Difficulty with settling in at childminder

[fsaffer]

Hi All! I'm desperate for advice!

I'm a first time mum and my 10 months old son has difficulty with settling at the childminder. We started two weeks ago and first I stayed with him there a few hours then left for an hour. Second time I left him longer but he just constantly cried. CM couldn't calm him or distract him with anything. We changed approach and last time I stayed the whole time which again didn't work well. He only wanted to cuddle me and wasn't interested in any toys or activities or only for a short time. Both agreed that me staying there won't help the situation. By now he knows the place and her. She is really nice and calm. The other kids love her. If I leave him for the whole session which is half day only and he cries the whole time. That makes me so sad and anxious. Is there any better way? Anyone went through similar situation? How long should we try before I consider to find someone else? Thank you x

10 months is a hard age for bonding. Do you have a partner and is your ds ok with him? If so, could your partner drop ds off instead for a few days? I find the moment of separation from mum is hardest on the child so breaking it into two stages might be easier.

That's actually a good idea I haven't thought of. He is really happy with his dad but it could be a way to brake the chain. Thank you for the reply x

Hi there,

I just wanted to reassure you as a childminder, I have twice had children that took a good 2-3 weeks to even start to settle.

At 10 months it's perfectly usual for this to occur.

I would like to reassure you that the children I had diffiulty settling in went on to stay with me for years very happily. You will get there.

Also, depending on your contract you normally have 6 weeks on starting it to change your mind if you are too concerned and want to pull your child out.