Grandparents

[DebLou47]

I need to go back to work and in two minds whether to let my fit and healthy 71 & 74 year old parents look after my kids in October !

I am petrified but my parents have had enough after 4 months hardly any contact and they said at their age they are willing to take the risks but I am worried eeek

Difficult decision but ultimately do what you all feel best as a family. The most valuable thing is time spent together.

If it helps, I have neighbours whose toddler visits her paternal grandparents every week even throughout lockdown. The grandfather had health issues in the past and as a family they decided to have as much time as possible as they wouldn’t want to ever regret not seeing the child and child seeing her grandparents, especially as the chances are tiny of contracting the virus.

My mum is 71, very fit, healthy and active. However, after a few hours with my boys I can see she’s exhausted and struggling. She will insist she’s fine but then I’ll catch her wincing as she gets off the floor, falls asleep on the sofa etc. No way would I expect regular childcare from her. A couple of hours while I get my hair done is the extent now. I feel too bad otherwise.

My MIL is 59 and copes fine looking after our 3yo one day a week. But I can tell she’s looking forward to relaxing when we get him back! I’m glad it’s only for another year.

Sorry, do you mean just because of Covid? It depends where you’re children are the rest of the time I think, for passing it on to them. But my previous post still applies too I think

*your

I’m not asking my parents (69 and 71) to look after my kids at the moment. It’s against current guidance as I can’t expect them to care for them properly 1m+ away. I’m hoping shortly the guidance will change to allow two bigger households to bubble so we can relax a bit. Many many others have stopped bothering with the guidance and that’s their choice, but not a choice I’m happy with. I reckon my parents have a good few years left and I can’t face the thought of us giving them Covid and the resultant possibilities.

It is so silly that someone can send their child to a nursery or have a nanny but grandparents can't decide if they are happy providing childcare. I know it is about the economy but it is silly.

Apart from covid I think you should consider the range of activities they will offer and their parenting style....are they going to undermine you? I work with a family who are having major issues with food and discipline becouse the grandparents have no rules.

Thanks everyone I have said to them that my children will be going to childcare and they got upset and said "they make our retirement enjoyable " they make me feel guilty saying I am sending them to nursery etc as they adore my kids so much and vice versus but I would never forgive myself putting them at risk but my mum is getting depressed not seeing them ... my mum is extremely fit my dad not so much but my youngest goes to nursery 3 times per week anyway and the eldest at school they don't have them all the time as my partner also does shift with but due to second wave predictions I am petrified !!!

Could you maybe meet in the middle and maybe do a few hours/day with the grandparents? I completely understand where you’re coming from and the concerns you have it’s so hard to know what to do for the best.

@BF888 exactly my mums mental health declined because she didn't have them but I can't put them at risk x