Hello, I've posted on mn often before but this is a new nickname as never posted re nannies before. Basically, we've had a new nanny for the past six weeks to look after dd1 who's 2 1/2 and dd2 who's just four months. I checked her refs verbally and they were all very good and she'd had experience of a toddler and a small baby, she did a trial day etc and she came across as a very sweet, hard-working person. Which I still think she is.
My problems are just niggly little ones but as we all - nannies and employers - know, niggles can be very unpleasant. I work from home so am well aware of what is going on. I try to stay out of the way as much as possible as I know it's annoying for s/c nannies to have someone looking over their shoulder but at the same time over the first few weeks I needed to be around quite a bit to train her. The problem is she doesn't seem to listen properly to what I say and does a lot of yes, yes, I know and then proceeds to do things her way anyway. I think she's trying to save me time and prove how efficient she is but the effect is I end up having to explain everything 10 times before the message goes in. I wrote a manual for both girls to try and circumvent this problem, but it's mysteriously "disappeared."
Among the problems are she spends an inordinate amount of time doing things which are supposedly very helpful but aren't in her job description ie our ironing and laundry, cleaning out cupboards, which is very nice but completely unasked for. It also means we can never find anything as although our drawers are messy, they're our mess and they have a warped logic to them. Yesterday dd2 was home from nursery with a cold and I suggested they did painting. I could see the nanny was getting quite freaked out about the amount of mess being made and she soon knocked this activity on the head, to child's disappointment and to mine.
Other more serious niggles concern the fact that despite good refs, she's a bit clueless with both baby and toddler. For example she tells the toddler how bad she is compared to her sister, which is unfair since you can't compare a toddler to a baby, and unhelpful as it makes the toddler hate the baby (I did ask her to make sure there was discipline, but still ...)Then, despite me telling her not to, she keeps giving the baby who is quite unsettled little milk top ups here and there, which make her feeding routine a mess. The other day I found her with a packet of baby rice and she said 'oh, I;'m thinking of giving dd2 some of this this afternoon'. I said I'd rather a decision about when to start weaning was left down to me and she seemed a bit hurt, but am now getting stressed that she will just start the solids without consulting me. DD1 is being tricky re potty training and I have no confidence that the new nanny will be any good at persuading her.
You'll all advise me to talk to her and I will, again, next week. The problem is it's very hard to have a proper conversation with her as both kids are always creating mayhem. I want to give her as fair a crack at this as possible as she seems to really want the job. On the other hand, if she's getting on my nerves would it be better to end things sooner rather than later?
Our last nanny was with us for 2 1/4 years and left because her husband's job took them away and she was superb so finding someone who is 75 per cent there is a bit of a shock. DD1 seems to like her and does lead her a merry dance, so often I forgive her, thinking anyone who had to put up with all this toddler crap needs to be cut plenty of slack but on the other hand I do want a nanny I can trust to respect my wishes. Anyway, sorry for the rant and thanks for listening. I always used to think women who bored on about their nannies were bourgeois spoilt moaners but now I realise how your sanity depends on them!