Anxious about my child going to childcare full time

[firsttimebabymama2020]

My baby will be 12 months when he goes to a childminder 5 days a week which I know is fairly normal but I feel sad and worried that he'll be too little to be away from me for so long and that it will affect our bond etc. How have others found it please? We want to try for a sibling whilst I still have age on my side so 5 days is sensible in that respect but I keep wondering if I should hold off and try and do 4 days only if that would make a difference to my 1 year old. The thought of leaving him is already making me feel anxious.

If you're not needing it for work I'd suggest maybe have him in mon tues Thursday and fri. You get a "mummy day" in the middle then to break it up.
I remember my mum did this when we started pre school. Me and my sister had a different day off so it was special to us

On a reassuring note, there are plenty at 12months who do, though it could help to build things up over a month gradually to help both you and your baby to transition to the 5days

If you're able to, I'd definitely do just four days.

I think, if you don't need it for work, then 4 days would be fine! I know not all families are the same, but I found two little ones at home perfectly doable for three days a week, (as we only sent dc1 to nursery two days). No family help at all, but I wasn't working.

I’m sure it won’t damage his bond with you. If you did 4 days you could have a really nice quality time day with him midweek and you would still get the opportunity to go swimming or to groups etc.

Can you afford to do four days instead? I’ve actually just gone up to four days after being made redundant from my 3 day a week job and I’m struggling with the extra day, three days was perfect and I didn’t have Mum guilt. I do a little now sadly. I know that won’t help you but you don’t get this time back when they are so little, I think it’s important to have at least one week day off with them.

My first DD went to nursery five days from
9 months as I returned to work full time.

DD wasn't damaged, our bond was fine, and I could relax and enjoy my work knowing she was safe and happy. She did full time nursery until I had her baby brother, then we dropped her days and she had a final 4 weeks off before starting reception.

I received some pretty nasty comments from some women I'd been friendly with on mat leave, even though my decision was none of their business. That was a shock to me. I always say you have to make the decision that works best for your own family and make peace with it. I don't judge women who give up work, so it was pretty horrible to be judged for going back to work full time.

I have cared for small children full time for years. Please don't worry about your bond. The children in my care have loved playing with friends, but all always excited to see their parents.

I also work full time and have dc in nursery full time. I always think remember that love is not finite - the more loving relationships your child has, the better. The more they bond with other people, then amazing. You can flip the worry about a diminished bind with you on its head - your bond will only grow, but you can add multiple branches to it

Your bond won't be damaged your lo will still love you just as much and no body will ever 5ake that special place you hold. If you can do 4 days it will be lovely as you get a good balance and can do things like take him to groups when they open making new friends. Id say have Monday or Friday as it gives more scope for what you can do over a weekend and lo will be fine.

I used to be a childminder. Your bond with your child is already so strong that being with a childminder won't weaken it at all. Even the youngest children instinctively know the difference between their childminder and parents. Your child will hopefully love their time with the childminder and feel nurtured there but they will always have a stronger bond with their mum.

If you can do 4 days though do. I think you will value and feel much happier having that extra day with your child.