choosing a childminder for my PFB please help allay my fears

[mamadoc]

Going back to work in Feb and have started visiting childminders this week (I know I've left it late burying my head in the sand is a fault of mine.)

I have the NCMA list of qs but I still feel clueless on how to choose. How can I really tell if this is someone I can trust or if they're just putting on a good show. Any insider tips?

And one silly thing that really worries me. I love DD but she sure gets on my nerves sometimes especially when she is overtired but won't nap and I wind up carrying her round screaming in my ear. Can I really expect someone else to put up with that. How do you cope when your mindees are really getting on your wick?

Message withdrawn

I found once you've met someone, you get a good gut instinct about whether they are right or not - once they are a real person rather than "a childminder" in the abstract.

My childminder is lovely and has much more patience with DD than I do!!

I have had some recommendations but then my first impression of the most recommended lady wasn't so good- she seemed to be putting me off a bit saying Feb was a long way off but it was only on the phone. We shall see.

Can't say much more that lenny really. I agree entirely, that recommendation is wonderful, if you are lucky enough to get it. If not, just work your way through the list you've got, visit and talk a lot. Go during the day when she has got mindees if you can, you'll get a good idea from the children if she's interacting with them.

On the 'getting on your wick' thing! Personally, I have found over the 12 years that I have minded, that its very rarely a minded child gets on my wick! Honest! To start with, they will always push their own mothers to the limit. The cm is fun to be with, because she does fun things all day and doesn't have rl life to get in the way! Secondly, I get to give your children back and can sleep for 10 hours solid a night if I wish! From your personal problem with the screaming, the answer is, any cm worth her salt won't put up with it - she'll help you get it sorted!

Good luck!

Thanks Maureen I guess it is different when its your job. I don't get annoyed with my patients ever but DD has the power to push buttons I never knew existed.

I've got a 12 year old dd just like that! I may be calm, cool and collected with other peoples lo's, but mine don't half get on my wick at times!

Message withdrawn

I absolutley adore my childminder - so does DS2.

When you start to look around you soon get a feel for who is decent and who isn't.

Some people have their own children there as well and are doing it as a stop gap to earn money before going back to work. Others are doing as a career choice and in my opinion these are the best.

I knew straight away that my cm was the one I would use. She cooks homecooked food (today was homemade fish pie with peas), has a separate playroom with a notice board and display board with all their art work up and labelled and goes to lots of clubs.

Ds2 goes on a Tues, Thurs and Fri morning. On Tuedsay he goes to Tuneful Tots, on Thursday morning a local playgroup and on Friday a Messyplay Group.

Also, she has an assitant so there are up to 6 children there - so very sociable.

I went to see one CM who had a cream leather suite, no sign of any toys, a glass cabinet in the lounge and Lladro ornaments on her hearth! It did not look like the sort of place where anyone had any fun (although I could be wrong she did nothing to persuade me otherwise).

I think that by the time you have visited a few you will be able to tell who you would leave your child with and who you wouldn't.

I know what you mean lenny. I initially looked at nurseries and it is easier to book to go round, always someone in the office etc but I really want her to have one constant person.
Thanks all. I feel a bit better now. Will let you know how the search turns out.

Hi mamadoc, I am a childminder and I encourage any prospective parents to visit me in the evening/at a weekend when they want to look at my portfolio, talk money etc but also ask them to visit when I have mindees there too so they can see what we do. I am also happy for them to visit as many times as they want to. I think when you meet a childminder you instinctively know whether you would feel happy to leave your child with them or not. Ask as many questions as you want to, even if you feel your question may seem silly or trivial, if its important to you don't be afraid to ask.

I also find that my own children can push me to the limit but my mindees never do (although its a different story with their own parents), they eat their veg when I serve it, they tidy up after themselves, they try new foods etc, none of which they do for their parents so I wouldn't worry.

Good luck.

OK so I've been visiting all my local childminders with vacancies and think I have found a couple who I like. They have a fantastic place with huge garden, they seem very organised and most important all the children seemed very happy and have been there long term.

Only thing slightly bothering me is they say they don't really do going out to groups and I have the feeling they don't do a lot of structured activities with them. I don't think I mind that as its more important to me she is well cared for. I can do the groups bit myself.

Would it bother you? Is this a bad sign? Going to visit again next week anything to look out for?

Mamadoc I wouldn't let the lack of group activities bother you. A few months ago I was feeling slightly miffed because before DS started she had mentioned activities such as big days out but these hadn't materialised. Then I realised that a) it means we have new fun things to do with DS when he is with us b) I think its quite good for children not to be constantly "entertained" and to understand that life isn't designed to revolve around them at all times. however I would expect a CM to do some art and cooking type things with them or at least take them out for walks/

I was quite pleased they were up front about it and I'm with you rookiemum on children not needing constant educational activities at such a young age. I will look out for evidence of craft stuff next visit.