Preparations for imminent arrival of an ap

[cloudberry]

OK Laura, here goes ....!! I know it's been done in other threads but .... Any pearls of wisdom please?!

Car insurance
Bus timetables
Local map
List of local clubs/societies and numbers
List of rules and do's/don'ts
Spare keys of everything (in triplicate - one au-pair = two lost keys at least)
small supply of crisps/kitkats/diet coke (no matter what nationality this will be their diet)
Locks on ap room & bathroom door ('tis only polite)
Clear out a cupboard in the kitchen for putting 'do not eat or I will kill you' items out of temptation
'Student' cookbook (or nigella books which are just as easy)
Skype or similar
laptop in their room if you have one spare
Couple of Europe to UK converter plugs if necc
big towelling dressing gown (pound to a penny they wont have one or will have some naff shorty thing not appropriate for either UK weather or DH's blood pressure)

With you on the dressing gown!

Thanks for that CB and Squiffy.

Hadn't even thought of a lock on her door.

Have the big dressing gown at the ready

Our aupair has booked her ticket for the 18th, so it's really happening! She will arrive at 8.30pm, so probably won't get here this side of 10pm. What do we do on the first night? Just let her go to bed?

V.scared now.

Couple more thoughts...

Do you do your aupairs washing? I'm not going to ask our ap to do our washing, as I'm happy to do it (SAHM), and if I do it myself, it will be done right I'm happy to do hers in with ours, but is this the norm? Just wondering if she'll be comfortable with someone else washing her smalls? Shall I say she's free to do her own if she prefers? But must be full loads, not one top Also, can I put an airer in her room for her clothes? We cope with one airer at the moment, but we might struggle with an extra person around?

Toiletries - do I buy, or does she? Or half/half i.e. I supply basic stuff - shampoo/conditioner/shower gel/toothpaste etc? Don't want to start footing the bill for somebody elses designer toiletries, when we use Tesco type varieties (not shops own, but not £10 a bottle variety either).

:O at the dressing gown. When I was an aupair the family gave me a dressing gown for Christmas

When I arrived the family had put a bottle of water and a glass in my room and there was a small bunch of flowers on the table. It was the little things that made a difference to me, that made me feel very welcome.

I do not know what the normal practice is but I bought my own toiletries. The family provided a hairdryer though.

I always tell AP's to do their own washing (just cannot face handling an AP's smalls or - even worse - asking DH to put the washing out!!! Must say though that I wouldn't hesitate in getting AP to do the laundry (if not the ironing).

Re: toiletries I just get Tesco Basics and tell the AP to buy anythign else she wants (same with groceries - I will buy in stuff like crisps and coke, but if she wants loads of junk that we don;t eat then it is on her bill. The only exception has been for stuff that is fundamental to their culture - eg we always bought tons of cooked meats for the AP because that was what Swedish eat for breakfast, couldn't really expect her to tuck into porridge).

First evening give her some hot food, show her the bathroom and leave her to rest/unpack (leave your 'notes' in her bedroom). don't expect to see her until noon the next day...

It will go fine. Once you've been through a couple of them it is water off a duck's back.

Yes, definately let her do her own laundry. My APs always do the kids laundry, I do mine and DH and usually the AP puts hers in with the kids.

I don't buy any toiletries for AP. My AP has to share a bathroom with DC and I expect they help themselves to whatever I buy for the children - I've never said don't touch or help yourself and it's never been a problem.

Re food - I never buy special food for AP and I always tell AP she can eat absoluely anything there is in the house. There is no "ours" and "her" food. I know of one family where the AP was given her own food shelf in the fridge and separate food was brought for her (of an inferior quality)I don't agree with this. I think they should fit it with you and your diet and habits.

On her first night, give her a drink and a sandwich and leave her to it.

All sounds good. Will give her the option with laundry then.

Just writing out my 'house rules' and not sure what to add re holiday pay. Our first aupair is coming on a months trial initially from mid-Nov, until mid-Dec, then going home for Christmas. What would you offer in terms of holiday pay if she/we decide to end things after a month? What if she comes back after Christmas - what do you offer for 6 months?

Hi laura,

How's it going? With the laundry I offer the option of doing it seperate or with the family, there is a pretty laundry bag on the back of her door to keep her stuff in.

Most have chosen to do it with the family as I specify it has to be a full load. I load up the machine and set it up, I then tell them what colour is going on and offer them the choice of adding to it and shutting the door (which turns it on).

We do not have seperate kids/adults washing and do not feel comfortable with an AP handling adults dirty laundry. (One agency listed this as something an AP should not be expected to do along with adults bedlinen change and en-suite cleaning).

No problem with DH hanging out small smalls as he is not involved in any household tasks!

Am just off for yet another realignment meeting, god I'm too soft!

Our ap arrives late on Sunday night. Getting a bit scared now, thinking of things that we're doing, that we might not be able to do when she arrives.

Does everyone still veg around on the sofa on a Sunday morning in their PJ's whilst the kids play on the floor with an ap around?

Hope your meeting went well?

Once AP has a social life you probably won't see her Sunday morning!

Have to say when I was a live-in nanny my bosses did exactly that, and after a few weeks I just stayed in bed! Didn't bother me at all.

Laura,...your AP won't get up before midday!