Is anyone really bothered if AP arrangement doesn't match every criteria

[Echobelly]

I’m the one who does all the au pair searching but my DH keeps worrying about whether we are on dodgy legal ground if our au pair isn’t taking English lessons (only one ours so far has wanted or needed to) or not eating every meal with the family (again, thus far all of ours have been quite independent and off doing their own thing when not on duty) because then he says they don’t really count as an AP for visa purposes. My view is it’s not like someone is knocking on doors checking on these things and as long as we are treating them well and as they expect then I don’t see any problems arising from not matching every criteria.

I think I basically agree with you - I think of it as if a distant family member came to stay for an extended period, how would it work? They would be treated as 'one of the family' and welcome to eat with the family, share provisions, come on days out etc. but wouldn't be tied to the apron strings and would quite likely appreciate their own space and time to do their own thing as well.

English lessons 100% not necessary (otherwise there would be a requirement for Canadian, Aussie, Kiwi APs to take english lessons which would be nonsense!), but I do think the AP should be getting some kind of 'enrichment' to their AP experience beyond just living in the UK, to avoid it seeming like purely cheap domestic labour - for many improving their English is the main thing, but if not what else are they getting out of their stay, is there some other skill they can be learning or experience gained? Obviously plenty of APs just want to hang out with friends etc which is fine to a point but I'd talk to them about their future plans (uni/college, training for a profession or whatever) and encouraging them to think what they can do with their spare time that builds towards that so they have something more to show for their year away than just having a good time . It's probably easier if you are in/near London or another big city as so much cultural/educational stuff going on, but I'm sure you can think of something even if it's just joining a gym or taking up a hobby or sport!

Our current au pair is working his way though West End musicals during his stay with us!

You need to follow the guidelines on the government website to satisfy HMRC that they are an au pair, but it's a "most of" rather than everything.

The last thing anyone needs to happen is a disgruntled au pair complaining that they were actually a nanny and then you're not able to justify to HMRC that they are actually an au pair.

Yeah, that's my thinking really. Our kids are 11 and 8 so there's no crazy hours or baby care or anything that you're not supposed to ask of an AP.

HMRC are only likely to care if you are paying at a level where you should've been paying tax.

APs are not exempt from national insurance and income tax, they are just usually paid at a rate below the thresholds.

If they are working before/after school, around 25 hours , you provide bed and board that seems fine.

I’ve had a couple of au pairs. One didn’t go to English lessons - her English was already ok. I didn’t realise they had to ? Neither used to really eat with us ?

So these are the rules you need to follow;

www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law/au-pairs but note that most of them have to apply rather than all.

The reason HMRC would be interested is that if someone isn't an au pair then they'd be an employee and minimum wage/employment rights/responsibilities apply.