Hi,
I have separated from my daughters dad nearly 2 years ago due to our relationship being very toxic. He continues to be controlling and manipulative when things don’t go his way.
I work Friday-Sunday and if I can manage to find a babysitter / when she is in nursery I can work other days too, I used to take her to work with me if I had 1 client in but weekends I’m too busy and that isn’t doable or professional especially now she is a toddler. My ex has always worked Monday-Friday and my dd attends nursery Thursday & Fridays.
When we split he would have dd 2-3 nights a week Friday-Sunday as I work early mornings-late nights Friday & Saturdays. He has never been able to have Ivy on a week day due to work.
He is constantly giving me so much anxiety over him having to have dd on weekends because he wants a “social life”. I understand this and suggest to him that if he has plans to let me know and I can always work around them if I’m given notice and he says no because he doesn’t like that I’ll have control? Then I suggested we share Thursday & Sundays between us so at least he could have a Sunday off and I’ve also suggested 2 Saturdays in a month where I’ll block my diary off 6pm/7pm so he has time to go out in the evening, still declines.
I’m trying to find a solution that he is happy with but nothing is ever good enough and ends in him getting angry. These suggestions I’ve made in the 3 days I’m able to work while I’m baby free will also affect me financially. I’m not someone who goes out on weekends so I’m not taking advantage of him having her these days, I’ve always worked as my work is based on weekends.
I don’t want to have to change my job because of this, I’ve been self employed for 10 years doing what I love and it’s always been fine until we separated. He also gets a lot of help from his mum & sister on weekends too and my sisters when they aren’t working also offer to help.
I don’t have a mum or dad to help me and relying on family members rather than dd Dad isn’t consistent as I can’t expect them to have her every weekend if they aren’t my dd’s parents.
He is that manipulative I’ve told him I no longer want child maintenance from him as most weeks he has her 2 nights and because they are weekends he thinks I’m taking the p*ss out of him and doesn’t understand why he has to pay me and makes out I spend it on myself.
I really need to find some sort of childcare/nursery that runs on a Saturday but do they even exist? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a non verified baby sitter.
Please recommend any suggestions. I really just don’t want to suffer with the stress and anxiety anymore over him seeing his daughter