Providing/covering all bills for car for au pair use

[Carolinepsd]

Hello, I am looking for a sanity check! We have had a lovely au pair for 6 years now. Initially full time, 35 hours a week with 2 sits and we have always paid her well. At that time I provided a car for school runs & for her use too. 2 years ago with kids all out at school I reduced her hours to 20 and pro rated the pay. She now has another role for 3-4 days a week for which she needs the car to get too, we are relatively rural. My issue is the car is starting to fail. I have always said I would pay basic upkeep, so MOT, tax, insurance which amounts to about £750 a year. I also pay for basic wear and tear like tyres. She does about 40 miles a week for me on school runs and pays petrol out her pocket for that. She has the car all the time and about 75% usage is her own use. My issue is the car is suddenly costing a lot. Last week it had £300 garage bill. Today the MOT another £300 to sort. I know couple of tyres need replacement and said would cover that too. Have told au pair will cover this, it’s a lot so any more garage costs on car this year she needs to spilt with me as it’s primarily wear and tear from her use. She is furious!! Stormed off. I don’t want to lose her but equally am not a money pit. We could just let her use my husbands station car for school runs paying for the petrol and leave at that, for her to sort her own car. Am tempted considering she just stormed off! But that would finish her off I suspect and do need her as have a job, she does help enable me to do that. What would you do?? Thanks, Caroline

What does your contract with her say? Are you paying her less than going rate because she has use of car?

I would let her have the car (as in keep it), if financially viable to do so, so she doesn't feel dropped in it (perhaps with a caveat that she must stay employed with your for a year). Then you pay her for the fuel and wear and tear of the school runs etc, or give her use of your husband's car to do them.

How many miles does she do in your car? Could you look to charge her 45p per mile wear and tear allowance (like companies pay to employees)? This may be a fair compromise that reflects her use.

Au pairs are in short supply now so I see your dilemma. I think you need a sensible and calm conversation to advise that you can't afford for her to have unlimited use and she needs to contribute something. The 45p/mile seems a fair compromise.

I think you just need to suck it up - it you live rurally, you're never going to get an au pair if you don't provide transport. However, I think asking her to pay petrol for your school journeys is a bit off (unless that's a typo).

You have an au pair that you're happy with, that has stayed a remarkable length of time, who needs a car to get your children to school and to work a second job.

Our au pair car is currently in the garage getting a new £2,500, she also need a car to get the children to school, so there was no question of now getting the work done.

I'd just apologise to her quickly, after 6 years as an au pair, she could most likely get a full-time live-in nanny role!

so there was no question of now getting the work done

not getting the work done

How did you have a full time au pair? Au pairs don't do full time. I think if you want her to stay you should pay for the car.