Help! I have a needy nanny

[chocchipcookie]

She is wonderful with my dd, no complaints on that front.

But OMG she talks incessantly. My DH now leaves before she arrives and stays out until she's left because he cannot stand it.

Sometimes I am backing out of the door and she is still talking.

Also, I can be saying something and she will just cut across me and she's off.

She is an older lady, 3 children of her own now grown, very caring/nurturing, I think her life is a bit dull and probably her husband is all talked out so she loves to talk to me. At me?

So I try to make time in the morning. I now eat my breakfast with her plus try to cook evening meal ahead so that I can be doing something but still give her attention. Can't believe I just wrote that.

I do appreciate she she is alone in the house most of the time so it can be a lonely job. But how much time is reasonable to spend with her? I feel I sometimes don't get enough time on my own to do my own stuff as it is. She is P-T, 15 hours a week.

No advice but she sounds just like my MIL so have huge sympathy!

Apparently her husband spends a lot of time in the garden.

lol @ garden he prob. has a fantastic shed

you are obviously to nice
say sorry you'd love to chat but you have to do a/ b/ and c/ then RUUUNNN

Sounds just like the cleaning lady at my work. She's here while the parents are at work so it's me that ends up being talked at. I'm afraid I just avoid her and try to be out with the children all day.

I think I need to spend some time talking to her but I don't know how much is reasonable. (Also, sometimes I avoid going past the kitchen or whereever she is because she always engages me in conversation, calling out something so that I can't ignore it...)

A bit sneaky but if you have to go past a room she is in have your mobile to your ear and be yes'ing and no'ing and you SHOULD be left in peace fingers crossed

I clearly have a serious problem. Today I was checking my messages on my phone and she still talked the whole way through. She is &*%$ unstoppable.

Oh dear - sounds like my MIL, too. We all went on a family holiday recently and she talked morning, noon and night - mostly about the same three topics.
I used to pretend to have a nap in another room.
Sorry I can't offer any practical advice, but you have my full sympathies!

Oh no she sounds like me
My kids are still small though so I don't think you're my employer
I do 'talk at' my mindee's mum a bit though ; and I know I do it but can't help myself. I'm stuck at home with my three all the time, plus her lo 2 days, and I'm quite starved of grown-up company!

If she's that good with your dd, maybe it's a small price to pay? (she says hopefully )

I definitely wouldn't change her because she is so good, Sazisi. It's this feeling I have of constantly trying to 'get away'. She just doesn't take the cues that I really can't talk - like when I'm on the bloody phone or trying to concentrate on something. I only have her PT so I have loads and loads to get done during that time. i fel it really eats into 'my' time.
You seem aware of it so I bet you're not that bad, I don't think she has a clue how annoying it can be. It's all the time.
Not sure how much I should be doing to talk. Sometimes it gets a bit much.

chocchip you'll have to be firm she's there so you can get things done she may well be great with the kids but that's no good if you cant work is it?

TOUGHEN UP

My aupair was like this, she was 22 though and had me around all day. She couldn't keep her mouth shut.
Infact dp noticed that she had some sort of oral fixation because there was always something going on with her mouth, if she wasn't talking she was smoking, eating, drinking tea or drinking alcohol.
In the end I couldn't stand it any longer.
I have no aupair now, she's put me off for life

How do I toughen up?

Take a leaf out of her husband's book and build yourself a shed.

Do you work from home?

Yes I do. She also calls me when I'm out, most recently to remind me to buy batteries for dd's toy - I already had them on my bloody list.

Can you give her a different ringtone on your mobile? Then you know not to answer.

I recommend these worryingly often on mn but...

earplugs.

Can you shut your door and write DO NOT DISTURB on it, then leg it out the door saying, "Can't stop, I'm running late for a meeting, leave me a note, bye!"

If you do the above at speed, it will be harder for her to butt in.

how do you toughen up?

it's probabally(sp) too late now

just be grunty - unapproachable - give out f*%k off i'm busy vibes

but i fear you're too polite

when you on the bus/tube/platform and uyou don't want to talk to anyone surely you give off f*%k off vibes?

or is it just me

Does she keep a diary for you? That may stop any kind of battery message/daily minutiae conversation.

I don't know how to give off Fuck Off Vibes. That's why I spend a lot of bus journeys learning about how vinegar causes Lust, and how Jesus can still save my children even if I am a lost cause.

After a particularly bad plane journey (he was a ministry of defence analyst who drank a lot) I was cured of the stranger talking to me problem. Now open a book, put on headphones, pretend not to understand.

But that might be going a bit far with my nanny.

LOL @ Colditz

i guess i'm just one unfriendly ole bitch

Surely 'assertive at maintaining personal boundaries'?

Tbh I wonder how much of this is because the chat is so boring. I also employ a student who babysits and does odd days, she is a lot of fun, reminds me of what it is to be young. I love hearing her go on about b/friend, nights out, going to concerts.

But the other lady's talk is about crochet, her 'boys' and how amazingly talented they are, her son's girlfriend and how useless she is, her husband's political opinions and gardening.