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CM CLUB: Childcarers/parents opinions please.

36 replies

PinkChick · 02/10/2007 12:43

the cm's will no some of this story from this morn but....

im a cm, had to attend important meeting for my own dd yesterdaya fternoon, mindees parents couldnt get out of work, i said i could ask another cm if she could cover, asked mum if she wanted to phone/meet her she said no.

took mindee to this cm's yesterday, she had a "beware of the bull dog" sign on her front door and inside was a huge bouncy bull dog, taller than the baby gate that was stopping it getting out of kitchen, but a babygate at least.
House(dont shoot me, i dont have dogs for this and other reasons) was very doggy(smelling/hairs) and room for children was bare plaster with wires coming out of walls were new t.v was being attatched to it(it has been like this for some time, although i hadnt seen it, she had been telling me about it on school run)
cm said to mindee lets get the barbies out(no toys anywere to be seen?)
I reluctantly left mindee there(felt incredibly guilty as i owuld neevr leave dd somewhere like that, but i HAD to attend this meeting with no children and mum had said she wouldnt/couldnt finish work early) and dp and i both said we were shocked and felt awful about leaving mindee.
got back from meeting and rang cm, her dh said they were out but mindee was fine, rang mum at home time to explain i didnt know she had big dog, mum didnt seem concerned.

today i collect mindee from nursery, ask if she had nice time, she said yes, asked what she did..she said she played with barbies, asked if cm played too, she said "No, she watched telly"!..i said oh did she put cartoons on for you?..No, she watched grown up telly???!!
then she said she went upstairs to play with a funny toy?, that was black and white?..(she didnt know/couldnt explain what it actually was?), i aske dwere cm was, she said down stairs watching telly!???, then she came up and played for a bit.
My dd then asked her what she did at cm's, mindee said the dog 'sniffed' her..i asked her if the dog came in the room and she said no, she then said she went into the kitche and garden were dog was and it kept licking and sniffing her(the dog is easilly a foot taller than her)
i asked what she had for snack time(we d this 3.30 when all in from school), she said nothing as cm didnt have time(back from school run 3.30, mindee stayed till 4.30)

nnow...the school ring me whenever there is a cm enquiry, lately i have told them to ring this cm as im full, but me personally wouldnt take anychild there knowing what i now know, so what do i do?, shes registered(dp said he has no idea how!)do i say something to school as i recomended her to them as a back up for me, what do i say to parent whos child went yesterday?
i know my opinions can be v.different regarding cleanliness and animals so wanted to hear what others thought before i speak to anyone.

OP posts:
PinkChick · 02/10/2007 12:49

sorry that got long

OP posts:
COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:07

ANYONE???..ill be seeing mum at 4pm so need to decide what/if to say anymore to her???

MaureenMLove · 02/10/2007 13:13

Hello. Wellll. I would still recommend her, like you say your standards are obviously different from yours (mine are like your incidently!), but its up to the parents who go and visit her to make the final decision on whether their lo's go there or not.

Not sure whether to mention it or not to mum, tbh. Maybe someone else has a better idea. Sorry. Stick a link in the staff room to make sure everyone gets it!

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:15

thing is i CANT reccomend her, i can suggest i suppose, but i know my parents and i know none of them would want the children going there with dog at very least

dmo · 02/10/2007 13:17

i dont tend to recomend childminders i normally just say there is a childminder round the corner with vacancys etc etc

dont think you could say to school as they wont recommend anyone anyway normally (my names in our school policy but the school states i am a wrap around care but not conected to school)

think you should just get in touch with your learning manager and maybe they might go out and see if this cm needs any help

CarGirl · 02/10/2007 13:21

I guess you can say you know childminder x has a vacancy, if you are talking to parents suggest they go around and meet her first etc don't do it as a recommendation though.

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:22

TBH DMO seeing her yesterday its obvious(and now more so since mindee told me) that shes not interested in cming or the children, she has a LO sobbing all the way to her house most days and this child is gorgeous, really lovely and not the 'clingy/upset' type..i cant beleive she just sat and watched t.v while mindee played adn upstairs on her own and in garden with dog..on her own..dp now thinks i am a wonderful cm and says people like her give me a bad name.
ive been ringing her and passing on enquiries for a whle now. the school do give out my business cards(maybe they dont do this at all schools?) and nursery.secretary tell me they tell parents how lovely i they may be doing similar to this cm?

