Au Pair babysitting for other families

[ScaryScaryNightingale]

My au pair has started doing baby sitting for other families for extra cash. It started when another mum in my sons school commented she had a hard time finding somebody to babysit just two hours when she goes to school governors meetings in the middle of the day now and then (usually around 10 am). I suggested she talks to my au pair as she is free around that sort of time.

As an exception I let her leave 15.45 today, as it is half term, to baby sit at this family from 16.16 to 18.15 today, as she has been with my kids the whole day as I work.

She is now beginning to arrange evening babysitting, too.

According to our arrangement, she is with me till 7pm. But now she is starting to ask to leave at 6pm, to be with someone else for 7.

I think this is taking the piss. I have an aupair because I need one.

I am paying her more for this week as my husband is away for business and it is half term, though in real terms she is not doing more than usual, as I am taking time off, and I am taking my kids places (aside from today). I think it is under the circumstances not good if I pay her more for more help, and she asks to leave earlier to work elsewhere?

What do you think? How should I best handle this without alienating her?

Your agreement with her when she started with you was that she worked until 7pm, so I feel she has to commit to that and take work starting once she has finished her day with you. While she can ask you if she can leave early occasionally, I certainly don't feel that she can expect you to say Yes every time she asks.

I always thought host family had first shout on babysitting? I do.

Hi...I think your DAP is taking the pee..but then so are the other families! I let my AP do other jobs but not without my say so and I must be scary too because the mums usually ask me first!
Can I add a little hijack whilst there are other AP families around...How do you all get on with AP disciplining your kids?

Oh by the way Scary I would say...
I've got no problems with you doing babysitting for ...... but can you make sure it starts after 7 because it's really difficult for me to finish work before then or you can ask.........to give me a ring so we can arrange it for you.

ingles, what is your discipline issue?

Having a little trouble with that one at the mo, in a minor way. My DCs have very good manners, I am obsessed with them!

My DS is just 3 but has SN (think Downs Syndrome type affectionate, happy, eager to please but a bit wobbly on the pins and floppy - you've got him) he has only recently learnt to talk but one of first few words was "thank you" (and "bless you" when anyone sneezes of coughs) my SIL today commented on how polite he was compared to an average young child (Reception teacher).

Anyway several times now I have caught her having a serious tug-of-war type thing with DS over toys. I asked what was going on and she said, "He didn't say thank you" I replied "Well you haven't given it to him yet" Then explained that she should hand over the X as he now thinks this tussle is fun/frustrating, if no 'thank you' forthcoming prompt him with a "what do you say?" or actually say "thank you" to get him to mimic.

Also he didn't want his teath brushed this a.m., she tried until he cried. She's only been here 2.5 weeks and he doesn't like her - keeps crying "NO" and clinging to me when she is in trying to look after him - and I can see why (not overly keen myself she is a very dour person, with little iniative) Yes he sometimes cries when I do it, but I'm his mother and not trying to build a relationship with him.

Her days are numbered methinks.

teeth

Do you really need her till 7pm, or is it a luxury for you?

If you need her, then stand your ground as that is what you arranged up front - make sure you really use her at this time and get value from her. If, however, you just put it there as a safety net, and you can survive without it, then let her go and make extra money. Perhaps compromise to 6.30pm,

The more I think about this the more I think other families are taking the piss...let them get their own AP! I don't know,...all the benefits of ours with the cons me thinks!
Talking of cons...
On the discipline side just had an incident with ds1 and AP involving putting scaletrix track on dinner table (!), her helping him without clearing it first, followed by mass breakage of my best jug (Cheap but gorgeous pressie), and some glasses! Water and glass everywhere! Followed by AP in tears saying DC never do what she tells them....
OH FFS!!!!!! I've nearly had enough....

Oh ingles, what a pain.

Sometimes they are more trouble than they are worth.

when I had an au pair the deal was that they were free to babysit, but I got first dibs with an agreement that no more than two weekend nights in the month. I also asked that if any other families wanted her to babysit, they do it via me.

Say no, you need her to work her hours.

She has 2 choices.

I think that's the answer Scary...All babysitting must go via you...that way you decide instead of being backed into a corner and made to feel guilty...
Aly..I'm starting a thread on discipline cos I feel bad hijacking SSnightingales...

Hi,
I did talk to her. She is arranging so she can leave the house at 7.15 on the days she has babysitting elsewhere.

I have no issue with her babysitting, as long as it doesnt collide.

Usually, I am flexible, and always let her leave early if convenient. But at the moment my husband is away on business until mid november, her staying till seven is nice, but not vital. I just dont want her to get used to leaving early each time she wants to earn extra cash.

Alycat, that does not sound ideal at all. Why fight with such a young child?