etc. Should I send anything this christmas or give up? Also, why would they be like this when I gave that family all I had in terms of my nannying abilities?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LolaTheShowgirl · 18/11/2007 11:50

By the way, the children were too young to call me or write back to me, so really it was up to the parents to write/call me....one of the children was just turned 4 and her brother was 2.

OP posts:
nannyL · 18/11/2007 13:40

sounds so upsetting for you.

maybe give up... or perhaps you could do it for one last year, and accept to yourself if you dont here anything throughought 2008 then nothing as of next Xmas

Sounds really hurtful that they havent even responded or thanked you for your kind gifts

LazyLinePainterJane · 18/11/2007 13:45

Maybe they moved house?

bigdonna · 19/11/2007 11:41

sometimes employers find it upsets children to see old nannies,i had the same situation,except they only rang me when they wanted something!!!!!

SantaBeClausImWorthIt · 19/11/2007 11:49

No matter how much you gave of yourself, that is your job as a live-in nanny. I'm sure that the children were very attached to you, but they were young and their lives have moved on.

It's a really difficult one this because actually you were just an employee - albeit that this kind of job comes with emotional attachment. We keep in touch with our old nanny who left just over a year ago, but it does get harder to know what to talk about when they're not involved in your lives on a day to day basis.

Sadly I think you just have to let go, and concentrate on your next family.

fruitloop79 · 19/11/2007 12:40

do they have your address now you've moved back up north? maybe they lost your number? maybe send them xmas cards this year and put your address and phone number on, saying "in case you've lost it"

It's sad but might be simple explanation like that.

I've got a friend who, last year, got her handbag nicked. She lost her phone and address book so couldn't send any xmas cards last year and found it very difficult to get back in contact again. So maybe something like this could've happened?

Just a thought

LolaTheShowgirl · 19/11/2007 21:00

Thanks for all your replies. Every card or letter I send to them I always put my address on so they've no excuse not to reply. Maybe they're just too busy and I think by now the little one will have forgotten about me as he was just a baby really (a babyish 2 year old) but he really loved me and called me 'momma' but it just saddens me that I probably won't get to know the children as they grow up even though I was once a big and daily part of their lives.

OP posts:
yogimum · 19/11/2007 21:17

I have worked for lots of families and now only keep in touch with one. Sadly they probably have moved on with their lives though I think its bloody rude that they don't acknowledge the gifts you have sent.

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