Childminder near work rather than home, will it cause issues at bedtime if baby sleeps on the commute home

[sleepymama123]

Hi guys,

I'm starting to get worried I have made the wrong decision in regards to childcare options.

I work 35 minutes away from home and I have chosen a childminder close to work. This seemed to make sense when I made the decision as me and DH work close by so if there were any issues then we would be close to our son.

My son will be in childcare from 7:30-4(ish) 3 days a week and 7:30-5:30 once a week. He will begin going to the childminders when he is 9 months old.

I am starting to get really anxious that the drive home will cause DS to have an afternoon nap and then will be awake all evening... does anyone have any experience of this? At the moment he often falls asleep in the car, even if I'm only going to the shops 5 mins down the road.

Am I being silly to be getting worried about this? I think overall I'm just feeling really anxious about returning to work and leaving DS with a childminder- because of the lockdowns I haven't left him for more than a supermarket trip so far!

Thanks in advance for any responses!

When I went back to work DD went to a childminder close to work which was about 25-30 minutes away from home. She did sometimes fall asleep on the way home but I’d try and entertain her with toys, chatting to her etc and it wasn’t too bad. She’d still go to sleep at night ok and as she got older it happened less.

I think that's a bad idea, closer to home is better.
If there are any issues your childminder will wait an acceptable length of time.
He's bound to fall asleep on the way home.We struggled even with a nursery run of 20 minutes.

I think it depends on your child tbh. I’ve looked after children that never fall asleep in the car, so you’d have no problem At bedtime, but I’ve also had children that are asleep before we have got to the main road, so that wouldn’t be ideal.

Personally I think nearer to home is better. Your child is more likely to get to know there local area, it’s maybe not ideal to spend an hour a day strapped in a car seat and if you have a day off work, you are ill, or have an appointment, you have to drive quite a way to get the child To childcare. Local childcare mean this isn’t such an issue. Although it sounds as if your dp works close to the childcare too is this is maybe less of an issue.
The main thing is that you are confident with your choice. That you Get on with the Childminder and are confident in their ability to care for your child. That is the most important bit. Anything else can be worked around.

I've always preferred childcare close to home because it least they can still go if you're off sick or working from home without you having to trudge into work and home again anyway. Was really handy when pregnant with dc2 to have dc1 happy with childcare nearby in case of emergency hospital trips etc. As pp says, their familiarity with the local area meant they were greeted by name at the local library and playgroup etc even though I'd not been wihh them regularly, and when they started school they knew lots of familiar faces from the park and toddler groups that I'd never been too!

I did use nursery a few times when I was poorly or had hospital appointments, WFH. I think being near work is a bit limiting. I always found it good to get DD home quickly from being picked up.

Thanks for the responses guys, I really appreciate it.

The main reasons we chose a childminder close to work is that me and DH are both within 5 mins of the childminder. We don’t live in a town with any family so if there was an issue we don’t have anyone else to rely on.
Secondly, my DH starts work at 7am and I start work at 7:45 so realistically if we used a childminder close to home we would need them to accept drop-off’s around 7am at the latest, which we found most didn’t.

I feel super confident with the childminder in all other aspects- they are really lovely and nurturing, the setting is beautiful. I feel very happy with the set up, my only issue is this sleep thing. I didn’t even think it would be an issue until a friend asked if my DS had dropped the third nap now when I was talking about his night wakings..

Just out of interest, if he were to nap at 4:30 for 10/20 mins how would this affect his night time sleep? Would he go to bed later?

I would go for one close to home personally, if you're just 35 minutes away that's not too far. If you have annual leave you might want to send them in still and it would mean driving to near your work just to drop them off, or if you're not feeling great etc- plus I just felt more comfortable knowing they were close to home. If my car broke down as well and I had to get a lift/public transport to work couldn't be arsed dragging them along, and had more friends/family close to home than work who could help if absolute needs be.

I think it really depends on the child. It would have made no difference to dd1, but for dd2 it would have prevented her sleeping until later - maybe not a terrible thing if you've not seen them all day anyway, means you get a bit more time together in the evening before they need to go to bed.

