Is an au pair our best option?

[dancingmama]

I'm in need of some advice. We're moving back to the UK in a few months (Scotland) and I am a bit clueless about childcare.

Since becoming parents we have been expats in Singapore so our nanny doubled up as a housekeeper - I work 4 days a week so she would look after our son on those days and then clean the house on my day off.

I know things will be different in Scotland but I'm wondering what our best option is for a combination of childcare and cleaning, as myself and my husband will be working long hours so we want to spend every second we aren't at work with our son, rather than housework.

Is an au pair our best option, combined with a cleaning company once a week? (Obviously not expecting the au pair to do everything, just washing and cleaning up after our son.) Or is it possible to get a housekeeper who does some babysitting, and have him in nursery?

Also any feedback on rough costs would be great. What I've found online seems out of date

I'd really appreciate any advice. We are about to start long days and unsociable hours so I want to make the transition as easy for our family as possible. He's 18 months old. Thanks

Au pairs don’t look after children that young.

Minimum age is 2, and even then most people prefer to use au pairs for older children.

Tbh I doubt that in a few months many au pairs will be keen to come to Scotland - or will be allowed to. Lockdown will still be in force, at least partially.

I gather Singapore took a very strict approach early on so hasn’t had much trouble with covid 19? Are you up to date with the position here?

In general it’s much harder to find nanny-housekeepers here. They are available in wealthy areas, but unusual elsewhere. Most childcare professionals here will clean up after the child a bit (some more than others), but won’t do anything that is general housework or for the parents.

Most affluent working parents use childcare (nursery, childminder, or nanny) and then a separate cleaning service.

Costs will depend a lot on where in Scotland?

Au pairs don't do sole all day care of preschool aged children. They are really for wraparound care and occasional evening babysitting. If you want someone to care for your child all day you need a nanny, unless you use a childminder or nursery. But long days and unsociable hours will probably mean you need a nanny. As PP say you're unlikely to find a nanny-housekeeper in Scotland, so you're probably looking at a nanny and a separate cleaner.

Nursery/nanny plus cleaner. As has been said, you can get nanny-housekeepers here but they are relatively unusual.

Not an au-pair- they’re teenagers here to learn English and give you a hand, not as a cheap nanny/house keeper. Much better for older kids who just need someone around. You need a cleaner and then either employ a nanny or find a nursery. Nanny’s don’t clean. Nursery’s rarely do beyond 8am-6.30 pm so that may be a consideration too. I have to say some returning expat friends have had the worst experiences with sorting childcare because they have had such cheap nanny/housekeeper experiences overseas, and don’t expect to pay for services here. Childcare costs so much- don’t expect a teenager on £100 a week to do it.

Nursery costs where I am are £60 a day ish.
Cleaners are about £12ph.

18 months with an au pair

Definitely not.

You need a full time nanny who provides wraparound care or a nursery that provides similar alongside a cleaner.
I'd recommend 2 x per week for fewer hours (4 or 5) for the cleaner as your nanny/cleaner in Singapore will not have been cleaning 1 x per week but will habe been doing little bits to keep on top of things throughout the week meaning and you probably won't be happy with the a true 1x p.w. clean

What you need is a full time Nanny and a cleaning company, not an au pair. For long and unsociable hours with an 18 month old you want a professional who knows what they’re doing with children. Sounds like live in might be an option for you? An au pair does a few hours a week with older children, before school or some pick ups, babysitting, its a cultural exchange not a professional job

Thanks for the advice.

RE nurseries is it cost effective to do half days? (As in, is it half the price, say £30?). As it's unsociable hours we won't need a full day every day, so we may need a few half days in nursery and then some form of wraparound care... although if au pairs aren't suitable then I'm not sure what that care would be? Doing a nanny, nursery and a cleaning service all together is too expensive...

This childcare situation is proving difficult!

Also thank you for the advice RE corona. We are going to isolate for a few weeks when we get back and my husband will return to work before me, so it's not an emergency, but I want a plan ready as I will be going back to work as soon as "normal" life starts to return.

You wouldn’t need nanny and nursery-you’d need a nanny as nursery won’t give you the long hours you need. Plus a cleaner.

Missed the unsocial hours bit!
I'd 100% go for live in nanny

Sadly a half day isn't half the price at nursery and it might be hard to get the flexibility you want with them, they tend to prefer fixed bookings.

