What would you class as 'too ill' to go to childminder

[Jannt86]

Hi all. I am just starting my LO at a chuldminder and mostly they seem lovely. However I've just seen a newsletter that she's put on an online portal complaining that she and her staff are fed up of kids being sent in poorly and that it's spreading illness and even made her think about packing it all in I don't know what has triggered her to say this but it felt a bit unreasonable and has worried me a bit. It's unfair to take children in if they're really poorly, of course it is, but at the end of the day we mostly send our children to childcare because we have no other choice. I'd rather be caring for my child myself but I have to return to work or I'll lose my job. And kids can get ill really quick. Mine can be bouncing off the walls one minute then just slump and get a fever the next. So my question is how ill is too ill? Coz sorry I can't afford to not take her in the minute she has the slightest sniffle. I would personally not take my child in if I REALISED that she was feverish/vomitting/watery diarrhoea or if she was visibly very distressed by symptoms of an illness. Anything else then sorry but we'd be expected as adults to still go to work with a bit of a cough or cold so it should be fine for our child to be out and about too. Otherwise tbh I might as well just jack in my job and look after her FT because my daughter for one pretty much permanently has the snuffles at this time of year. Am I being reasonable or is there something I'm missing? Can somebody please educate me on what good etiquette is in these situations. Thanks

Yes I can appreciate all the above and don't condone any of it at all. However I think there does have to be a degree of respect for the fact that these are working parents who themselves are put in a very difficult situation if their child can't be cared for and it works both ways. Eg; my sister was called a few times when her kids were at nursery because her daughter had 'diarrhoea'. She didn't at all. She was absolutely fine in herself and had slightly loose stools. The nursery was taking the p%#s because they cba to look after her baby today IMHO. Absolutely you are not there to nurse a sick child but you are there to offer a professional service and care for the child when it's appropriate. As I already said most people don't put their kids in childcare for the fun of it. They're probably busy themselves and they're human too. They might just have failed to realise how ill the child was or the child might have become ill whilst in childcare. I'm sure there's those that try it on too but I for one wouldn't dump my poor kid in a nursery if they were too ill to function and I think most mums wouldn't either. It must be hard when you do get the odd awkward parent that tries it on though

@Jannt86.
Why do you feel they would benefit from sending 1 child home? Surely the staff have other children sending home one makes no difference to them unless the child has more loose stools or is needing extra comfort because they feel Ill.
The nursery will have to deep clean all toys the child has had contact with as well as surfaces. If it's in their policy to send home a child with loose watery pooh they are being vigilant about it being passed through the nursery children mouth toys and dont wash their hands

She's probably had one or two parents constantly sending in sick children, so she's done a reminder to all parents.

You will be surprised how many parents do.

Op you have no idea if they had loose stools . Some children do battle on . Feel better having relieved themselves doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying anything.

I had one child sent to me was sick within an hour of arriving . Every single child I care for plus my own family caught it. Do I think they had been sick at home yes. Based on Mums response when I called.

One thing about parenting your standards are not everyone else’s

Obviously is a child becomes ill whist in childcare we don't all just assume the parent has tried to hide it 🙄 but if a child is poorly it needs to go home. Simple as that. No one sends a child home because they "can't be bothered to look after them" what a ridiculous thing to think.
And the sad fact is that some parents do try and hide illness and send a poorly child in. It happens in schools too. I have friends that "dose them up with calpol and drop and run" hoping no one will notice 😢
I know it can be inconvenient but it's just child minders/nurseries/schools policy to send a poorly child home.

my sister was called a few times when her kids were at nursery because her daughter had 'diarrhoea'. She didn't at all. She was absolutely fine in herself and had slightly loose stools. The nursery was taking the p%#s because they cba to look after her baby today IMHO.

No childcare setting should be willing to risk the other kids and staff for the convenience of parents.
If someone sent their kid into my hoyse with diarrhoea symptoms they would go home. If my kids got it or i got it i would have to close and lose my income. Why is a parents job more important than mine?
Why on earth would a nursery decide they cba to look after one baby dont be ridiculous.

And stop minimizing the number of parents who do send thier kids in ill. Just because you wouldn't doesn't mean all parents are like you.

How did parents decide it wasn't real illness? Just because you dont have repeats of either D or V does not mean they were/are not ill or contagious.
Sometimes we have bugs in milder forms to others because we have better immunity it does not mean we are not contagious as the infection lives within us for up tob48 hours and when we lick or mouth our toys we share them.........

Well I'm sorry but here is fundamental missunderstanding of what diarrhoea is which was my point. Diarrhoea as a result of infection is like water or close to not just a bit loose especially in the context of not being remotely poorly. There's no chance taking involved.

@apple40
Most of your post makes sense but there is an urban myth that green snot is a sign that it is worse. Snot goes green when the immune system is successfully fighting it off and the mucous changes. It might be revolting but is not like d and v or coronavirus

@Jannt86
I'm not misunderstanding at all...you said loose I said watery....unless they keep the nappy you won't know. Children undergoing various treatments including chemo still play and children will vomit play eat vomit eat so seeming normal does not mean well. The only way to confirm it is a stool sample. No setting is going to risk keeping children with watery pooh.

High temperature, diarrhoea and vomiting keep at home. Runny nose and sniffles off to nursery.

I don't get the loose/watery argument. I have just had a tummy bug and had loose stools but not watery diarrhoea. It depends on the bug. Luckily most childcare providers will know the child well to see whether their bm is usual for them or if there's more than a couple they may send them home!

@KellyHall that's not acceptable. If your child is miserable and poorly it's awful to send them in just because you didn't have to scrape them off the floor!!

Apart from how cruel that is to your child, you're also penalizing decent parents who actually keep their poorly kids off by infecting them unnecessarily.

