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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Do you trust your childminder?????

40 replies

sheepgirl · 03/10/2007 21:42

How much do we really know goes on in a CMs house when they are caring for your baby? Has anybody ever tried some kind of spying??? I know this sounds awful....pity me I am a anxious first time mum who is starting back to work in a week and starting to have reall anxieties about leaving my baby

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lololola · 05/10/2007 13:25

mal; agree, ofsted reports sometimes not worth paper there written on.

MrsPuddleduck · 05/10/2007 13:36

My DS2 has been going to his childminder for 3 weeks and he absolutely adores her. Sometimes he doesn't want to come home! IMO that is how you know you have a good childminder!

I think that says it all really.

Original poster

sheepgirl · 05/10/2007 19:58

Well I am pleased to report back that I took my baby for the start of the settling in process today. We started with onky 1/2 an hour. The CM shooed me out of the door as she knew I wouldn't leave otherwise. I went for a coffee with a friend and spent the whole time looking at my watch (my friend who doesn't have children found this most annoying) and then practially ran back when I knew it was time to pick him up. I stood at the CMs door for a couple of seconds before ringing the door to listen out for tears.

To my enormous relief and happiness I walked in and my baby was playing quite happily on the floor with another child and didn't even look at me twice. CM said he didn't cry once while I was away and was happy as punch playing.

So I feel I can finally start actually looking forward to work (I actually enjoy what I do) and stop stressing about leaving my baba

Thanks for all the helpful and supportive posts though they really helped me along my journey to letting go.

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OrmIrian · 05/10/2007 20:02

sheepgirl - if your CM is anything like mine, your relationship with her will last for many years and she will end up as a real friend. She retired a year ago and my DCs still love to go and visit her. It is hard to trust to start with (although we've know here so long it's hard to remember that) but you know very very soon if there is something not right.

Kewcumber · 05/10/2007 20:03

The first few weeks are always tough. And they generally go through a phase of being clingy and crying when you leave, which is horrible ( I also used to stand outside the door to see if he stopped crying when I left and he always did). But on the whole it has been a very positive experience for DS and he is very happy there.

Kewcumber · 05/10/2007 20:04

and of course you won't trust her to start with - trust is earned over time.

NannyKnows · 07/10/2007 04:10

As a nanny myself I've found carers seem to be less on their guard when I'm around than when parents are around so I get a fairly good idea of how they treat the children.

All I can say is, go with your gut instinct.

You can read anything into the smallest situation if you are looking for it.

Personally I think that being with a childminder is much nicer for the baby than being in a nursery.

Original poster

sheepgirl · 07/10/2007 22:10

What I like about my CM is she is professional and sees being a CM as a proper business. However she is also a warm woman who clearly loves children and when the business stuff is out of the way she just swoops up my little one and goes off around the house with him

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chankins · 07/10/2007 22:24

Glad you are feeling bit better about leaving lo. Sounds like he settled in ok so far. I know I'm biased but I do think you've made right decision with a cM. IMO nursery staff don't have as much time to become personally attached to the children, but all the CMs I know adore their mindees and have great relaitonships with the families - nursery always seems a lot more formal. I;m on mat leave at mo but still in frequent touch with past mindees, meet up lots and text lots, which is so lovely. It lets me know I did a good job with them, and I can't wait to get started again in January. Most CMs feel like this about their job.

Original poster

sheepgirl · 07/10/2007 22:28

Tmrw will be my biggest challenge as he is staying with her virtually all morning

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Kiddi · 07/10/2007 22:32

glad you getting things more settled with Cm situation. The setling in process can be as long or a short as a child and parent need, and it sounds like your new CM has got it sorted. Just one thing to bear in mind, is expect that little clingy crying period just a t the time you probably think everything is sorted, and prob it will be your first full week back. Little ones usually pick up on your inner stresses, however clever you think you have been and also have the wobbles after first full week or second week if part time. Its entirley normal they all do it and if you are prepared for it, it wont spoil your day and your little one will get back to normal all the quicker. Good luck keep us updated

Original poster

sheepgirl · 07/10/2007 22:34

What do you do when they start to cry though.....do you just leave?????

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Kiddi · 07/10/2007 22:40

Yep, stay as long or as short as you intentded to when you first arrived. If it was a half hour drop off just sit there and let minder distract LO as she would do if you not there, or if a 2 min drop off, carry on saying what you were going to say Quick kiss and goodbye and out the door! If you really not comfortable or unsure whats best let your minder tell you whats best in her opinion, she has already booted you out the door once, if its best for LO she will do it again! You can always ask for a text once LO is settled, have faith, folow your instincts, and it should be a recipe for happy child, minder and mum, BEAUTIFUL.

BarbieLovesKen · 07/10/2007 22:46

I think you are right to be so cautious. Your simply a good mother.

Yep, I trust our CM with my life - couldnt go to work if I didnt but then my CM is my aunt, who had a huge part in raising me. So, obviously Im very lucky with our situation. She has two grown up girls of her own and has been a CM to two other families for over 20 years. She gave up her job when I had dd (not letting the family she worked for down, she had been with them for 10 years but the children were older and she knew she wasnt really needed anymore but they would never get rid of her loved her too much)

Anyway, its not just because she is family - but its the signs my dd (2 on wednesday) gives me - and this is what I would advise you to look for. She calls my aunt and her husband "granny" and "grandad" (her baby cousin (their grandchild) is also a mindee at their house (just the two of them) so she got this from him) she squeels with delight when she sees them, runs in the door, kisses and hugs me and is more than happy to stay. She has to ring them at least once over the weekend to say hiya and I love you. She tells me things like "granny says always wash hands afore food" and "granny always sings songs and stories" - she comes home every week with a new song or new story. Its very obvious she is being well loved, cared for and stimulated. Your baby will tell you.

Original poster

sheepgirl · 08/10/2007 20:54

CM prefers I drop off, give cuddles and go. Did that today as baby was staying for afternoon and I went to do errands. I walked around my high street like a zombie feeling lost. I couldn't wait to rush back and he was sitting in a high chair eating banana happily babbling away to the CMs child. Nice feeling

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