Childminder/nursery/nanny...help!

[Rosecottage888]

Currently on mat leave with 9 week old DS. I will need to return to work in March when he will be 8 months and we are starting to look at options now but I have no idea which service would be best for his age!

Please could anyone help with what was best for your little ones when you went back to work? We would need an 8-6 type arrangement for 4 days as my mum will be able to have him one day a week.

Thanks in advance

It all depends on budget. We’ve used all three; nanny most expensive but she wasn’t very proactive with him; childminder from 18 months and now a Pre school at 3. They all have merits and disadvantages. The big plus for nanny was not having to get the baby ready and bundle him into the car!

I loved using a childminder when I went back to work when my DD was 11 months; it was lovely calm environment and she used to take her and the other children to all kinds of places. Now my DD is 3 she goes to nursery as I think that’s the environment she now needs. I’ll be doing the same with my DS when I go back to work.

We looked at 2 childminders and 3 nurseries, we decided then we wanted nursery without a doubt (our son is nearly 13 so a while ago now though)

I think most people prefer a childminder for the younger ones. There's more of an attachment to one person but obv you have to find the right one. If childminder holidays would be a problem though it might be worth looking at a nursery

Nurseries are horrendously expensive and less flexible (get fined if you are late picking up) - they have a couple of set sessions so you may have to pay till 6pm whether or not you pick him up at 4pm or not. Also unlikely to offer term time only contracts (saves loads of money) unless you can prove you are a teacher. Constant revolving door of often young staff.

Childminders - much more flexible, have daily and hourly rates. Many childminders are ex. Nursery managers/staff so just as much experience. Much cheaper (nurseries in my are are £60 per day - childminders £35). Inspected by OFSTED so should follow standards of nurseries
BUT we had a childminder for DD and she charged for 50 weeks of the year and in the end it started to grate on us that even though we had 10 weeks holiday per year between us we had to pay for them plus had to pay for bank holidays even when DD wasn't there. Childminder also refused to sign up to tax free childcare which is also good for saving money. At the time we though she was great - it's only since DD stopped going (we had to give notice due to covid as childminder insisted on full fees even when she was closed during lockdown) that we found out certain things that we weren't comfortable with; taking her in car whilst sat on her knee! Plonked infront of TV a lot; childminder constantly had friends/family round for coffee etc - none DBS checked so concerned who was around DD who we didn't know?

BUT I'm having twins and have arranged for a new childminder for them - she sounds great - ex nursery school manager, offers tax free childcare and also term time time only, no plonking kids in front of TVs, operates like a mini nursery as has an assistant

A nanny is the most expensive but CM and nurseries work out about the same. CM and nurseries should be OFSTED registered and have to follow an early years curriculum.

I have various family members and close friends who work in child health and they all told me before I had a child that you should try to get 1-1 care until they are two. So if you are choosing a nursery you need one that doesn't have a high turnover of staff.

The downside of CM is you have to take your holiday when they are on holiday. (Make sure you choose one that only takes 4 weeks holiday a year and has other CM friends who can take your child if they have random days off.) The upside of a CM is that they can work any hours they choose as they work from their home. So if you need to start work early you just find one who works earlier.

The upside of a nursery is they are only closed about 2 weeks a year. The downside is if you are late for pickups then you get charged per 10-15 minutes. (If you get on with your CM they won't charge you as long as you inform them.)

I looked at 4 nurseries and 1 CM then choose the CM. This is due to facilities, opening hours, experience and flexibility.

If you can afford a nanny then I think they are the best option for an 8 month old, followed by childminder, followed by nursery. Whatever a nursery may tell you, children don’t actually start to benefit from the socialisation aspects until around the age of 2 at the earliest.

Before then, the best thing for your child is a secure attachment with one person (which they are meant to have with their nursery keyworker but it’s obviously much harder in that environment). Benefit of a nanny over childminder is that your child will be in your own home, you can dictate exactly what they do (choose activities etc), and your baby will have one to one attention (whereas childminder will have other kids and will have to do eg school pick ups and drop offs). Nannies also make food and can do light housework like cleaning up after meals and the baby’s laundry. You also don’t have to worry about pick up or drop off and they’re usually a bit more flexible on timings, plus most offer babysitting (for overtime pay obviously) so you can have evenings out too.

Downsides of a nanny are the cost, admin (you have to employ them so responsible for NICs, tax, playslips etc, though you can outsource all this to specialist companies), and you have to agree holidays with them.

With both nanny and childminder you’re at their mercy if they take sick days, but the flip side is that a nanny can look after your child when the child is sick (likely to be much more frequent than the nanny being sick), whereas nurseries won’t let you bring your child in. Especially at the beginning when their immune systems are still developing they might be off nursery sick more than they’re actually there, and you’d have to take annual leave to cover that (unless family can step in).