My dd goes to nursery next to my work which is about a 30 min drive home. I usually collect her at 5:30. She's only fallen asleep once and it didn't impact on the time thay she went to sleep. She has a couple of noisy toys that I only let her have in the car, I turn the car lights on (mat leave ended in November so was so dark by the time I collected her!) I don't have the car too warm and have been known to play with her windows to keep her awake.

I love her being close to me - I feel like I enjoy our journeys together and it's not so far away that it's impossible to take her on your day off either.

I had this issue. Work is an hour away from home. We chose a nursery close to home. Yes if something happened it would take me longer to get to him but this is rare. The sleeping on the way home was the main factor we chose close to home as didn't want it to affect his routine. Also, if I had the odd day off but still wanted/needed him in childcare. I didn't want to have to then do the commute twice. It does cost more as means we have to pay for the commuting time aswell as our working hours though.

What about days off work? You'll have over an hour round trip to drop him off then another hour round trip to pick him up.

My ds used to fall asleep on the drive home and it was only a few minutes. Nightmare.

Op I was similar situation to you and I'm 9 months in. It's been useful for when covid bubbles burst / lo has been unwell or just wouldn't settle in the early days BUT it's also been a complete pain in terms of wfh etc. I chose the nursery before covid hit and then when I realised I might be wfh more often it was too late to actually view any nurseries as many were closed or wouldn't let you inside etc so didn't feel comfortable changing.

In terms of sleep, sometimes it did impact but at 9m there's also a sleep regression /leap and there's also the adjustment of getting used to napping in a new environment so I found my lo slept a bit in the car but they needed it as they hadn't napped as well. Some nights it did mean a slightly later bedtime but generally that's not been an issue. It took a couple of months for us all to get used to it and get a good routine going. Snacks in the car are also essential.

Overtired screaming baby in the car for 30-40 mins is not an ideal start to the working day (my lo hates her car seat and gets bored unless nursery rhymes are on), especially if you get caught in traffic and aren't moving.

Overall I do regret the choice and once we've moved house I'll be choosing somewhere closer to home and changing my work hours if need be, as it'll just be easier all round. I also regret it in terms of making friends now, as some kids from nursery do play dates when allowed but it's not really practical for us to do that.

One of my nursery mum friends does a 5 minutes drive from nursery to home and her daughter falls asleep if she's not napped in the day. I get texts at 10 pm to say she's still not asleep! Everyone is different though. If you find it's disrupting your sons sleep then you can find one nearer to home.. I don't think you'll have a problem, my DD and I went to my parents house which is a 2 hour drive, we left at 5pm and she napped all the way, I still put her down to sleep at 7.30pm and she went to sleep no problem... Everyone is different.

Could you move closer to work? If both you and your DH both work there and you have no family in your current town. Cutting out a long commute would be invaluable.

You will find a schedule that works for your family. It may not be the same as anyone else's but it will work fine.
Remember that the naps are only for the first few months and you'll muddle through.

By choosing a nursery close to work you have more time with your baby.

Your decision sounds fine.

In a few month's time you'll be able to stop on the way home I at any handy park for some fun after work with your little one. If you chose childcare close to home you'd have less opportunity for that!

Even if he did have a nap on the way home at 4pm I wouldn't be too worried. It wouldn't have affecting night time sleeping for either of my children.

Better to have more local to home as often that little power nap will knock out his routine and not be in bed for 7

You will be stressing trying to keep away

I th8nk any naps after 3 is danger zone bu5 sure many will disagree

And if you have a day off work, nicer to have cm local

Will you and your partner be commuting together or in separate cars? If together, one adult could surely sit in the back to make sure he didn’t fall asleep on the longest day.

I’m going to go against the grain and say I think it will be fine. Good childcare is hard to come by and you seem happy with this arrangement. 10-20 mins at 4pm is unlikely to mess up bed time until they’re a toddler, and by then they’ll most likely be able to stay awake if you’re willing to bring things like a sketch pad/sticker book/ iPad/ milk for the drive back. X

Toddlers who don’t sleep Anymore are more risk of sleeping 4pm

Oh I'd choose a CM closer to home. If either of mine slept even just 5 mins after 3pm,I wasn't getting them to bed before 9.30/10pm!

I was 30 mins away from mine, was never an issue if I had to collect. Just remember if your WFH or need a day off for workers etc you're going to have to go all that way to drop off/pick up.