Grandparents don't seem interested

[clairejnelly]

My parents live over an hour away but are obsessed with my 3 month old.

My partners parents are 10 mins away but not that bothered.

I understand all grandparents are different. Recently I've suffered with post natal depression, insomnia and we have just moved house. We asked if they would sit with our daughter to give us some time out and we felt like we were putting on them... it didn't feel natural.

His mum has been off work for 10 days and hasn't asked to see the baby or spend time, but we have nipped round to theirs.

I can't help but feel upset, but at the same time I'm fully aware that we are all different...

How can I feel differently?

My parents weren’t in the same country so I had no hope there and my in laws were still working. I went back to work so we employed a nanny who didn’t mind throwing the vacuum around.

So youve seen them twice in 10 days.... which is lots. What more do you actually want from them?

I wish my mother wasn't interested! She's actually asked to see DS around once a month, which we feel is far too much for us. Everyone has different expectations.

I was actually thinking like once a month asking them, I don't need regular childcare as my mum comes over each week and me and my husband have our own business. I wouldn't think it would be unreasonable to ask once a month maybe?

You don’t seem to be listening to the answers you’ve been given, @clairejnelly. Once a month babysitting is regular childcare! You keep saying you don’t want childcare from them, but that’s exactly what you’re demanding. They see the baby regularly when you visit them, and they are under no obligation to ‘support’ your decision to have a child, I’m afraid. If you are struggling with being a new mum, I strongly suggest talking to your health visitor (who can signpost you towards baby groups, peer and professional support networks), and drawing on the support that it sounds like your parents are very happy to give. Keep visiting your parents in law with your husband and family, and their relationship with their grandchild will naturally develop.

Covid tests

WTF?!

So what support do you want from them-did you answer that? What exactly do you want them to do?