Maybe you need a live in nanny?

Live in will be cheaper than live out (in my experience approx 2/3rds of the total employer cost of live out / but then you do need to factor in extra food and bills etc for another adult in the house).

You can have longer days with a live in (eg 7-7) and also two nights a week babysitting. Just need to set out expectations upfront and consult some agencies re fair pay.

I would choose a full time nanny for an 18 month old, then look at adding a few sessions at nursery or preschool as they get older. Nanny housekeepers are available but rare and usually want to work with families with older kids. Cleaning and childcare (to professional standards) are different shoulders and someone who has trained in childcare might not be that great at cleaning (or want to), likewise, some who is efficient at cleaning to a high standard might not be that good with kids. They are two separate roles.

Not sure where shoulders came from!!!

Nursery can be very inflexible if your working pattern changes.

Live in nanny and a cleaner.

Thanks everyone, that's super helpful.

Roughly how much would a live-in nanny be if we provide a nice double bedroom with an en suite? I wouldn't need 7-7 every day as my husband and I won't work the same shifts - more like, for example 7-1 twice a week and 2-9 twice a week, and maybe the odd weekend day. But we do need a certain amount of flexibility.

Is it unreasonable to expect a nanny working less than full-time to do light housework? Emptying and loading dishwasher and vacuuming before clocking off?

I'm not expecting someone to clean to professional standards but just take the load off us a bit - also I totally understand that this would only be when they're not looking after DS.

Have a look at some nanny agencies online in the area of Scotland you’re intending to move to. If you have space, a live in nanny works out cheaper but factor in tax and their NI contributions. The agency will have all the details.
Do likewise with a cleaning company. They’ll be dearer than employing your own cleaner directly but likely more reliable as will cover any sickness etc. Some companies have a team of cleaners (say 3 or 4) who come in one day and thoroughly clean in 2 or 3 hours - so 6-12 hours total... some also do ironing. I’d recommend you have them the day prior to your days off so you can enjoy a peaceful clean home!
Au pairs are fabulous for when the children are much older especially during the long summer holidays when you’re working and certainly worth considering when your child is 8 or so.

About £350 per week I think. You might have to factor in NI / pension etc.

www.nannytax.co.uk/what-we-do/membership-benefits/nanny-salary-index-2018-19

The nanny will likely want full time hours-some will be happy to clean others not to make up the hours. However, it may be cheaper to get a cleaner as the nanny would want a nanny salary to clean whereas a cleaner may be a couple of £ an hour cheaper.

I think your hours add up to around 30? So yes, in your contract you could say an hour or so of light cleaning per working day. Lots of nannies with only do what’s pertinent to the child though... so, clean the child’s room, playroom, tidy toys, child’s meals (not yours), child’s clothes (not yours) etc etc. But these things can be negotiated.

As a nanny, I've always mucked in with everyday household tasks - emptying bins, loading dishwashers emptying the dryer etc, I don't mind doing this as long as the parents also muck in equally and don't always leave these jobs for the nanny. I've worked for some families where parents will ignore overflowing bins and I've come into work on Mondays to find the sink full of dishes from the weekend - that isn't acceptable.
Part of a nannies role is to do nursery duties - this includes things like children's laundry and bedding, tidying and vacuuming childrens rooms, tidying up communal areas where the children have made a mess, leaving the kitchen clean and tidy at the end of the day, with the dishwasher loaded, worktops wiped down and floor swept. I manage this whilst I've got children in my care, I wouldn't want to do a separate day of housekeeping.

Is it unreasonable to expect a nanny working less than full-time to do light housework? Emptying and loading dishwasher and vacuuming before clocking off?

In general, a nanny will clean up after the kids (put away toys, sweep up food, wash up cooking for kids) but not otherwise clean or tidy. The rule of thumb here is that they are a childcare professional rather than an all-purpose domestic, and people do not usually ask them to do general cleaning unless it's to make up their hours & while they don't have the DC.

Our nannies have always done the child's laundry, changed bedding and tidied toys, but not general housekeeping. They will do day to day tasks that fall during working hours like emptying the dishwasher or changing a bin if it needs doing. But I wouldn't expect dusting or vacuuming, only cleaning up dropped food from toddler meals.