Nanny, childminder or nursery.

[hermionieweasley]

We are moving to an area without any family near by and looking at child care options for our two sons. DS1 will attend preschool four days a week, and DS2 we can't decide between nursery, a childminder or a nanny. I work four days a week and husband works from home so we are quite flexible.

What are your experiences, please? DS2 will be 18 months. He was born during lockdown and hasn't socialised with, well, anyone really. I, worried it is all going to be very daunting for him.

Thanks

We had a nanny plus daily groups and it really brought my shy DD out of her shell. She's starting nursery soon aged 2.5.

If you think he's likely to find the large groups of other children especially stressful, maybe start with a nanny then move to a childminder?

Is there a big difference in price between any and childminder? I seem to be able to find plenty of childminders with availability but I'm struggling to know where to start with looking for a nanny.

We went with a nanny for that exact reason, DS2 was 4 months old when we went in to the first lockdown. He had barely socialised with any body and I was worried that nursery would be a bit much for him. I'm not opposed to nurseries as DS1 went from 11 months with no issue.

Having a nanny has been a God send during lockdown. DS1 is in reception and it has allowed us to continue to work as we have childcare at home. If DS2 had gone to nursery we'd have been stuck as we don't WFH.

You can find them on childcare.com but yes, generally nannies are the most expensive form of childcare while childminders are generally the cheapest. A nanny where I live is around £10/hour (it's a lot more in many places) compared to a childminder at £4/hour and a nursery at £5/hour.

A childminder is a good middle ground. Nursery may be a little too much to begin with. Even going from childminder to nursery (temporary over first lockdown) was a big adjustment for my sociable, confident DD. A childminder he can form a close bond with, with the benefit of socialising him slightly too. A nanny will be a higher cost but also good as they can take him to groups etc that suit him.
On the other hand, my friend’s little one went straight to nursery and is resilient and brave.

A nanny is the most flexible, personalised, and expensive option. You need to set up as an employer, get liability insurance, and pay pension, tax and NI as well as hire and manage the nanny. All very manageable and there are numerous nanny payroll services, but best to be prepared.

Childminder is usually a little cheaper than nursery. It's more of a home and small group environment but less flexible and probably can't offer as wide a range of activities/trips. You'll have to cover when the CM has holiday for instance, and possibly if she's sick.

Nursery is reliable year round coverage, scale to offer a range of activities, but possibly revolving key workers and the large group setting doesn't suit every child.

You have to balance the personal pros and cons. I've always used (and shared) a nanny and I recommend it if it's in budget.

I chose a childminder. I wanted my DD to be cared for in a family home and have the kind of daytime life she'd had with me. So she would go shopping and socialising with the CM like she would with me. Have meals at a family table. Have a warm and close relationship with one person, not a succession of nursery staff.

It was great. She had a second family and social life. I remember one day we were walking along the street when she was maybe just about three years old, and she pointed to a house and said "My friend Clare lives there". It turned out that Claire was her CM's friend (also a CM) and they'd go there every week for coffee/play, just like her life was when I was a SAHM. For some reason, I just found that lovely. She had her own little daily life.

I used to visit day nurseries in my work life, and they just felt too impersonal, too institutional for me.

We use a lovely small nursery, DD was a lockdown baby but settled instantly. No regrets. It’s very homely and the staff are brilliant.
There were no childminders near us (we looked, but live rurally and the only 2 near us only do school aged). I was so nervous about it as she’d never been left with anyone due to covid. No tears though and she trots in beaming every day. She goes 4 days a week.

I can’t see the point in a nanny for 1 unless you need long hours.

Meant to say, I didn’t like some of the big nurseries we viewed. But ours has max of 6 children in the room and most days there’s 3-4 with 2 staff so they get loads of attention.
They have forest school and loads of outside play as well as beautiful sensory toys, it’s full of beautiful wooden objects with rotating themes and the small rooms are designed like rooms in a house, so very personal.

It all depends what you think will fit your child best, honestly. I picked a nursery because I didnt want her to be the only baby with older toddlers, I wanted her to be with lots of others her age. I also couldn't run the risk of having to stay off if the childminder is ever ill.
I also worked full time and she went at 7 months. I did actually want her to see lots of different staff unlike the pp above (although actually she just had her keyworker every day) because I didn't want her to think of her care giver as 'mummy'. That's ridiculous though
I would advise speaking to a few different settings and getting a gut feel. My reasons for choices will not fit your child. Good luck!

