Childcare for eldest

[kim1856]

Hi,

I am having a baby in a couple of months and also have a little girl who is 2.5.

I currently work full time and have Friday,Saturday & Sunday off with my Daughter. Monday & Tuesday she is in nursery, Weds & Thurs she is with grandparents.

I was thinking of continuing having grandparents look after my eldest Daughter once I am on maternity leave, but worried that it looks like I'm avoiding my responsibilities. Obviously she has a really close relationship with her Grandparents and loves spending time with them, and also it is going to be extremely hard and tiring entertaining 2 children.

What are people's thoughts on this? Did other people continue with their previous childcare arrangements once next baby came along?

Thanks

How do the grandparents feel about that? They might be looking forward to a bit of a rest too.

My IL’s made themselves pretty scarce when I went on maternity leave for the second time (they looked after ds1 for one day a week when I went back to work). Funnily enough, they didn’t do the same when it was their dd though. If it’s your parents, then definitely do it. Dc2 needs some one on one bonding time too and it’s lovely being able to snuggle and enjoy time together. If grandparents don’t want to do 2 days, then another option is one day with gp’s and the other at nursery.

How old and sprightly are your parents??

Unless they actually offer (and not just to be nice either - it would need to be almost begging to look after nr 2!) then I would be thinking about alternative arrangements - looking after 2 under 3 is a completely different ball game

Is she still going to nursery? If so maybe OK, if not I would think you were a CF

Sorry, I haven't made it clear.

I definitely wasn't expecting them to look after 2 children. I was going to check if they would like to continue looking after just my eldest Daughter while I have my newborn.

My MIL has my Daughter one day a week and I know she would love to continue having her. My mum has her for one day a week as well, but the more I think about it, I don't think she would want to continue while I'm off as I think she finds it quite difficult (however doesn't say that). I will ask both parties to check if they are happy to continue.

I just wondered if it seems awful me continuing with those 2 days a week of childcare while I'm sat at home with my newborn and realistically could have them both at home.

Yes, she will still be going to nursery, so you can withhold your CF comment

Ask them! If they want to carry on then go for it. Offer them the chance to have a break or to do it less frequently. We don’t have any family support but my eldest stayed in full time nursery when I had my youngest.

You need to talk to them. Tbh, if I was the grandparent in this situation I would expect not to see so much of my grandchild while you were on maternity leave.

I guess ask if they want to? My parents stopped all childcare when I started mat leave with my second. Seems a shame not to take the opportunity to spend more time with your eldest before she starts school as well.

Thanks both, yes I think you are probably right with expecting to see less of GrandDaughter while I am on maternity leave.

I will check with both, but I know MIL will definitely want to continue as she offers her help at every opportunity and loves her day with my Daughter.

Thanks for opinions.

Oh I see! I guess that changes things a bit - during maternity leave I think I would want both girls at home together so they could bond - maybe the older one goes to the grandparents for a couple of hours on those 2 days to give you a little bit of a break

Then I'd put the older one into nursery more and let the grandparents have the youngest one so they can also bond? BUT you are going to have a hard time explaining the change to DD1 and she might get jealous

Nursery and grandparents? Why?? Most people do manage, is there a reason you won’t be able to?

I dont get why you think you wont manage....after the first couple of weeks....second time round is easier baby fits in with you....you daughter might feel left out if you dump her off...maybe negotiate a once or twice a month treat if you really struggle but give it a go.

I agree with others. Would want my 2 to bond and think your eldest might feel jealous and left out.
I had 5 and had to go back to work after 4 weeks with youngest. Would have loved luxury of enjoying my toddlers.