Police checking au pairs with out agency??

[granarybeck]

We have interviewed an au pair today, seemed very nice. I am just having a dilemma as I don't know how to obtain police checks (or equivalent) as not going through an agency. Do CRB checks not take about 12 weeks, and do they cover outside UK anyway?

I know I am thinking more about this as it is a male au pair, which I know is extremely bad of me. He seemed very kind, he is 25 which again for absolutely no justifiable reason makes me think I should have checks etc more than if he was 19. I think I am fretting more as actually feel so guilty for even having these thoughts. I think it was just the reality of meeting someone in person that I would be leaving my dcs (and sharing the house with) that I didn't know anything about.

I would really appreciate any advice or opinions please.

A while back I posted a link to a private co who where recommended for checking out APs by APUK.com.

I'll have a look....

here it is

"Under the current system it is not possible as a domestic employer to CRB check an au pair unless you go via an agency." by islandofsodor.

absolutely right. private individuals are not yet permitted to get the required level of disclosure, but apparently this will change in the future.

Thanks Alycat and Bossykate, looks like could be tricky. I think I may resort to the agency for this first time.

hold up! i have gone ahead without one imho, if you have a teenage/early 20s AP and their CV checks out with no gaps and they can provide checkable refs which you follow up, how likely is it that they will have a criminal record? food for though.

food for thought even.

Hi BK...have to admit I've not been brave enough to try without an agency and I get put off by trawling through aupair world etc. etc. I know a lot more now,...so might attempt it. Granary..It might make things easier the 1st time..but you have got Mumsnetters!
By the way,...AP brought me flowers to say sorry this afternoon!

I've used internet AP sites for my last 2, before word of mouth/recommendation.

Have not used a crb check either, as like BK, as long as CV and referees check out I don't get too hung up about it.

Granary, anything is poss with the aid of Mumsnetters! Trawl this section, various threads on APs - it's like an employment handbook! (or idiots guide iykwim)

alycat...have you ever had a romanian AP? If so what did you think?

No, sorry..Czech, Slovak x 2, Hungarian, Finnish and now French.

I've never (knowingly) met a Romanian AP as mine have tended to hang around their own nationalities from language school.

Any preference?

I lived and worked in Romania for four years and the DDs lived there until they were 3 yrs and 6 months. We had a Romanian nanny, who was fabulous - good English and Montessori trained. When we moved to Brussels we had a Romanian au pair for a year. Although she was a bit dippy, the girls loved her, and she was a hard worker.

But a bit of background:

Romania is still like a third world country in some places - there are entire villages with no running water - a stand pipe for about 300 people is not unusual, and often no electricity either. Salaries are really low - a trained accountant probably gets no more than around 500-700 euros per month. So they may well look on the UK as the land of milk and honey. (And I know my au pair used to send most of her salary home to help out.)

The work ethic there is not great - it is very Latin, and I found that the Romanians I worked with were all too happy to let someone else (ie western consultants) do the work, and not put in the effort themselves (or bother to learn how to do it). The Romanian team I worked with refused point blank to visit any projects aimed at helping the Roma (which was quite a lot of them) and homosexuals. The prejudice against Roma is huge.

So, it's not really a great surprise to see that this comes across in the UK when they pitch up as au pairs. Many of them that I met seemed very cosseted by their parents and never lifted a finger in the home, even when they are in their 20s and 30s - indeed they are quite affronted when you suggest they might help (eg the deputy in my office expected her mother to cook her and her husband's dinner every evening and do all their washing and ironing!). Cleaning and so on is seen as "women's work" by some (lots) of sexist Romanian men. One man I interviewed for a job told me quite bluntly that I needed a man for the job - a woman would not be able to do it. He seemed quite surprised to find out that I headed up the office and would have been his boss - he thought that I was "one of the secretaries having a chat with him before the proper interview."

One of my (despairing) American colleagues said in a fit of temper one day that he thought the Romanians were a mix of "Latin laziness and Slav intractability." I don't like stereotyping, but did feel he had a point...

I've worked in Poland and have employed Slovak au pairs as well, and have to say, didn't experience this "the world owes me a living" (a bit like the yoof of today in UK?!) with either nationality.

Good post Mrs SF and very interesting. Have to say I've been gobsmacked by the discriminatory (is that spelt right?) comments that I've heard from the R AP'S...My F R AP managed to insult ethnic min., homosexuals and women in the 1st day!!!!

When I arrived there, my deputy (the only other woman in the office) used to make the coffee for everyone - ie all the men who were subordinate to her. There was huge resentment from them when I suggested that the most junior of them might make the coffee - grumblings that men shouldn't do women's work. I was also surprised that my (normally feisty) deputy hadn't refused to make the coffee - she had just got on with it.

am not surprised,..domineering men can be pretty intimidating! So have you any tips on finding a great au pair?

ingles2,

Yes I do! My 1st choice would be Slovak. My best AP ever, who is a trained nursery school teacher is now no longer my AP as she has become DS'(who has SN)PT LSA at his school so can no longer work enough hours in my home, she also works 2 shifts at a Montessori.

She is part of a couple, wow those Slovak men can work! Painting, gardening, maintenence etc I have been very lucky, all I have met have had a very 'can do' attitude. BUT still a very male dominated culture.

(I suppose joint would be a Czech that was with us (but lived out) for 1 yr, I've never met such a hard worker with cleaning and ironing - but not as fab at instigating play with DS.)

My 2nd best AP was my (this) Summer AP a 17 yr old Finn. I thought she would be too young to be of any real use, but great and the DCs loved her and miss her terribly.

My French (current) Ap is the worst of the lot, her days may be numbered!

We have a Romanian au pair (19) and so far she has been really good - we pay her well but she adores my 9 month old son and although had a slow start with my DD who is 3 they now get on brilliantly. She also does housework to a very good standard. She does have moments of bluntness and mooody times but I think that is to be expected when they are young and away from home. We do all we can to make her feel happy and welcome and not like a slave. She came from a MN recommendation as her cousins also work here so I didn't do any checks.

I've just spoken to a Turkish girl on the phone. Anyone had Turkish au pairs?

She seemed nice. I find it is so hard over the phone as though her English is okay, over the phone it seems to make understandin much harder.

If it is of any help to anyone, if the au-pair has been in the UK for 6 months or longer, then getting a CRB check is possible (if a bit tricky) - though will only list things known in this country, not in their home country.

Nanny-Check I think could arrange a CRB check, as part of their Standard Report. Someone at Nanny-Check sometimes posts on here, so perhaps they may come on to confirm if this is, or isn't possible for an au-pair who has been in this country for 6 months+.

Our foreign au pairs were all told to bring a police statement saying they had no record, with a sworn translation. CRB check waste of time if they haven't been in this country.

My Romanian au pair used to fold the towels beautifully. We have never had such an immaculate airing cupboard.

But best au pairs I've had have been Slovak.

MrsRecycle I'm v impressed with your approach!
Do you do any police checks, if so how?

Can i just say I have a romanian nanny, she has never played up about money, or being treated like a slave etc. She does work hard, looks after the house, and cooks DD lovely meals, (although they are in the most enormous quantities you've ever seen)