MaureenMLove · 02/10/2007 13:23

Think thats what I meant really. 'Suggest' that parents see this cm. I wouldn't be able to say 'Oh she's really good, I recommend her' either!

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:24

hmm, yeah, suggest they actually visit and give name so they can make thier own mind up?..i do have another back up, a girl i trained with who is lovely and similar to me in her ways, but she lives farther away, although two of mindees used her while i was onn hol..think ill stick to her in furture unless absolute emergency , then they can ring/visit/make arrangements thmselves.

dmo · 02/10/2007 13:25

i had a childminder one of my mindees went too, she was fine but her children wernt and the mindee left after 2 wks and came to me (been here for 3yrs now)
i talk to her in toddler group but never give her name out

dmo · 02/10/2007 13:26

anyway if parents see this other childminder they will be q ing at your door
get your policys ready

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:27

thing is this morn at school i was talking (discretly) to friend saying i was feeling guilty leaving mindee wuith sucha big dog and friend said along th lines of"oh i dont like her, she always looks like hes ready for a fight with you and doesnt seem botherd about her own let alone another LO"

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:29

LOL, thats what dp said..and this was the one i was worried about a while back when she first started cm'ing on 'my turf'....

she does have other mindees though, quite a fw all here and there, nothing permanent, but still, people do send their children there, regardless???

funnypeculiar · 02/10/2007 13:35

first thing is you sound lovely to be so concerned.

Humm, if it was my child you were talking about

  • I'd probably rather you said something about the care. I often get titbits from my son about his day, & I'd rather hear from YOU that you weren't totally comfortable/wouldn't leave her there again that start hearing things from him, iykwim. (My ds would have been DELIGHTED to be sniffed by a big dog, but that's beside the point)
  • BUT that doesn't mean you say everything - perhaps just say you were a bit uncomfortable about the dog, even though it was secure, so you'd prefer to come up with an alternative plan for anything like that in the future (or throw it back to the mum & ask HER to go round & see what she thinks.

    Harder ito the school. I like dmo's idea best Don't think you can judge her definitively on one visit - she may have had a bad day/your mindee may have got things slightly askew etc. If someone asks directly for your opinion? personally, I'd say smthg vague like "I think we have different styles, so suit different families"

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 13:42

thanks funnypeculiar...i will speak to indees mum tonight(i know she is personally more of the way of this cm than me, but chose me so obv prefers my house/ways etc)
i will just say i was uncofortable with the dog and that xxx had told me she had been playing on her own all afternoon which i dont think is very good so in furture i can offer numbers to parents but its up to them to decide who to use as i wouldnt take my dd where she will do nothing and where there is big overexcited dog!

dont know if to say something to school though?, could mention to nursery teacher on th QT as shes lovely, maybe just say as i recomended other cm, please let anyone rining know she has a dog, then up to them to visit as she doesnt have this anywhere and i state in my policies no animals??

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 19:16

ok, had chat with mum tonight, i said that i felt bad leaving her dd there after seeing the dog (didnt go into more detail, that may be just MY problems?) and said that her dd had told me today that she had to play on her own whlie cm watched telly, i said i was gob smacked and that without meaning to sound unproffesional myself, would not be recomending or sending any children her way in future.
i said it would be either the cm i trained with who looked after mindees while i was on hol or parents would HAVE to finish work.

mum said she went to house to collect and after knocking heard a man shout "come on in"(mum wasnt even sure she had right house!), then she saw the dog but no dd, man(cm's dh) then said they were upstairs{???}and shouted them down!.
mum said in nicest way that she would only use my friend(who looked after them while i was on hol) in future and wouldnt want to se this woman again, for the dog reason, the telly, the fact there was no security(come on in to someone he'd never met before, i always answer door, making sure children are in playroom and its always always locked!)
So now i feel better and prob will mention 'something' to bursery teacher in morn about my concern, i feel as there are little ones in nursery going to her and parents apart from expecting their child to be having fun, are paying a lot of money(she charges more than me!!!)for her to be so lax need to have a bit of a heads up first!
dp thinks i should speak to ofsted, but surely they would know about dog??!!