Yes, I have DC, I work full time, as does DH, in stressful jobs, but it's not on to send in a poorly DC who needs a day of cuddles with mum or dad. We use our annual leave, take unpaid parental leave, occasionally ask my parents, or do swaps with friends to cover it. I'd rather lose money than send my DC in feeling shite.

Fgs can't anyone read properly!

I said if she's miserable and poorly I DON'T SEND HER TO NURSERY!

How did you get that I'm cruel from reacting appropriately to my child's physical symptoms?!

Post 1 of 3:

Childminders weren't enough for my family's needs, that's why we chose a nursery.

What if the childminder is ill? What if your child is coughing and has green snot bit is capable of joining in with everything?

My child goes to nursery unless she's so ill I'd have to scrape her up and deliver her there in a floppy mess, or she's been puking/had explosive poos - just the same as me going to work.

Post 2 of 3:
It's because I don't mask symptoms of unknown illnesses with over-medication that I know whether dd is well enough for nursery.

Adults know the difference in themselves when they have a cold or flu for example but with little ones you have to judge the severity of their affliction by how they're acting - if dd is sneezing/coughing but still playing happily, she's fine and she'll go to nursery; if she's a lying down/wanting to be cuddled constantly, grizzly and upset with no energy, she's not well and not going to nursery!

Apologies if "My child goes to nursery unless she’s so ill I’d have to scrape her up" was too vague for anyone, hopefully my elaboration will clear up any confusion.

@Jannt86

Whilst understandable, your assumption that childcare providers must ensure parents get to work is incorrect.

As I stated earlier, their responsibilities are to: protect children from infection; provide education; secure the general welfare of children; maintain food hygiene; and uphold health and safety standards like any other business.

Childcare providers are entirely justified in erring on the side of caution when it comes to illnesses. Parents are frequently less than honest about a child’s condition, but very quick to complain if their child gets sick from another child. The tendency to jump on social media or report to Ofsted puts a provider’s reputation and livelihood in jeopardy, so why should they take that risk?

Childhood illnesses are far from clear cut. If you took the same child to several doctors you would get a wide range of differing (opposing) medical opinions as to whether that child ought to be at home or in childcare.

If you think this is unreasonable, wait until your children start school. Most schools refuse to administer calpol, antibiotics or any other medications. They’ll send children home at the drop of a hat : just so long as they’ve got that all important attendance tick first. I’ve lost count of the number of times schools call a childminder to offload a child because "she's too ill to be in school".

Not at all sure why people seem to think childminders should be a dirt-cheap version of private nurses.

You wonder why ....

Today ... siblings arrive ... sibling 1 says , sibling 2 was sick all over parent last night !!!

From interest when people have children what do they think happens when their child is Ill? Is it something they dont consider?

I'm sure there's those that try it on too but I for one wouldn't dump my poor kid in a nursery if they were too ill to function and I think most mums wouldn't either
This is a very naive comment. I’ve worked in nurseries, pre schools and am now a childminder. Out of the 11 children I have on my books at the moment, 9 of them are in the ‘child is fine to go to the cm even when ill’ camp. Only 2 families keep their child home when they are unwell.
Of course I don’t mind having a child when they have a cough and a cold, but it’s so frustrating when it’s more than that and the child has to ‘get on with it’. More frustrating is that the majority of those parents will think nothing of having a sick day for themselves when they aren’t well. Why should the child have to battle on when the parent gets to spend the day in bed with the same illness? I’ve even had A parent tell me they have a day of annual leave when dropping off poorly child and if I need them, they have nothing planned So phone them at home.

I know that the local nursery struggles with the same thing. Why do parents think that a nursery nurse will have time to sit with a poorly child on her knee all day. She has another 7 dc to entertain! (That was a real conversation I overheard between a parent and staff member. Staff member trying to peel poorly, Upset child off mum, mum telling child, it was ok, she could sit with staff all day if she was too tired and didn’t want to play. What bit of that is acceptable?).
Also, please don’t tell your childcare workers that your child is teething, when they clearly have the same virus as everyone else does. It’s not helpful! (I’ve heard that too many times too).
I am sympathetic to The parents plight of having to go to work, I really am, but I think a lot of childcare workers (especially those who have worked in the sector for a long time) have less and less patience over parents sending in poorly children.

Colds fine. Kids get them

S&D spots or any temp /needs calpol , can’t join in then a no

I was one of those annoying parents when DS first started, I would message our childminder to ask! Generally obviously D&V etc apply the standard 48 hours symptom free, for coughs and colds I try and think of both the CM and DS. If he is snotty but eating and playing quite happily then I send him in, if he is poorly to the level he needs calpol every few hours, lots of sleep, isn't really eating properly and unable to join in then I keep him off; partly because a day at home resting is probably better for his recovery, but also as the CM has other children so even forgetting them catching it, it will hugely affect their day as well.

I'm in a similar boat. But my childminder keeps insinuating that my lo is I'll when I know hes not. The only symptom she can give is " hes not been himself today" as soon as I get him home hes fine ,no fever or anything. I have bad anxiety and its getting to the point where I dont want to take him their in the mornings

Tbh your 'not watery diarrhoea', 'my child gets a bit hot', 'just a sniffle' comments do make you sound as though you might well be one of the parents who sends their child in even though they were 'only sick once or twice and it's probably something they ate' etc.

As for 'there should be some recognition that we are working parents' angle... by sending your child in sick, you are potentially causing problems and potential lost earnings for the working parents of the childminder's other mindees, not to mention the childminder herself (who may well also be a working parent), when your child passes on their illness to them. Better that your child stays off and only inconveniences you, than a whole bunch of people. Mild cold - fine. Fever, any sickness, any diarrhoea (watery or otherwise!) - nope.