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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

If a mindee ruined your cot and it was unusable, what would you do?

186 replies

QueenEagle · 25/08/2007 12:06

2.5 year old ds is put in a travel cot for his afternoon nap. The other day he pulled off his pull up full of poo and covered the cot in it, getting it in the mesh and on the fabric. Minder says it is impossible to clean therefore unusable.

She wants me to replace it and says she has no insurance to cover such a loss.

Am I liable??????

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nappyaddict · 26/08/2007 15:45

ok, i wouldn't expect at work if something broke through no fault of my own to replace it. but if i was the boss and something got broken through no fault of my own i would expect to have to replace it out of my expenses. for instance i've broken many glasses at work. my boss has never asked me to pay for new ones. he just buys new ones every so often when we are running a bit low.

tuppy · 26/08/2007 16:02

What's so hard for the cm about taking it into the garden, hosing it down, donning some rubber gloves and just scrubbing out the poo in a solution of Persil bio or similar, followed by a light wipe over with a mild bleach solution ? Then let it dry in the sun. Half an hour tops. Offer the cm an extra hour's money to cover her time doing this ?

A cm is self employed so it's not really analogous to something breaking at work (a photocopier say) and one's employer asking one to fork out.

FioFio · 26/08/2007 16:10

This reply has been deleted

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FioFio · 26/08/2007 16:10

This reply has been deleted

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JeremyVile · 26/08/2007 16:11

To me its like taking your car to the garage for a service (crude analogy - I know!) and because your wheel nuts are too tight, the mechanic snaps his spanner (is that what they'd use?) trying to get them off.

As the customer, would you then expect to have to cover the cost of his tools? I know I wouldn't.

fawkeoff · 26/08/2007 16:12

yeah its not the best thing to be cleaning poo off but it will come off.

FrannyandZooey · 26/08/2007 16:50

No problem fawkeoff. Hope you feel better. I seem to have PMT too and I am not even due on

The antipathy towards childminders on here is depressing, for sure. Why would you leave your child with people who you are convinced are lying, lazy and grasping?

Ceolas · 26/08/2007 17:24

Reading the OP, my reaction was if it was my child, I'd be mortified and offer to buy a new one.

Never had a poo smearer. Never knew a poo smearer.

Your relationship with a good childminder is not worth sacrificing over this imo.

JeremyVile · 26/08/2007 17:39

F&Z - It riles me so much the way child carers are often talked about, as though they are just the hired help and of no value outside of the duties they are paid to perform.
Fwiw though, I really dont think that is the case on this thread - I hope not - I think the scenario has just got peoples backs up because we can all relate to the guilt and embarassment we'd feel if it were our child and it seems those feelings that are being played on by the CM. Obviously that only holds weight if you believe the cot is the CMs responsibility.
With regards to wondering why you would entrust your child to someone you believed to be pulling a fast one - well, I think the OP is far more gracious on this than I would be, it definitely would make me question her on an ethical/honesty level. But the OP has said that she is very happy with her when it comes to the care of her child and I guess its not beyond the realms of possibility that someone can be a fantastic child carer but be a bit clueless about her responsibilities regarding peripheral issues eg property damage/wear and tear.

gess · 26/08/2007 17:45

Many childminders provide fantastic care imo. DS1 broke the door off his CM's washing maching, she didn't ask me to pay. He also stuffed an ice lolly down the back of her sofa this week, so I'm pleased she doesn't ask me to pay to replace a sofa. I'm sure he;s done other hideous things in his time there.

I think in this case, unpleasant though the job may be (and I've wiped poo off many a wall in my time- it's a vile job- better than sick though), I do think her turf her responsibility. If she lent you a cot that your child then smeared poo over in your care then yes it would be your responsibilty, but not in this case.

mrspitt · 26/08/2007 18:43

My mindee aged 10mths, knocked my lamp off cd stacker type thingy and broke the shade, took a chunk out the wall and wallpaper and broke the back off the cd stand all in one go!
Parent said , OH! I wll replace it!
I said, Hazards of the job, really don't worry bout it! I was more concerned with little one being hurt by massive falling lamp!!!

