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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Age Discrimination!

13 replies

elcoucho · 24/09/2020 08:49

I’ve been working as a nanny-governess for 14 years, currently abroad but want to return to the UK. I’m applying for jobs but I’m the victim of age discrimination! It’s not my imagination; the application goes well until they find out how old I am, suddenly interviews are cancelled, calls are not returned, I even had one PA put down the phone in mid-conversation after asking my age. I have removed dates of qualifications from my CV to disguise my age, but nanny recruitment agencies insist on me putting them back. They often include phrases like ‘ideally 25-35' or ‘must be young and dynamic’ in job adverts, but I have been told that discrimination is allowed because I would be working in a private household. Ten years ago, agencies were headhunting me for jobs, now that I have more experience, they are not putting me forward for vacant positions. No-one gets to choose the age of their children’s nursery workers or primary school teachers because age is not relevant to the job, but parents seem to think this is more important than qualifications, experience, fantastic references and a warm personality. Physically, I am fit and healthy, active and take regular exercise, I am not overweight, and a non-smoker. My job can be physically demanding: giving piggy-backs, practising football in the park, crawling around on the floor, etc but I know that I could do it in any new role, because I am already doing it! There is no guarantee that younger candidates will not get sick or have an accident, because this has nothing to do with age. I am mentally still ‘on the ball’, enthusiastic and proactive, always open to learning new ideas and developing myself professionally. This is my career and I had hoped to do this until I reach state retirement age. I can pass for a younger person and people are often surprised to find out my real age. Should I lie about my age until after the interview or refuse to answer the question and risk sounding like an awkward old lady?

OP posts:
nannynick · 24/09/2020 10:52

I'm mid 40's. I find gender is more of an issue for me... parents think nanny and they think women. Yes some parents will want someone young, some parents want someone with experience, someone young may have some experience someone older may have a lot of experience. It really comes down to the right fit between the employer and the applicant.

Maybe you need to look at different types of position as you seem to be dealing with gatekeepers rather than the end employer. Have you had much contact with parents directly, not via an agency or a PA?

nannynick · 24/09/2020 10:53

I'm beginning to not pass for a younger person any more... my hair is more grey than brown and in playgrounds other parents/carers have referred to me as grandpa Grin

chocchipbrioche · 24/09/2020 13:21

Hi there,
This is something I'm becoming more worried about as I get older. I'm mid 40's now and this is my career. I have no intention , or want , to do anything else and have worked hard all these years to build up a great cv and fabulous references. I would hope bringing that to the table would work in my favour. I've stayed with each family for an average of 6 years, sometimes more and I'm still in contact with most of them.
I would think that any family hiring a nanny would like to have an experienced older nanny who comes with glowing references (something you can only build up with time) instead of hiring a younger nanny who may leave to have her own kids, may want to leave to travel, leave to get married and maybe move for their partners work etc. Not that older nannies might want to do that too but I've found amongst my older friends that by this age we tend to be more settled. I remember how hard it was getting my first few nanny jobs straight out of college no experience and a flimsy cv and parents would always say at interviews that they were looking for experience.
I've only had one negative experience with an agency who told me I should start looking into being a maternity nurse, because no one would want to hire an older nanny ??? I have no interest in being a maternity nurse.
I also have nanny friends who are in their 50's and 60's.
I would be interested to hear other nannies experiences and whether location is relevant, I'm in London.

elcoucho · 24/09/2020 20:58

I feel your pain @nannynick, have you tried re-branding yourself as a 'governor/home tutor', this somehow seems to be more acceptable to families than 'manny'?

OP posts:
thanksitsgotpockets1 · 25/09/2020 07:31

This is my fear as I head into my40s. It seems there’s such a small window for a nanny to have optimum experience and energy before being Perceive as “too old”

I also think the market is flooded with younger inexperienced nannies and an influx of agencies cropping up all the time.

Good luck x

Piglet89 · 11/11/2020 21:51

@nannynick you’re a man?! I’ve seen you give fantastic advice these threads (much of which I drew upon when hiring our first nanny) and always assumed you were a woman, because of the very prejudice you describe.

Piglet89 · 11/11/2020 21:53

BTW our nanny is late 40s, a career childcarer and wonderful. I was always clear about the fact I wanted to hire someone who had life and solid work experience, because my own nanny as a child was an older lady. Our nanny is completely reliable and wonderful with our son and we haven’t regretted the choice at all.

bumblenbean · 11/11/2020 22:16

That’s really sad to read OP, sorry you’re experiencing this. Our nanny is 40 and is wonderful. The age of the candidates we interviewed was totally irrelevant - as nannynick said it’s all about the right fit with the family.

It sounds like a direct approach might be better, rather than through agencies? Can you advertise your services somewhere like childcare.co.uk and just be up front about your level of experience? Most people will be able to work our your general age bracket from the time you’ve been working - I’d say it’s much better to be upfront than try to mislead or ‘disguise’ anything.

Good luck, hope you find a lovely family soon!

emmakavanagh · 12/11/2020 18:07

I own Mum's the Word nanny agency and we do not discriminate.
Although occasionally we have had the odd client requesting a certain age, nationality, sex, weight and even colour!
This is something we just will not tolerate.

Your age should never be included in your cv.
With your experience you should be snapped up!

Marylou62 · 13/11/2020 21:14

I'm a nanny in Cornwall and in my late 50's..Yes it's harder for me to get up off the floor but I manage ok!! I think I offer stability as I'm settled and have adult children myself..I hope I'm here till I retire!

bumblenbean · 14/11/2020 20:15

@emmakavanagh our nanny was through Mum’s the Word Smile

nancybotwinbloom · 14/11/2020 20:16

If I could afford a nanny and needed one, I have to honestly say for me, I'd prefer someone older.

As on more experience.

Sex wouldn't come into it for me.

nbee84 · 01/12/2020 21:36

I'm a nanny in my 50's and so far it's been a plus point rather than a hindrance.

*I have my own grown up children so have 1st hand experience of being a parent.
*I have over 30 years of experience with a wide range of ages
*It's my career, so I'm not likely to hand in my notice after a short period to do something different.
*I'm not going to get pregnant and go on maternity leave.
*I exercise for 8-10 hours a week and could outrun most younger nannies Grin so certainly no issues with keeping up with the kids and sports.

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