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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What should I do?

22 replies

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 05:30

Just before the schools finished, my daughters childminder wrote a exceptionally nasty, sweary message about myself and my daughter intended for an unknown third party but sent it to me by accident I'm upset mainly for my daughter who has done nothing wrong and not happy with continuing with the arrangenent. What would you do/should I do?

OP posts:

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readingismycardio · 05/04/2020 05:34

Well what did she actually say? Does she know you read it?

Phillipa12 · 05/04/2020 05:36

Imo i would find another childminder asap and then leave childminder with immediate effect. I would also refuse to pay any notice fees due to the letter she wrote. Im sure childminder would not want her reputation tarnished to all new potential clients if said letter was made public.

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 05:45

Yes, it was a text message. She backtracked and apologied when she realised she'd sent it to the wrong person.

OP posts:

Maryann1975 · 05/04/2020 09:53

I’m a childminder. If the message was as bad as you make out and you are the innocent party (ie the message wasn’t so sweary about you because you are three months late paying your bill and have been two hours late collecting dc every day for a fortnight) I would give her notice with immediate effect and not pay her notice charges, siting the message you read as your reason.

But, if you have been breaking contract arrangements and this is what the message was on about, I think you are justified for leaving but need to pay the notice.
What was the message about?

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 10:19

Please (if you have one) read your contract with regard to fees and notice period. Also if she has insurance ring them up and ask where you stand.

Keep the text message, it's proof, if that is how they, the insurers view it,
it may be needed if she has insurance and decides to take you to court for lack of payment.

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 10:21

Maryann1975 has it spot on

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 10:33

It was a personal comment about me and my daughter and my parenting. I have been the perfect client always paying in time, never causing any problems. Seems the childminder just doesn't like me for some reason.

OP posts:

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 10:36

The message was agressive (don't want to go into detail here) and used the f-bomb in an agressive way. Completely offensive and alluded to this not being the first time such a message had been sent to the 3rd party.

OP posts:

LovingLola · 05/04/2020 10:39

I would look for another minder.
Is she a registered childminder?

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 10:40

Yes, a registered childminder.

OP posts:

florisandyoris · 05/04/2020 10:40

Cancel the contract formally and make a complaint to the local authority that holds the child minders register. It might not be the first time she has been out of line and she shouldn’t be looking after children with an attitude like that.

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 10:42

Contact was verbal. I was never asked to sign anything but am being asked to pay 4 weeks notice in full. My feeling is any contact that exists was breeched at that point but am willing to pay 2 weeks as a compromise.

OP posts:

Areallthenamestaken · 05/04/2020 10:52

Complain to the local authority. She's been extremely unprofessional.

StatementKnickers · 05/04/2020 10:56

I wouldn't pay a penny and if she has the front to ask for the money i''d reply with a screenshot of her nasty message.

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 12:26

Have you been happy with the arrangement you have with the Childminder up till now? Was/is your daughter happy? Well looked after?
No concerns up to now?

As I'm not entirely sure Ofsted would be interested tbh, this contractual, and a txt that it would seem, should have been sent to someone else, but got sent to you. It doesn't appear to have anything to do with the care of your child.

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 12:34

Just remember we can only go by what the op is telling us,
the Childminder May have a very different take on this, she is unable tell us her version of events leading up to the text she sent, unless she is on MM and can identify herself in the post!

Original poster

mzlouise · 05/04/2020 12:47

The relatuonship as far as I was concerned was perfectly cordial and professional up to this point as far as I was aware. Always paid on time, collected on time, tried to accommodate any special requests. Child well behaved as far as I was aware. Certainly nothing was ever raised. What behaviour on my part could justify abusive messages to a third party regarding not just myself but my daughter? Im not going to report it anyway but I would have thought there is an expectation of a standard of behaviour and privacy required from a registered childminder that has been breeched.

OP posts:

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 16:39

Believe me, having been a parent with a child at a Childminders and having been a Childminder, I try to see both sides, childminding can be a very lonely job.
We all, at times need to let off steam about one thing or another.
Whilst I do get your point, the text, we assume, wasn't meant, hopefully, to go to you, rather a friend or a colleague, to let of steam about some, possibly unwarranted grievance she had with you.

If it was me? And I thought we couldn't work with each other any more, I'd give notice in writing, pay what I owe and leave, either there and then or when notice period has finished.

RedElephants · 05/04/2020 20:31

mzlouise, apologises, some how I didn't see your post re no contract...

I would say, no contract, unless possibly verbal.. she hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Have you've seen her URN/Ofsted Certificate? which would start with EY with a possible 6 numbers after it? If not displayed in her setting, she could quite possibly not be Ofsted registered.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/04/2020 22:35

Contract was verbal?

Assumed all professional cm would use a contract .......

I would leave her

malovitt · 07/04/2020 09:03

I'm a childminder. Give immediate notice and don't pay her anything. You have no contract and she behaved appallingly

SMaCM · 11/04/2020 00:13

It doesn't sound great. It depends on your relationship. Is it good enough that you can have a chat and clear the air? If not, then you need to decide your next step.

She should have given you a contract, so that wasn't very professional.

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