Please help me with what to do!

[queenofthelamas]

DS is currently at home with us. He is nearly 20 months. We are both due to go back to work in June and are looking at all the options open to us.

We originally liked the thought of a nursery as there would be more than one adult in the room at all times etc. However covid has really scared us and apart from 100% essential journeys we have not been anywhere since it started (obviously walks etc but I mean shops and bits like that). We are nervous about sending him to a place with so many children and adults. We also have demanding jobs who would not take kindly to us needing to be on and off if DS gets a snotty nose etc.
We are now looking at childminders/nanny. We love the idea of a nanny and money is not an issue to hire one however we are aware that he would still not be interacting with other children which I have been told is damaging him? We have a couple of childminders locally but they wouldn't have space to have him for the whole week so would need to split across a couple and I don't really like the fact they would take him on the school run for the older children etc.

To be honest I'm really struggling with this decision. We are unsure what is happening with DH work as they have said he won't be back in the office full time but no indication has been given what sort of days and times he would be doing. This would effect which area we would look in for a childminder or nursery as we are about 1 1/2 hours commute from home. It's such a mess and apart from quitting my job which realistically I cannot afford to do I'm stuck.

Could anyone give me some experiences/give my head a shake?

From an anxiety point of view for you, it sounds like a nanny is a good choice. I suspect your DC will have infinitely more fun at nursery though (as I’m assuming you won’t let your nanny and DC mix at toddler groups/soft play etc).

@WaggishDancer I think (hopefully!) if cases begin to fall especially in the summer months we would be comfortable with him joining groups and going to soft play.

Well, in theory, we should all be freer in June than we are now.... If you had a nanny, you hear of nannies meeting up with other nannies in the park etc, which is good for the nannies and the children too. If you don't like this idea, my post will it least give it a bump for you

Just get a nanny if you can afford one..? Most nannies take the kids out to playgroups and on playdates with nanny friends anyway. Or look to share a nanny with someone for a built in playmate.

If it’s any reassurance I manage a small nursery and we have been open throughout the whole pandemic with no cases among staff or children
We also don’t exclude for a runny nose
Maybe start looking at local nurseries

Not all childminders do school runs (I don’t anymore) but I don’t see the problem with them. I accept it’s personal choice but the little ones loved going to pick up the big children when I used to do it a few years ago.

I think you're asking the wrong question tbh. It's not about if a childminder/nursery /nanny is better in general, you need to look at the options in your area. For instance a nursery with small groups who are adhering to bubbles etc could be safer than a childminder with 2/3 assistants and numerous children. So I think you'd be better exploring the actual options available and trying to compare them.

In regards to work absences though, I do think that a nursery who takes a sensible approach to runny noses and teething pain can be better than a childminder because if the childminder is off then you may not ha r an alternative. However a picky nursery who call at the first sign of a slightly dodgy nappy could be a nightmare compared to a childminder who has an arrangement for sick cover

I think I find it so hard because I was never put in childcare, we never had a babysitter, we're never left with anyone but my mum until we started school. If mum was ever ill or had to go anywhere my grandparents would have us. Therefore this is a completely foreign concept for us and one which my mum enjoys making me feel guilty about!

Nanny... best option all round..

Your mum can look after him then? No?
Well then what does she expect you to do?..
I think he’d have great fun at nursery.

Nanny! Before Covid our two would go out on play dates daily, toddler groups, adventures to the local woods (den building!), picnics, to meet up with other nannies etc.

Older one started preschool with not a worry at all, and is super polite and socialises well (bit of a shame she can be a full on tweenager with us at home).

@Snoodleberry that's really reassuring to hear. Thank you

All of the options are good in different ways, it just depends what you would feel more comfortable with, and what would work best for you all. I wouldn't worry too much about socialising with a nanny though, post covid they will be able to go to groups and acitivities outside of the home, so won't be around other little ones as much, but can spend some time if that is what you want. You can always change your mind as well, if you try a setting and it doesn't suit, you can move to another. I would say that being across multiple settings across a week would probably make it hard to settle, but if you can find a childminder, the right one can be amazing.

One of my friends is a nanny and she’s always off on days out to the park, picnics, local wildlife centres with other nanny’s and their kids - so if that feels more comfortable with you I wouldn’t worry about the aspect of them not mixing with our kids