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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au Pairs & Sick Pay

27 replies

ingles2 · 30/10/2007 14:08

Just wondering what the general consensus was on paying AP's pocket money on days they have taken off sick...?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ScaryScienceT · 30/10/2007 14:10

I think it's fine to dock pay, but would give them the option of making up the time.

nannynick · 30/10/2007 18:40

Agree with ScienceT... pro-rata pocket money based on their actual working week. They are still getting accommodation, food, plus you may even be paying for their medication.

You should treat au-pairs as part of your family, so they will be getting the care required, but not wages.

Original poster

ingles2 · 30/10/2007 20:17

Thanks Guys was just wondering...This AP is off with a diaorrhea, she is ill, I think she's eaten something dodgy at her AP friends house, but I have a feeling she might be prone to illness which is a nightmare as I'm a freelancer!

OP posts:

Pollyanna · 30/10/2007 20:42

I still pay mine if she is sick or has an extra day off. If it was a long time or i had to pay someone else instead, then I might not pay her, but I take the view that she is a member of my family and not an employee. (I also expect, ocassionally, extra hours here and there if necessary)

feelingfedup · 30/10/2007 22:45

No, they are not employees - no sick pay, but would make sure they are registered with doctor and would take them if they needed it.

Would def offer opportunity to make up time if possible.

Original poster

ingles2 · 31/10/2007 21:09

Okay,...So you can all tell me I'm being unreasonable now, I'm sure I am, but I'm just so fed up!.
AP still off sick, dr says food poisoning,...sure enough it's the uncooked meat at the friends house which she knew was a problem! So obviously I need to talk to her about food safety, but also she is still taking it easy, BUT planning to have a day off on Friday to have a long weekend away. She has no idea what a nightmare she has caused me this week...I've cancelled 2 days of meetings, pissed of 1/2 dozen clients for changing appts, ferried my kids out to friends today as well as trying to do my job and all the cleaning, etc. but I can guarantee she be fine to go away on Friday.
I feel I need to talk to her about this but How? Every time I try and broach a subject ( any subject) she bursts into tears..this is seriously wearing me down. Advice please...pretty please

OP posts:

ExplosiveScienceT · 31/10/2007 21:15

Can you agree a minimum that she needs to do - eg pick up the children from school, but no need to do housework, and you can leave food for them rather than have her cook?

Original poster

ingles2 · 31/10/2007 21:20

Do you mean whilst she's still ill?...Oh no All I asked her to do today was walk the dog for 1/2 hour I thought the fresh air would do her good...but she's too weak for that!!!!!!!!!! I guess the problem is that I'm resentful that shes still taking it easy, preparing herself to go away, whilst I run around like an idiot!

OP posts:

Original poster

ingles2 · 31/10/2007 21:26

By the way any particular reason why you're explosive today?

OP posts:

cloudberry · 01/11/2007 19:51

Hi Ingles, don't know about sick pay as that's not something I've encountered yet, but selfishly it's useful to read about your dilemma as it's good to be prepared. Off the top of my head I think for me it would depend on how I was finding the ap working out. Probably if our really good German ap had been sick we wouldn't have even thought about not paying her for the time off as she was just so good, efficient etc and she wouldn't have taken the piss. Our last one however did try it on a bit one day and while she was "ill" enough to be sent back upstairs for breakfast as my patience ran out, she was however well to go to school. I sent her off with paracetamol and heard no more about it, and then she left the next day!

Poor you, God I know the feeling of running around like a blue arsed fly seething with resentment ...! Again the last ap turned on the tears every time I tried to talk to her and for me it was the last straw as I couldn't cope with having to walk on eggshells on top of the other aggro. I also feel it's pretty manipulative and frankly who has time for that? Sorry, rather negative and I hope that another day on it has sorted itself out more or less.

