CM CLUB: Got a bit of a prob..can you help?

[MissInvisible]

one of my after schooly mindees has told her mum over the weekend that she doesnt want to come to my house any mroe..she hasnt specified but said she just doesnt want to and when mum called her bluff and said shed tell me she said 'ok'

now this little girl is dd's friends, she comes to play when im not minding her and is lovely(she just turned 5 BTW)

she has been most unwellr eently, contant cold.sores on nose, totally out of sorts for about 4-5 weeks now, doc says just a cold, but you can tell shes very run down with it.

I have also taken on two other after schoolys who this girl gets on with..BUT..i personally think cos she is used to more attention when it was just the three of them(or 2, when i wasnt working and she came to play with dd), now i have more, i think she feels like she should be getting the same amount of attention, but thats impossible.

she doesnt get left out, shes quite forward and by no means ignored, its just we do things together as 5/6 group now in stead of 3/4.

Also her younger sister(baby) only comes to me ad hoc and instead go's to family most of time, mindee loves this particular aunty who has her sis(even tells her mum and dad shes kleaving to go live with her!), so it may be that as well, combined with she woul only be one of two at her aunty's not one of 5/6.

Sooo, what do you suggest?, has this happend to you?, what did you do?

I have reasured her mum(shes very worried what with constant cold as well) that i will inadvertantly let her dd make more choices and start a rota of each of them choosing what activity we do each day(starting with her, incase she is feeling left out), try and spend a bit more time with her while the others play and try and give her as much 'me' time as i can but obv thats not easy having 5/6 children there.

so, i need ideas please as she's lovely and i dont like her to be sad and i dont like to see mum worrying

TIA

Miss Invisible, this is quite a tricky one.

IME they all go through the 'I don't want to go there' phase.

You are probably right in that she 'prefers' to go to her special auntie, possibly because of not having to share/play nicely/follow your house rules (which we CMs must have to ensure sanity !).

You have used this as an opportunity to review your practices, which is always a Good Thing, well done.

This phase will pass, I promise, it will just be a very short time until she is skipping up your path bursting to get on with the activities you have planned

HTH

Thanks Ju, ive not noticed her be unhappy here?, she is quiter lately but as i say she is unwell
thinking about it now, i also think she doesnt like sharing dd and not being able to boss her about as much cos dd will go play with one of the others?, maybe its cos shes not getting her own way with her anymore?, kids eh
we try and do everything on a rota(who opens the gate, who closes the gate, who plays on the comuter first) it all seems very important to them, so i go with the flow, maybe she doesnt like to wait as long for her turn?, must be hard as she recently aquired a baby sister too, bless

Aw it's hard for them eh?

Good luck

PS flapjacks in Staffroom