Nanny looking for a new job without informing us

[Autumnsun1985]

Hi, just wanted some opinions on this...
Got a new nanny for our 2 children (both under 2). She started at the end of last year and told us she was looking for a long term job. This suited us. She has never raised any issues with us regarding the job and we thought everyone was happy.
However, we recently found out that she’s been looking for a new job behind our backs. Saying she’s available to start straight away. We have a contract with a 4 week notice period in place!
Is this a relatively common issue?
Not sure how to go about it all now.
We have as far as we are concerned been quite laid back employers and have sort of ‘left her to it’ - so am surprised this is happening so soon.

@HavelockVetinari

Look for a new nanny immediately. If she's worked for you for less than 2 years you can dismiss her without a reason - after that you need to pay either redundancy or severance.

I know people say it's a person's right to look elsewhere, and that's true, but this is the person who looks after your most precious DC - you need someone trustworthy. If she's saying she can start immediately she's a liar. Get rid. I'd never allow someone like that sole charge of my DC.

I agree with this. I think you’ve had some pretty harsh replies. Of course you’re going to be worried if she’s looking to start working elsewhere immediately, she’s potentially going to break your contract and leave you with no childcare or back up plan. I do think it is different when you’re working in these sort of roles. While you obviously need to put yourself first, if you’re a caring and ethical person then you’re going to consider the children that have bonded to you and the parents that are relying on you. She’s not doing that.

@underneaththeash
I just assumed that the notice period was something u couldn’t really enforce as an employer of a nanny. I’m assuming that if she didn’t want to work her notice period, then there isn’t much we can really do, apart from withhold a reference.

@Insomnia5
Thank you. This was my point but perhaps I didn’t really put it across well in my initial post.

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously
That’s really the main worry. Being left with no childcare. Plus we like her and the children do too. I suppose it’s business to her, which is understandable. But we asked for a notice period and didn’t expect her to break that part of the contract

@HavelockVetinari
Agreed. Thank you.

Why would she tell you she's looking for a new job? She might not find one suitable for years Surely everyone keeps their options open?

Have a review, ask her if she’s happy and if there’s anything she wants to talk about.
Also, if she’s doing a good job - praise her! Everyone needs positive feedback.

As others have said she is entitled to look for a new job, but you accept that

How do you know she is looking. Have you seen an active profile on childcare for example

You have nothing to lose by asking her if she is happy

Have a chat. Mention you will be sad she is looking fir a new job Ask her if anything you can do tho change situation , esp as you both said you wanted long term

Well she’s not happy staying in your employment for whatever reason so I would start looking for another nanny. I would find out from her if she plans to work her notice or not. Also I found giving a nanny reference if very informal. It’s a chat on the phone and more personal because you are recommending someone to look after someone else’s children. I would be frank with the potential new family about the notice period and when they are expecting her to start so they are aware of the situation and can make their own decision on how trustworthy she is. Good luck finding her replacement. Finding someone with twins experience might mean they will be unfazed by looking after 2 under 2.

She’s not your slave! If she wants to leave she’s entitled too. lol I can see why she wants to leave.

Former nanny here.

She is of course entitled to job hunt without telling you but she needs to work her notice.

That she is indicating she may not work her notice - and therefore risking no or a bad reference from you - suggests to me 3 possibilities:

1 she has done this before to other families - did you check refs including gaps in cv?

2 something about her current role is making her very unhappy - pay (are you paying at least the going rate for your area and the role she's fulfilling? Are you covering out of pocket expenses etc?) expectations, conditions,difficulties with one or more children's behaviour

3 something in her personal circumstances have changed meaning she needs to urgently change hours, location or similar (usual reasons for this are pregnancy, illness or needing to cover some care of an adult)

A good nanny would generally have the confidence to discuss if 2 or 3 are the issues, but also a good employer checks in with nanny regularly (I would say a monthly informal chat is good) just seeing how things are going, ASKING If there's anything that needs to be improved upon from either side or needs to be changed - sometimes this can be something as innocuous as a child needing a slight change to routine due to development but can be something as serious as the employer taking advantage or undermining nanny or even (sadly more common than many would like to admit) dad being an arse and sexually harassing the nanny.

There's a reason why she is looking elsewhere, if you'd like to hang onto her you're going to have to bite the bullet and approach her and ask what this is in such a way as to be open to anything she may have to say.

I left one job because one of the grandads was a creep and kept coming around unannounced ostensibly to see dc but actually to be a creepy pain in the arse! I'll be honest I didn't tell employers this was why, I said I was changing my hours to spend more time with my husband. I was young and naive and I wish now I'd told the truth, especially as I learned they lost the next nanny for the same reason.

I'm afraid I'm also concerned at your "leaving her to it" that rather sounds as if she is unsupported in her role and left with the majority of the mental load in caring for your kids.

There's a balance between being dictatorial and not taking any responsibility, can be tough to find.

@HOkieCOkie

She’s not your slave! If she wants to leave she’s entitled too. lol I can see why she wants to leave.

That's got to be one of the most stupid posts I've seen on a thread. The OP hasn't been keeping her in a cupboard under the stairs! She isn't unreasonable for being concerned that her nanny is secretly looking for another job and indicating to potential new employers that she won't serve her contracted notice.

OP if you are 100% sure she is job hunting and saying she can start immediately, I can understand why you aren't feeling delighted! She obviously is entitled to look for another post and the reality is there's not much you can do if she suddenly leaves. You can't know that til it happens, unless you have a very frank conversation now and she confirms it. She might change her mind. It's a horrible position for you to be in.
I know someone mentioned planning activities etc. I have to say, I don't mind suggestions or occasional planned stuff, but the ideal is as much autonomy as possible. I guess it's horses for courses!

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously
Thanks for replying - this, as you mention has been the main concern. Employing a nanny does not automatically make me some sort of superior bitch who treats people like slaves.
@Graphista
Thanks for your thoughts, appreciate it. We do pay above going rate etc. Would you be able to explain what you mean re leaving a nanny to take on the mental load? Some examples?
@Scratchpostkitty
This is what I thought re autonomy. If this thread is anything to go by, it’s a minority view.

It could be that lockdown and Covid changes have just made her think her job is too hard, perhaps she now wants school age children so she has a break.

Honestly, I would ask if she can stay for a glass of wine and discuss her review (are you able to offer a pay rise even a small percentage or perhaps something else).

Or come home with a bottle of wine for her , just to say thank you for getting through Covid as a nanny (it’s been incredibly lonely and tough for us).

I have stayed in jobs for years but when I felt it was time to move on I certainly didn’t tell my bosses, I once interviewed for a job, did a trial day and then turned down the job. I stayed another three years for the family I was considering leaving at the time.

Finally- not sure what people mean to be put upon, it’s a nanny dream (unless they’re young and need some guidance) to have free rein of the activities, not micro managed by a mum. You sound like a lovely person and I wonder if just a polite chat about whether there are any changes you could make that would keep her longer.

It could boil down to silly things like her having to use her own card which you reimburse, that you leave your dishes out each night, that she’s wanting a shorter commute or anything!