On a completely different note, our new ap is arriving on Tuesday - hurray, can't wait!!

laura032004 · 01/11/2007 21:08

[thread hijack]

cloudberry - can I ask whereabouts in the country you live? You sound like someone I met once. Probably going mad though

Original poster

ingles2 · 01/11/2007 21:26

Hi Cloud...I did it...I spoke with her and she didn't cry!!!and I feel ok!!!! Hooray!!!!
As she is doing NVQ, all incidents, illness, accidents have to be recorded which gave me a good starting point, had a long chat on food safety and threw in the " you do realise how difficult this has been for me!..Also got around the crap cleaning particularly in the kitchen! So all's well...
So Tuesdays the big day....Are you ready? Fingers Crossed for you...you've got to let me know what shes like.
p.s...my friend was late for work with my dh today as she had to escort AP from house for stealing See...we haven't got it that bad!

OP posts:

Nightynight · 01/11/2007 21:57

It honestly has never occurred to me to dock pay. I have only had the odd sick day though, although the last one was def made up, she was not really sick.

If its only the odd day, the amount of resentment it will cause isnt worth the money you'll save, and if it's longer, then I am afraid I would send the AP home, because I couldn't manage longer than a week or so.

cloudberry · 01/11/2007 23:37

Ingles, what a relief and well done!! I might need some lessons from you in how to have a pep talk with the ap! Fingers crossed for you too that this is just a little blip.

No I'm not ready but now we've got the date I need to concentrate!! Nothing like a deadline to get one galvanised .... God I sound like my mother what a horror.

Laura we live north of Oxford.

laura032004 · 02/11/2007 07:24

CB - you're not who I thought you were then. Just that this person has DC of the same age and sex, and also writes an advertising magazine. Must be your doppelganger (sp?)

Well, our ap is coming on the 18th Can we set up a preparations for imminent arrival of an ap thread?

Working through lots of past threads to create my house rules.

ingles - stealing That's scary!

cloudberry · 02/11/2007 10:04

Laura now I'm curious. Where is this person based?

StarryStarryNight · 02/11/2007 10:17

Cloudberry sorry hijack - love your name.

I used to go cloudberry picking as a child. We made cloudberry compot, mixed gently with whipped cream, and used it as a filling in small tubular cakes for Christmas.

Seeing your name brought back lots of nice memories!

laura032004 · 02/11/2007 10:25

CB - Portsmouth

SSN - sounds lovely. I've never heard of them.

StarryStarryNight · 02/11/2007 10:39

Laura, they are very rare, they grow only in swamp like highland regions in north norway, north finland and russia, and are also found on some remote uninhabited islands off the north norwegian coast.....

They are unlike anything you have ever tasted. And they dont come in a tin!

alyblackcat · 02/11/2007 12:09

talking of 'talks' whith the APs, I'm just about to have my 3rd of the week.

Deep breath....

jura · 02/11/2007 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cloudberry · 02/11/2007 14:12

Now you're talking about the fruit I do remember hearing about them but I've never seen them let alone eaten them! My Cloudberry was taken from the books "The Little Grey Men"and "Down the Bright Stream" by BB which my father used to read to us when we were children. He had been taught art I think by BB when he was at school(my father would have been 86 this year). SST where did you grow up if they grow in such remote areas? Your memories sound wonderfully peaceful

alyblackcat · 02/11/2007 14:20

The little grey men, one of my alltime fave books. Frogskin coracle, sigh....

cloudberry · 02/11/2007 14:33

aly how has your talk gone?

alyblackcat · 02/11/2007 15:20

CB, erm ...well, not good I think. TBH I am wasting my breath, either an AP is right or they aren't (or they aren't quite right and they try hard to be helpful at least!). She is very serious and doesn't smile which the children find offputting - she says she's happy, but she reposted her profile on the AP site 2 weeks after arriving!

I have got into the kind of micromanagement mentioned on the untidy nanny thread, it's is taking up lots of time to complie lists and timetables of things she should/shouldn't do. Like We must wrap the open cheese in cling film (large block of cheese in bin after her cooking her own tea last night- I suppose I could have cut the crusts off, but I was cross) before putting it in fridge - actually put wrapped cheese in fridge would be a dammned good start.

It is getting on my nerves, I find I'm being snappy with the DCs because I am cross with her. Not good all reound.

Looking forward to yours arriving cloud?

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