He also mananged to find a black felt tip pen, bit tip off and salavated black ink all over cream carpet! Can't get stains out!!!
But IMO that's the responsibility of the job and you need to live with it!

Aitch · 26/08/2007 18:52

YES, it's technically the CM's responsibility but the CM doesn't think so... is it really worth potentially souring the relationship by putting your foot down? i don't think so.

belgo · 26/08/2007 18:54

oh a cream carpet and children just don't mix!

EscapeFrom · 26/08/2007 18:57

I've known a few poo smearers, and I don't even know that many kids. At 2.5 I can't imagine any but the most eloguent and restrained child remember ing that they are not allowed to do something they really want to do - isn't that the whole point of the terrible twos? They do as they please and hang the consequences?

A professional would know this too, I would expect. Some 2 year olds are just like that.

FrannyandZooey · 26/08/2007 19:10

No, I think the vitriol on here must come from something other than this simple difference of opinions as to whose fault it is.

The terms the childminder has been described in have been pretty unpleasant and it's been suggested she is lying, negligent, moneygrabbing, etc etc. All this from asking the employer to pay for an item that was damaged by the employer's child. She may or may not be in the right to ask this, but even if you think it's her responsibility to clean / replace it, it's quite a stretch from there to say she is a negligent, greedy liar.

FrannyandZooey · 26/08/2007 19:11

sorry should have said "whose responsibility" rather than "whose fault"

I don't think there is a fault here, unless QE knew that her ds was likely to do this and didn't warn the childminder / put him in clothes that stopped him from doing it

belgo · 26/08/2007 19:14

F&Z - ime, there are no clothes that stop a determined child's inquisitive hands doing this. Except duct tape, and believe me, we contemplated using that

FrannyandZooey · 26/08/2007 19:16

No belgo, I did say earlier that I knew there was no stopping some children [half grin half sympathy]

You would have warned the CM, though, if it had happened before?

EscapeFrom · 26/08/2007 19:16

I suspect it's an English Thing.

When we, as a nationality, damage someone's property, we are apologetic - and if it is another English person's property, then etiquette dictates that they insist it is no bother at all, that you should not mention it. Then YOU should insist on making a contribution, and so on, until an agreement is reached.

What I think we are NOT used to dealing with is "X has been damaged. I expect you to pay for it." It jolts our etiquette sensors, and we react with outrage.

belgo · 26/08/2007 19:54

F1Z - yes we did speak to the creche about it, and got a referral to a nurse specialising in behavioural issues. I have to say, it's one of the biggest challenges I faced yet as a parent. Fortunately my mil was sympathetic as one of her children did the same thing.

Hopefully the childminder will buy an easily washable cot - it can't be that unusual for a child to mess it up - with vomit for example.

belgo · 26/08/2007 19:54

I meant F&Z, not F1Z

gess · 26/08/2007 19:57

For anyone with this problem, Fledglings sell houdini suits. unfortunately when ds1 was going through his strip off and wee in the bed every night phase he point blank refused to wear one (as he knew he wouldn't be able to get it off). They work for some though and also have lots of advice about preventing poo smearing.

belgo · 26/08/2007 19:59

gess - are they a bit like straightjackets?

gess · 26/08/2007 20:06

more like sleepsuits, although I think a straighjacket might have suited ds1 more! I think they'll do the sleepsuits back to front if needs be. I linked to them on my website here. Your child doesn't have to have SN to use them! They're very friendly and would certainly help with an ongoing smearing problem.

fawkeoff · 26/08/2007 20:07

ds is 23 months and on many occasions i have found him peeing and crapping in both his cot and travel cot....i just had to clean it as i wasnt going to pay for another one that he was more than likely going to do the same to.Even if she does get bought a new travel cot whos to say that the same thing isnt going to happen in the future with another child she looks after???? will she expect another cot of that person as well.

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