COUNTPinkChickULA · 02/10/2007 19:17

nursery, not bursery

COUNTPinkChickULA · 03/10/2007 12:49

oh this story gets better!

bumped in said cm this morn, chatting away, shes telling me how she was decorating yesterday(, so her bare walls prob is no longer prob and puts me to shame), then she said she was going to buy more paint today from xxx(a good 45 mins drive away), didnt click!...walks toward school and realise she is picking up today and had children all afternoon yesterday!..she's been decorating her house while minding!, not had someone in decorating, she has been doing it!? what have the children been doing?

i even mentioned about her dog in a kind of non confrontational way..i said as much as i used to like dogs when we had them I think dogs and children dont mix, it only takes a second and a grumpy sleepy dog to turn, she said she thought the same and is constantly worried as one of her mindees pulls him(the dog) everywhere and is really rough with him!!!!!!!!!!!!

blessingchild · 03/10/2007 13:19

How close are you to this cm? IMHO, I think you have done the right thing by telling her that dogs and children don't mix. As she is a registerd CM, she must have had ofsted visited and the rest is left for parents to decide if they want to leave their children with her or not. It can't be that bad if you being a CM left her to look after your mindee for at least an hour. How about talking to her again about the issues you have about her setting if you feel that concerned and don't recommend her to others if you are worried.

COUNTPinkChickULA · 04/10/2007 14:19

Hi and thanks, im not close to her, i see her on school run and agve her some advice when starting up!..some good that did!

Anyway, she knows how i feel now, i havent mentioned anything to school although mum said something agai to me tonight so i may mention that mum was unhappy and think it was because of dog, just so teacher can give parents a heads up if they ask to see her..cant do much else really, she IS sorting her house out, even if it is the time when she should be entertaining children!

Kiddi · 04/10/2007 23:23

Gotta say think you did completely the wrong thing leaving your minded child thre if your gut instinct telling you it was not a good environment. However important your meeting was how could leave a child left in your trust and care in a place you quite clearly say you would not leave your own child. If she is awful thru ignorance, you must be worse if you do know better and stil left a child there.

COUNTPinkChickULA · 05/10/2007 10:12

i had informed parent i COULD NOT have HER child this particular afternonn, PARENT told me she WOULD NOT finish work early!, i said my only alternative is to see if another cm from school was free, when i found out she was i gave mum her number and asked her if she would like to go round, check out/meet her..mum said NO(would you send your child to another persons house that youd never met/whom your cm said she didnt 'know' just spoke to at school gates?)..i didnt reccomend her and i gave mum opportunity to meet her herself and she wasnt in the least bit botherd.
This woman is reg with ofsted and has other children there to look after, so i didnt feel i could turn round and tell ehr she wasnt fit to mind cos she ahd a dog and was decorating, as after all thats all anyone else would see itas , as not everyone is as anal about dogs and children as i am.
it is her MUMS responsability to make sure she knows where she is and that shes ok, mum didnt give a dam, so i had to take her , meaning i SAW the hosue, if mum had taken her she would have seen for herself.
i did feel guilty for leaving her, but the mum knew the situation and was only interested in the fact she didnt get messed about!

Kiddi · 05/10/2007 19:38

Maybe its just me then, but I thought that as a registered childminder you have a duty of care to that child irrespective of the parents laid back approach. and surely if the parent really does not care where her child goes then its a child protection issue and you are the only one there to protect the childs best interests.
It just seems odd you happy to complain about this woman and her low standards but were still able to leave the child there, she was either satisfactory or inadequate, Ofsted gradings, if she satisfactory which she should have been for you to leave ANY child there then let it drop. If she inadequate then get on the phone to Ofsted and prtect the other children in her care NOW, however bad that may make you look.

COUNTPinkChickULA · 06/10/2007 16:37

however guilty i felt, that child/each child is only my responsability when theyre with me, mum could take her home and leave her sit in rain all night, although i would take action if i knew this, that wouldnt be my responsabilty, i cant control the child or her welfare when I'M not looking after her.
I wouldnt have put her in cage with a pack of lions, but this cm was recently reg.
Mum wasnt interested were she was just that she didnt have to leave work, i wasnt able to work that afternoon.
cm IS reg with ofsted, so guess ill stop annoying you and going on about it now then, ever so sorry.

Kiddi · 06/10/2007 18:46

You did ask for opinions isnt that the thread header? I thought you wanted to know. But its still stands the same with me, she is your responsibility while you look after her. therefore if you take her somewhere under the mums instructions it is your responsibility whether you leave her. If the minder had been drunk im sure you would not have left her even if the mum had asked you to. thats the point it is your responsibility where and with whom you leave her. If you dont see that point, there is no point asking about how to deal with someone who does not seem to have a clue about meeting Ofsted regs as that is one of them.

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