Eeeeeek drunk parent!

[StrawberryMartini]

Mindee (aged 4) has just been picked up by v v trolleyed mother! It's her first week at college so I'm hoping it's a one-off? She couldn't sign the signing-out book or walk down the driveway straight. So far she's been fab - paying on time and collecting on time but I guess I'm more worried about the child (she's a single mum with a history of an abusive partner).

What's the best thing to do? I didn't obviously say anything at the time.

If this is the only time I'd leave it. As you d=say it may well be down to it being her first week at college. If it happens again then I think you should discuss it with her. Do you have an alcohol policy? You could always make one and give her a copy.

Gosh what would I put on an alcohol policy?! I've got so many blinkin policies already!

lol me too and i don't have an alcohol one actually but i have seen an example of one. The one i saw was about not drinking alcohol as a minder etc but you could always incorparate a bit about parents being expected not to come to collect children after drinking. Obviously you couldn't say they weren't allowed to drink at all but could say that you would not be prepared to release a child to a parent who was too drunk to be responsible for their child. Its a difficult area and i'm not sure you could actually withold a child in these circumstances but it might make her reconsider turning up pissed again.

Surely...it up to the mum if she wants to turn up drunk to pick up her child!! Unless she is driving..or repeatedly SO drunk that you are concerned that she is not taking proper care of the child..in which case you should report her to social services.
As a childminder I wouldn't even consider broaching a parent about picking up their child afer drinking....How mortifying! Its her life and her child and unless the child is 'being neglected' or in 'danger' then I think it should not be your place to judge.
I know you only have the best interests of the child at heart and Im not 'having a go' but surely you are being a bit OT seeing as this is the first time it has happenes...If she is anything like me I look like I have had 5 pints after 1 glass of wine..2 glasses and I can't walk straight lol!

Jen

Thanks Jen - needed to hear that! I was just concerned for the kid - how she was going to get him home safely, make his tea etc. Will not say a word unless it is appearing to affect the child (or her punctuality!).

It is part of yur child protection policy. If a parent is not fit to take a child home, alternative arrangement should be sought

Yep afraid I agree with alibubbles, whilst I have never had to deal with this myself its one we often discuss at network traingin and child protection training. Tipsy is ok( but how do you judge) but if not fit to drive they are still a hazard to their kids if they are walking home, crossing road etc, not paying enough atention to run aways etc.
You need a short bit in your collection policy nothing too heavy just enough to make a parent think. If its not worth them arranging alternative pick up for their child then thay may well have less to drink and its a safer result all round. Point is as a parent you can have a drink but you need to consider who it affects first. Nurseries are quite happy to tell parents not to collect their child. ( or at least thats what I have been told at traingin on numerous occasions

how on earth would you refuse to hand the child over? Surely you couldn't justify charging extra to look after the child when you refuses to hand it back! it's up to the mother is she gets plastered or not - your job is done when the mother arrives to collect child.

Sorry, I just saw this, and I hate to put my foot in it... The worst I have seen at my sons nursery was when one of the mums came on a bike, pregnant, so drunk she couldnt walk straight, having spent the day getting drunk in the sun in Covent Garden (Nice, but...) She was going to take her 3 year old on the bike seat and cycle home. They let him go with her. Of course, I dont know if they mentioned something to her when sober, or if this was a regular occurence.

My take on it is that as a parent it is your duty to stay fit to take care of your child. I never touch alcohol when my husband is on his travels, as the only responsible adult in the house, the least I can do to keep my kids safe is to stay sober.

(But I am biased, as my father had drink problems when I was little and I was terrified when I saw drunk people as their altered behaviour really scared me)

Hoho, No of course you could not charge but that would not be the point of refusing collection. you would just do same as if a parent failed to turn up and was uncontactable, ring nan, or neighbour whoever parent has given instructions for child to be collected by in emergency etc. If necessary inform police, especially if parent trying to drive off with child. If parent went to police about you because you refused to let child leave with them they would have to prove they were in a fit state to care for their child, and If they actually are then if they ring police then you are proven to be in the wrong then, ok you may lose the contract but If you TRULY are concerned for the child then so what if you cant pay the mortgage! Its a hard life but so many of us do it.

I don't think its unreasonable to be concerned SM, its hard not to isn't it? Like you say, I'm sure its a one off and she may be completely mortified when she comes back next week! Still worth watching though. I know that strictly speaking once the child has been collected, its not your problem, but you can't help caring. What IF something did happen on the way home, you'd never forgive yourself.

i think thats shocking, it was my first week back at college this week but i would never dream of picking my son up from nursery drunk. i think its appalling. I know this probably isn't helpful as i would have no idea what to do in that situation, but i can definately understand why you were concerned