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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM CLUB: AIBU to expect them to sit quietly at the table?

19 replies

S88AHG · 28/08/2007 13:43

I dont expect them to be silent but no laughing and giggling and throwing food and messing about with food? They have been coming all summer and age range is 4yrs to 8.5 years including my own ds and dd? If I am then fair enough but its only for about 20 mins for a meal consisting of sandwiches crisps sausages etc!!!!

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LoveMyGirls · 28/08/2007 13:50

No not unreasonable i dont think, I sometimes put music on at the table so they have something to listen to while they eat, takes their mind off messing about. They should def not be throwing food at that age!

hennipenni · 28/08/2007 14:00

Not at all unreasonable, I expect all my mindees to sit quietly, including the three year old and two with SN. (who will now sit still, not mess about or leave the table between courses.)

lisalisa · 28/08/2007 14:02

Message withdrawn

Original poster

S88AHG · 28/08/2007 14:03

Thanks just some days wish I worked in an office where I could go out for an hour for lunch at somewhere nice and adult instead of standing in the kitchen trying to eat a sandwich and wash up etc!!!!

OP posts:

hennipenni · 28/08/2007 14:14

lisalisa, I found with mine that depending who they sit next too determines how they behave, so, i tend to split those up that I know will cause trouble/aggravate others. Another thing that I do (with parents blessing of course) is to tell them that if they leave the table between courses that, to me, means that they've finished, therefore they don't get anything else. Harsh I know but when you've got children who sit as good as gold with children who think they can get up from the table and come back when they want too it's sending out conflicting messages.

Original poster

S88AHG · 28/08/2007 14:20

hennipenni thats a good idea I like that they have to learn how to behave at the table. I know they dont behave like that at school for lunch so why here!!!

OP posts:

hennipenni · 28/08/2007 14:27

Oh S88AHG, that's my mantra! "would you do that at school?" "no" say mindess " then don't do it here either!".

Seriously, I think that it's very rude to mess about at the table and all my mindees know that!

Original poster

S88AHG · 28/08/2007 14:39

LOL very good I love it

OP posts:

lisalisa · 28/08/2007 16:55

Message withdrawn

Shoshable · 28/08/2007 17:09

Mine all sit nicely at the table, i ha booster seats for the younger ones, and maybe its cos the know I brook no arguements, but mine sit nicely, I have spare booster and have tpold them if they act lik ethe babies will they will have o sit in it, I have nevr had to use it!

But there again my 12 year old reckons Nanny McFee was based on me

gooseegg · 28/08/2007 17:25

I won't allow 'throwing and messing about with food' at the table by children older than babies who are able to understand our mealtime rules, but I don't mind it if children get down between courses.
There can be a big gap between the first one finishing what they want to eat of their first course (I don't mind and don't make a fuss if they don't eat it all or even if they only eat a tiny bit) and me serving the pudding.
Do you sit down to eat with them all and lead by example?
Have you involved them in making their own printed list of rules?
Laughing and giggling is nice to hear but not if it's because of silly anarchy at the table, although picnic type food can contribute to a more lax mealtime atmosphere.
Could you research some funny food/eating stories of other cultures/animals etc and experiment by telling stories to the children as a conversation topic whilst they eat?
We have got chopsticks in our children's cutlery jar and they always cause lots of laughing and ok mess when the children decide to use them instead of knives/forks/spoons.

smeeinit · 28/08/2007 17:31

not atall unreasonable!
im a bit of an old school mistress when it comes to table manners!
my mindees are expected to sit on their bottoms with elbows off the table and not fiddling with hair,feet,trousers,sox etc etc...!
also have to either go to the toilet before a meal or wait untill they finish, nothing annoys me more than halfway through a meal someone pipes up with "i need a wee!"

my children were taught to have good table manners and i could happily take them anywhere nice for a meal when they were small so i think it paid off!

NannyL · 28/08/2007 22:31

NOT unreasonable.

Mine are 4 and 23 months, the little one is in a high chair

my 4 year old HAS to sit 'nicely' with his bottom in the middle of the chair and his legs under the table and eat with nice manners.

He wouldnt even DREAM of throwing food

in the rare even that little one throws food his highchair is turned around 180 degrees to the table. He is also turned around when he has his huge stops about 'nothing'.

ayla99 · 29/08/2007 12:19

1st person to throw food has to wash up ???

mawbroon · 29/08/2007 12:37

S88AHG - do you sit at the table and eat with them? It's just you mention trying to eat a sanwich whilst washing up. Lead by example. Hard to tell them to sit still and eat if you're not. I did this with some mindees who thought it ok to wander around at mealtimes. Before each meal, we also reminded ourselves that we were all to sit at the table until everyone had finished and that there was to be no wandering about. It took a while, but the consistency paid off and we then started to enjoy some fun converstations over meals too. They were 4 and 8 btw and my ds was around a year so was confined to the highchair.

Original poster

S88AHG · 29/08/2007 13:43

I dont sit down with them mainly because I have something different to what I give them usually and I prefer to eat later than they have lunch. I understand what you are saying though.

OP posts:

mawbroon · 29/08/2007 14:06

I used to (not minding atm) eat lunch with them and also have a very small helping of the same dinner as they did and then have my proper dinner with dh after the mindees were away and ds was in bed. The little bit of food at their teatime kept me going through from the early lunch until the late tea with dh.

I also had a policy of everybody eating the same food as I wasn't going to start cooking this for one kid and that for another. We managed to find around 10 different dishes that everyone (including my baby ds) would eat and then rotated them so they didn't get bored.

It sounds really regimented, but I promise you that mealtimes became fun once the kids knew exactly what the rules and boundaries were and saw that they were to be taken seriously.

Original poster

S88AHG · 29/08/2007 14:25

Its only at lunchtimes and only in school holidays I have stopped doing evening meals for mindees as too much of a rush!!!! Only 2 more busy days to go am sure it will be better they were just awful yesterday am thinking about not doing school age school holiday minding as I am sure my own kids miss out a bit because of others being here.

OP posts:

mawbroon · 29/08/2007 14:37

Well, if it's only two more days, I would be tempted just to let them get on with it if it's not going to tip you over the edge before then!!

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