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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

If AP's English is not so good

8 replies

Echobelly · 02/02/2020 20:28

Our ap is leaving in a month, and last week a neighbour told me she has decided not to have APs anymore but she felt bad as her current one had done nothing wrong, she just wanted the house back to themselves, and she was happy to recommend him.

Early in his placement she had told me she found his progress with English was slow and she was having to re-explain the same concepts to him, but she said it had improved a lot.

I was really hoping to take him on as it would obviously save a lot of trouble, but DH was unhappy with his English when we met tonight. A couple of times he didn't understand direct questions like 'How old are you?' when we asked, although he was reasonably articulate in talking about some things.

DH was worried there would be confusion in understanding instructions - he's not very patient (we have been spoiled by having APs with pretty good English thus far) and it would make a strained atmosphere if there are misunderstandings, though I do most of the communication with APs. And also DH might get annoyed with him if he can't have a conversation with him without it getting tangled in knots.

I kind of think it's less not understanding than perhaps having to concentrate a lot of what he's going to say next? So I wonder if communicating instructions might be best reiterated by text - some APs have admitted they find it easier to take instructions written down than spoken (we have a white board for a week plan) . But that still wouldn't answer the problem of not being able to converse easily.

I will ask neighbour some questions about his English, but in the meantime, back to the drawing board.

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LeGrandBleu · 02/02/2020 21:31

I think you are completely missing one aspect of the AP's English and that is his interaction with the kids. Written instruction would be acceptable if he was a valet, not a person meant to be spending time with kids. And most importantly, what if something were to happen. Or the teacher reporting something at the end of the day.

His English doesn't need to be excellent but a bare minimum is essential .

Don't ask the neighbour about his English, put him and the kids in the same room and watch .

As a final point, if your DH is already annoyed by him even without having him living in the house 24/7, it will be a disaster!

Echobelly · 03/02/2020 09:22

Fair point. I don't think it was that bad that it would be a safety issue, but I do agree the point that it irritatesd my husband over such a short span is a bad sign. Especially as DH is not good at hiding irritation!

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MaisieMaisie · 03/02/2020 09:25

Could he have been nervous? And so not as confident as he might be usually.

Echobelly · 03/02/2020 12:57

I did wonder, I will ask host mum about it

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Drizzzle · 03/02/2020 13:00

Well, he's here to improve his English, somit shouldn't really be great!

underneaththeash · 03/02/2020 16:46

They could be the most amazing au pair in the world, but if they annoy your DH when it's never going to work...

Echobelly · 03/02/2020 19:43

@Drizzzle - I appreciate that, as I said we've been spoilt for having au pairs with pretty good English. We might cope with someone French whose English was less good, as DH at least speaks some French, but this lad is Spanish and we don't speak it at all.

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Echobelly · 03/02/2020 22:59

Well conversation with the mum sorted it out - kind as she wanted to be to him, it was clear the English was frustrating and he'd been slower to pick it up than other APs she'd had, so that decided on a 'no' this time.

I actually spoke to another candidate today whose English was much worse than this guy's!

As he is in London and she is otherwise prepared to recommend him I am sure he will find a host family without any difficulty - someone with two more patient parents or maybe a Spanish speaker in the house.

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