Starting school

[gooseygander88]

So DD1 is starting school in September, she's more than ready and excited for this which helps massively! However I'm having huge mum guilt, due to work commitments she may have to attend breakfast and after school club. Family members may be able to help, as well as I get a day off each week. My main concern (guilt) is it will be long days for her. In the future I may be able to reduce my hours however that won't be when she starts school. How do other working parents do this? Juggle the childcare/working arrangements? She's been in nursery since she was 1 so is used to being cared for whilst we work. I think it's more the guilt kicking in but when you've got bills to pay we need to work etc.

Mine are in before and after school club. My 3rd is starting school in September and will also be in before and after school club every day. It’s run outside the school so someone else will take them / pick them up.

It’s just the way that it is.

Thanks @PotteringAlong I think it's just knowing other parents are in the same situation if you get me?
Unfortunately I've had a lot of people stocking their nose in telling me i can't/shouldn't be doing this - I should be there for her etc :(

My DD goes to breakfast and after school club three days a week, sometimes more. She doesn't like breakfast club to be honest as there are less kids there but I'm sure she will get used to it! I didn't do afterschool club for the first two weeks of term, then she started afterschool club, then it was lockdown so although she still went (keyworker parents) there was no wraparound care, and now since Jan it's breakfast club and afterschool club all the way 😁she was also in nursery so used to long days. We don't have family around so if we did then maybe we would have someone doing a pick up or two, but she would still be going some days!

My ds has been in breakfast and after school club since Reception. He loves it because he gets to play with his friends before and after school!

We do a mix, but also I pick up dd and her mate on my day off, and the friends mother reciprocates on her day off, so it's like a play date. Maybe you could find an arrangement like that?

Depending on your little one most young school children get on better with a childminder as it's coming away from a busy school environment, being collected by a warm friendly face and going back to a homely atmosphere where they can relax play what they want talk through any worries etc. As a childminder can also sort out issues like lost items, uneaten lunch, watch they have drunk enough, sort out soiled under clothes, ask teachers about incidents like disagreements bruises etc.

What will you do training days, school holidays and the induction period where they often do a week or more part time?

Thanks for all your input and replies.

With regards to training days, holidays etc this is something we can juggle with us taking annual leave, family members and holiday clubs etc. Also when she does the settling days this is something myself, partner and annual leave will cover. My main concern was school and it being a long day.

I love the idea of a child minder as a familiar face like you say so definitely will have a look into our local minders. This may also help with the holiday as well I guess.

A lot to look into - will be a lot easier knowing when / start dates too!

We carried on with our amazing childminder. Particularly good for eg going to after school parties (now they’re back!) and taking to clubs and for inset days.

Those who think you should be there...do they think your other half should be or just you? It’s just that any time anyone said that to us they did a U-turn when it was explained that I outearn DH and it would be him doing part time not me, suddenly whatever worked best for us was perfect!

We managed it avoid breakfast club and minimise the time at after school by me starting work and finishing early and dh who is self employed would do the drop off and make up time at night or the weekend.

Ds, previously used to 4 long days at nursery each week, was ridiculously tired when he got home when he first started school. If either of you can be flexible in the first couple of months it would help. You might need to be flexible anyway as many schools do short days for the first weeks to settle them in, and after school wouldn't take them until after this is completed, so save up your annual leave!!

Once he got used to it Ds loved his after school and playing with friends.

I used a before / after school nanny and then a friend (who I paid to pick DS up and then sit in the house with her DS until I came back). By far the best solution (for reliability and peace of mind) was just working an extra day and reducing my hours on the other days - not sure if this is possible - but it worked for me.

@DelurkingAJ unfortunately my partner is the main earner however his working patterns are changing next year and he may have to look for a new job but that's all a bit up in the air at the moment.
So until then I need to keep my job until he's sorted.
However to have the luxuries as well as the bills to pay we both need to work so reducing hours or anything til my partner is settled well have to do what we can. It's just the guilt and everyone else making us feel this way..