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CM CLUB -Feel like I am failing - words of encouragement/ advice needed please!

7 replies

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2007 12:16

I've had mindee for nearly 6mths now at the very start he was a pleasant child (he was 23mths old) he has always had a habit of spitting his food out and throwing it. Over the months he has started hitting, spitting (including in my dd1's face ) haior pulling, climbing out of cot, running off (if given half a chance) - ok so most of this is normal behaviour and they all have phases when they do this i accept that. It's getting to the point where he has made progress every now and again and then slipped again. I use time out for alot of the behaviour, with spitting I wipe his face and say no and when he spits his food out i take the plate away and he gets nothing else.I praise him for every thing he does right and encourage good behaviour with stickers, cuddles etc.

I'm just getting to my wits end now. I thought that with being consistant and with him being here full time I would be able to stamp this behaviour out but I can't and it makes me feel like I am failing.

He refuses to eat alot of the food i prepare and almost always throws it on the floor so i tried giving him thigns he likes now he won't even eat that so i've tried not worrying about what he does and doesnt like and just feeding him the same as the rest of us but that results in even more mess.

I've spoken with his parents and have suggested HV does a home visit, mum says she has phoned but no visit yet this was 2 weeks ago.

What can I do? I'm really trying my best here. He has just had dinner it has taken me 30 minutes to encourage him to eat a tiny tiny piece of carrot and half a cheese sandwich. I am exhausted but feel that it's my job to make sure he is getting what he needs. He missed breakfast as he chewed it and spat it out so I binned it so couldn't let him miss lunch too as his mum would have been happy.

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LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2007 12:19

mum wouldnt have been happy.

I should also add some positive stuff in that he has a lovely nature and is very cuddly and can be cure. It's the behaviour I dislike not mindee himself.

Even some reassurance he will grow out of it would help?

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LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2007 12:20

cute god can you tell i've had a morning of it! lol

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Megsdaughter · 16/10/2007 12:39

My new one is was doing the same, I found if i just put one small piece of sandwich on is tray a a time he would eat it, literally just the size that he can put the whole bit in his mouth, when he is eating that ok, after a few days put two bits on and so on, for the first time today mine ate the lot!

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2007 12:45

I've been trying that type of thing - the other day I put veg into a bowl (tiny bowl) and just gave him that thinking even if he ate 2 peas it would be better than ignoring them on hnis plate - nope he threw the lot all over the floor. Today I tried salad on a plate would eat any of it just sat picking it to bits all over the floor so i tried 1 bit of carrot so tiny and he threw it on the floor so i gave him another peice and so on until he ate it with lots os encouragement and praise then i gave gim a bit of cheese sandwich which he ate ok apart from crusts then i gave him some pear which he loves.

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Megsdaughter · 16/10/2007 12:53

Dont give him a plate, I just put 1 pice of veg that he can put wh into his mouth, or one piece of pasta, if he throws it pick it up an put it back, dont say anything and praise the others for eating.

MaureenMLove · 16/10/2007 12:57

How about getting him to choose from a number of things himself? Make a game of it. Get out a selection of things that are acceptable for lunch and them get him to choose. Maybe he could arrange it on the plate or make the sandwich etc. Use things like, 'mummy will be so proud of you' and 'I can't believe you can do that, thats fantastic', you know the sort.

You could even, if you've got the time and not too many others, get him to draw a picture shopping list an take him to the shops to get the stuff himself. Give him a basket and let him pay the lady too.

LoveMyGirls · 16/10/2007 13:41

Tbvh I don't really want to encourage choosing themselves as then I will have between 2 and 6 kids choosing their own meals and I can't let 1 do it without the others wanting to.

Shopping we could do but he has helped before give lady money for bread etc and it makes no odds. I don't think he links it with eating it, he doesn't link words with actions very well.

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