@Tyranttoddler

It all depends what you think will fit your child best, honestly. I picked a nursery because I didnt want her to be the only baby with older toddlers, I wanted her to be with lots of others her age. I also couldn't run the risk of having to stay off if the childminder is ever ill. I also worked full time and she went at 7 months. I did actually want her to see lots of different staff unlike the pp above (although actually she just had her keyworker every day) because I didn't want her to think of her care giver as 'mummy'. That's ridiculous though I would advise speaking to a few different settings and getting a gut feel. My reasons for choices will not fit your child. Good luck!

See I found the opposite. It was my youngest that went to the minder. And she loved being big sister to the toddler in the house. And adored the CM's Big Boy DSes when they came home from school. Having different aged 'faux siblings' was one of the best things about it for her. And i wasn't at all worried about her having another 'mummy'! She didn't, of course. She had a friend/auntie/whatever that she could rely on and feel at home with.

If my CM was ill, she was paired with another CM who would have DD instead. But I don't recall it happening.

Exactly, that's why I said you should choose what fits your child and your family best!

In fact I'm not certain, reading back, what you found from my message that was opposite

If you want your child to socialise a little, I wouldn’t choose a nanny unless she is well established with lots of nanny friends in the area, child groups will take a while to come back and even when they do will have restrictions which make them hard for a toddler (eg can’t move from your seat etc)
We went with a childminder, she only had 2 other children, my son loves going and I trust her like one of the family.
Like others have said it’s a personal choice, I suggest you look around and see what would fit your child best

I prefer nursery because of the reliability, there are lots of different sized ones round here so you might be able to find a small one? I looked at one that only had 6 in the baby room.

I'd seen all the local childminders out and about while I was on maternity leave and none of them appealed

My son is in nursery and loves it. He went in at 11 months. We don't have a lot of family or friends where we live and I wanted him to be around other kids. Our nursery is very small and the staff all know him. He has learnt so much and is really well socialised.
It suits my son as he is very outgoing. I think I would have struggled with the decision if he were more reserved.

I also grew up with nannies. I got so attached to them and they'd leave. I think I was actually closer to my nannies than my parents and I didn't want that for my son. That might just be my parents though!

Not an easy choice.

As most things are closed I dont see how a nanny is going to increase your child's socialisation as instead of you and baby its nanny and baby. If dad is working from home it could be hard as baby may keep crying for him.

@Tyranttoddler
Its sad you worried about your lo mixing a childminder up with mummy, although I think lots of parents fear this. They never do they always know who their parents and families are. A close bond with a consistent caregiver is so important for young children its sad parents fear it.

That was just a joke really! Don't worry, it's not sad, she adores the staff at nursery and I do allow her to have a relationship with other adults

@avidteadrinker

If you want your child to socialise a little, I wouldn’t choose a nanny unless she is well established with lots of nanny friends in the area, child groups will take a while to come back and even when they do will have restrictions which make them hard for a toddler (eg can’t move from your seat etc) We went with a childminder, she only had 2 other children, my son loves going and I trust her like one of the family. Like others have said it’s a personal choice, I suggest you look around and see what would fit your child best

Nanny share is also an option if you want to have built in pseudosiblings. I won't say it's always easy to find or manage the right share but it does add socialisation to a nanny arrangement alongside reducing the cost, while still giving nanny personalisation and benefits.

Most nannies are very sociable and want to go out and meet friends /got to parks /farms etx

As you have 2 children a nanny is more cost effective plus they will be able to pick up from pre school then school

The cm may not be able to or you will have to pay for a space while he is at present school

What hours does eldest do

I have used both a nursery and childminder. My eldest childminder was useless so we placed him in a nursery that was excellent. My younger 2 kids went too a different childminder who is absolutely fantastic. My youngest is only 18 months so in a similar situation Covid wise. He has definitely been brought on going too a childminder. I think you need too factor in if there are any toddler groups open for a nanny too take your the youngest too if you do go that route. If not how does a nanny plan too socialise your little one?

@Blondeshavemorefun
Nanny's cant go to any of these things during covid and many groups won't open for a long time there's also a big difference between meeting up outside in parks and learning cooperative play sharing turn taking and taking part in group stories and activities.

Our nanny is bloody amazing - our first went to nursery and I can really see the difference it has made not sending number 2 - she adores the nanny and is looked after at home with all her toys. And so convenient for us. But you pay for it, not only the hourly rate but pension, NI etc.

Outside will be open and as summer/nice weather

We spent time outdoor when can

Agree sadly no playgroups or music classes etx

But many do zoom. Not the same but better then nothing

I still think with a 3/4 at pre school and younger children a nanny is better

You would have to find a CM who 1) had 2 spaces 2) picked up from your pre school 3) will pick up from school when goes

Maybe be easy if school by pre school /linked

May not