PS nannies can also be ofsted registered and if they are you can pay them in childcare vouchers

It was only ever going to be a nursery for me, for a few reasons:

1- i didn’t Want a single care giver for my child- that’s me, their dad or a family member.
2- my daughter is an August baby and will go to
School very young, I wanted her used to the idea of going to a school type place. They do a lot of “reception ready” stuff aged 3/4
3- I wanted her to mix with her peers
4- i didn’t want to pay someone and risk my child slung infront on a tv or dragged around on their food shop. Nursery are constantly doing activities.
5- the hours worked great for us, 7.30-6 (though pick her up at 5), no issues if a member of staff is still ill the nursery operates.

Oh and 6- I felt comfortable knowing there were other staff to oversee eachother/ ensure regulations were enforced etc.

Just on a couple of points other have raised

• most childminders have children of a similar age they are caring for - very unusual for a childminder just to have one child to look after therefore they DO mix with their peers

• you can move the child to pre school age 3 to give them 12 months of preparation of being in a school type setting

• agree with @OnlyFoolsnMothers on the ratios; pretty sure my DD childminder had her own interpretation of ratios as often used to ask DD who she was with that day and she would list off a whole list of kids, the rules can be gotten around due to siblings, having older children etc

Another (pretty obvious point) is that when comparing you have to be sure that all of your options are good ones. A good nursery is better than a bad nanny, but that’s within your control provided you do your research. Recommendations from other parents are so important for this. A good nanny or childminder won’t just dump your child in front of a TV, any more than a good nursery wouldn’t.

And also, they don’t need to start getting prepared for a school environment when they’re 8 months old! There are universal funded hours from age 3 so that they can attend preschool for a year before starting school, which is sufficient as a pp said.

Your choice for him now can change when he’s older. FWIW, we used a nanny from 11 months to 2 then a combo of a couple of nursery mornings a week for interaction with peers plus nanny from 2-3, and then he’ll be at preschool from 3 (in the mornings, and I’ll be home in afternoons on mat leave).

I preferred a childminder for my 2. I much preferred the home setting, as personally I don't see a benefit to putting children under 2 or even 3 into a more formal setting. Things to look out for with a child minder is their holiday allowance. You will end up having to take your holidays when they do but make sure you aren't charged. Also look for childminders who don't have younger children as they tend to need time off for their own children when they are sick plus school events etc. I would also look for a childminder who is in a group with others. My own childminder is in a network with 4 others and the kids all get along and meet up. Also look for a childminder that goes to local groups etc. Personal recommendations are great.

And also, they don’t need to start getting prepared for a school environment when they’re 8 months old! of course they don’t. Our nursery has a baby room, a toddler room and two preschool rooms, there’s a difference in each setting and I don’t need to move her before school.

We chose nursery for a mixture of reasons:

More reliable - a childminder or nanny will need time off whether planned or ad-hoc, nurseries are staffed to manage this.

More trusted - I'd much rather DD was in a room with 2-3 adults, than left alone with just one.

More sociable - DD was always going to be an only, I wanted her to start socialising and building bonds with other children as soon as she was able.

She started at 11 months, she is now nearly 4 years old. She is super happy there, and her development is really pleasing.

Of course, which nursery you choose makes a huge difference, we chose one where it felt warm and caring, organised and engaging.

The reliability thing with childminders is definitely one to think about - we had countless incidents of last minute appointments for her kids/her and even a surprise holiday her husband surprised her with and I had 48 hours to sort a week off work/working from home.

But the flexibility is good if you have a flexible work pattern

Pluses and minuses to all options really And very much depends on the individual nursery or childminder setting

Thanks everyone for the replies.

We'll have a look at all options, do visits etc, I think I'm swaying towards a childminder whilst he's still very young. Turns out there is one 30 seconds from our house (not been here long enough to have known this before) but she has no availability until August, would have been ideal!

When you do get round to viewing some childminders, I would check what there hourly rate is and if there is any hidden extras, e.g. do they provide meals is it extra, is playgroup fees extra etc. I am a childminder I charge by the hour, I don’t offer a day rate and have a minimum of 7 hours a day , 2 days a week policy. Pre Covid we would be going to a local playgroup once a week and meeting up twice a week with other childminders. Even though I see these childminders regularly none of us have the space to offer care as back up if one of us is ill or on holiday . I don’t charge for my holiday/ sickness but charge full for the childs. All fees are paid in full in advance, I am very stricter in this no pay no care, I to charge parents late fees when they start to take the mick and get later and later collecting. I am happy to accept tax free and childcare vouchers and I charge a deposit to hold a space Held until they leave my care. This is not refundable if you change your mind, owe me money, leave in first 12 weeks of contract or fail to give 4 weeks written notice.

Thank you @Apple40 that's really useful

Ds went part time at 9 months and we used a childminder. He’s now 4 and it’s like going to a relatives house for him. He adores her and they treat ds as part of the family. She has 2 of her own kids and ds loves playing with them. The price we pay includes playgroups etc and she takes them (pre-Covid) to one most days, or they go to the park/woods etc. They do days out to the local soft play/museum/beach etc. Food is extra or we can take packed lunch. We send him with nappies/wipes etc. We pay if ds is ill/ on holiday but not if she’s on holiday. Our childminder has also been really flexible over the years, when we needed to change days/hours she’s always been fine with it and her prices are the same as nursery. We did look at another childminder but found her setting wasn’t very clean and the kids just sat watching cartoons all day. She also had a few cats walking on the worktop (which I think is disgusting) and the toddlers she had were caked in dry snot (I wouldn’t let ds accumulate dry snot on his face, if I’m paying someone to look after him, i would assume he would be cleaned every so often!) biggest downside of childminders is if she’s ill/her kids are ill she has to close! Although that’s only happened once. But she does have a network of other reliable childminders she can provide details of if that happens.
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The biggest downside of a nursery for us, was change in key workers/lack of communication when you have 20 kids to hand back things often get missed (shouldn’t happen, but it does!) ds is also allergic to certain things and they segregated the allergy kids so essentially he would sit on his own for dinner which we thought was very unfair. Our local nursery you have to book either half day (till 12) afternoon (1-5.30) or all day, so if you wanted to collect at 3pm you had to pay full days.

OP I pay my CM in arrears and didn't pay a deposit. All food and any activities are included. My CM's children are all adults. She gives us a minimum of 6 months notice of holidays.

Pre-Covid it was normal for both CMs and nurseries to take children to the supermarket. I learned when babysitting that often parents don't take their children to the supermarket as it is a hassle when trying to do a main shop this is why other carers take them.

I also don't have to mark my LO's clothes with her name. There as my friends' who use nurseries have had to do this.

Oh and another important thing is if the CM does school runs make sure they only do it for one school (or two schools right next to each other) preferably within walking distance to avoid your child spending extra time in the car.

My DS started with a childminder full time at 8 months. I also had FT external care from babyhood (parents both FT) and had a series of nannies, many of whom are my friends on facebook. I think for babies a single caregiver is important. My DS views the childminder like he would a granny - she's a bit younger than my mum, but not implausibly so; there's only a few of them and sometimes some after school kids. She takes him to do normal things like go shopping and to the post office and for long walks, and it is really calm in her house. He plays with the other small children and they go to parks, and hang out with other childminders. It was the closest to a normal family life I could manage and he knows and is known in the local area, has never screamed at dropoff and is a happy and confident little boy despite us working all the time. I would hugely recommend a childminder!

I preferred the nursery option when looking for my son. I wasn't keen on him going on school runs. Much preferred to know he was where I left him for the day. I also preferred the idea of him being with similar aged children rather than a mixture as he was quite shy and startled easily. Nurseries are also more reliable as they will have other staff available if one goes off sick and always more than one set of eyes around to watch him. It was more expensive than a childminder but worth it and has worked really well for us.

When looking at terms and pay the best way to compair is to work out the annual cost. That removes any worry about paying holidays etc becouse everyone is easy to compair....generally 8 days bank holiday over a year is less than a cup of coffee a week. So if the hourly rate is lower than someone who dosent charge over a year you are often paying less.
Excisting parents can tell you about reliability and watching the relationships between adults and children can give you a good idea of what its like to be a child in thd setting.
So that leaves other factors...all registered settings in England follow the EYFS and are inspected by the same inspectors to the same criteria so you can get an Ofsted inspector at a nursery one week going into a childminder the next. It would be very difficult for a childminder to leave a child in front of a TV all day and get a good or outstanding grade especially with the inspections that came in this year. Mine was a 1 to 1 inspection lasting 5 hours continuous grilling of why are you doing that activity, what is each child learning, where is their development what will you do to extend it.? ...Just like a nursery. We are suitability checked in the same way have to explain our training and how it impacts our practice. Explain how we support special needs etc. The inspector seeks the parents opinions and will talk to them in private. We also have to show how we prepare children for school

Childminders can work alone, with up to 4 assistants or with other registered childminders. They often work like small nurseries and can operate with more adults as childcare on domestic premises.
Becouse they go out and about and have neighbours its much more likely that the way they work and the relationship with the children is observed by independent members of the public and not kept behind closed doors where 16 year olds are often lacking the confidence to query the practice and attitudes of their superiors.
Better to go by what feels the best fit and the happiest environment than a label of childminder or nursery....visit a selection talk to parents observe interactions. There are good, bad and outstanding in both