Childminder Hell

[Misshaversam]

Hello!

My daughter has been going to the same childminder since October 2018. I knew she was a little "rough around the edges" however she's always looked after my daughter in what I consider to be good way and heart seemed to be in the right place. She had a "good" rating with OFSTED and always seems to have children queuing to join.

Over the course of the year I've had various niggles with her, but always balanced it in my mind that it's worth "choosing your battles" instead of voicing everything you consider a fault. One of my problems are the Facebook posts to the private group that constantly reiterate keeping children off if they are ill, reminding parents to pay on time, or cryptic posts about "big changes ahead". My other is her gossipy nature. Whenever I am dropping off or collect she talks about every other parents business. Over the year this has got worse, I always try and be polite and cut her off, but not before she has tried to run everybody down. She's basically become like a school bully. When she was being derogatory about another parent her phrase was "parents need me far more than I need them". This has really stuck with me because it's like she believes can behave how she wants, knowing that parents can do little to change their childminder overnight.

2 weeks ago, I went to collect my daughter and another little girl was crying. I asked what was wrong and she replied "she's a maungy chuffer" I was really shocked at this and left. I asked my husband if he thought it way over the line and he agreed. As it happened, my daughter ended up in hospital with a bad chest infection and my mum looked after her at home whilst I was working last week. I had planned on handing my notice in regardless but properly in writing once toddler was fit and well.

I always paid her on the 28th of every month and was under the impression I was paying her from the 28th until the 28th. She text me her bill last week that was almost £40 MORE than I usually paid. I replied that I didn't have the same figure, and could she just give me the dates she was billing me to. I didn't get a straight answer at all and instead got a confrontational text message telling me she'd "never fiddled anybody". All I'd asked for was a receipt to explain to difference, which I still hadn't got. She then told me she was with company and wouldn't be replying to anymore messages, then stayed on WhatsApp for 4 hours.

I text her the following day to say my daughter wouldn't be coming anymore and that I didn't like her confrontational manner when I'd never paid her a day late in my life. I posted the full amount she had billed me for through her letterbox that evening.

She has just text me now wanting to know if I intend on paying my notice period, so she can let her insurance know? I will pay whatever I owe her as she's told me many times how she takes parents to court that don't pay, I just feel like she does whatever she likes, says whatever she likes, and all this message is, is an underneath threat. I've half a mind to report her to ofsted. Just so fed up.

I think there are things here that are not ok and things that are normal. The Facebook reminders seem pretty standard and if she has had problems with ill children and late payments she will want to remind people about those things. The gossiping is entirely inappropriate as is name-calling, I had similar with a childminder being rude about a child in her care when I went to visit to see if she was right for me, needless to say, she wasn’t!

The payment thing is weird and I think I would have paid the standard amount and held out for the bill,’especially if dc was not returning. I might still be inclined to say that the £40 is to be taken from the notice fees unless it can be justified.

All in all, you are definitely doing the right thing by looking elsewhere for childcare but unless you have some evidence of unprofessional behaviour , I’m not sure Ofsted will be interested. Nothing you mention would be an urgent safeguarding concern but I imagine others will vote with their feet if she’s like that with everyone.

I don’t get the £40 thing .

The late pay is tough if you have a late payer same with sickness.

The rest doesn’t sound somewhere I would want my child .

That said I do think you are liable for the notice period.

I think some of the other parents have messed her around with payments and illness, so she sends frequent reminders. Gossiping about other parents is not very professional. She shouldn't be calling children names.

I would reiterate that as soon as you have the breakdown of the fees you have already paid this month and an invoice for the notice period, you are happy to pay. Keep a copy of that message, so if she does go through her insurance you can show you have offered to pay.

Hi, sorry you are going through this, do you mean were you paying the same amount each month but this month it’s more? Has she charged for the up coming Christmas bank holidays? My invoices to parents differ each month as I based it upon the number of days they come to me each week and how many of them are in that month. E.g Tuesday only it’s sometimes 4 or 5 weeks they are billed for but all bills have to be paid by the last working day of the month. There is nothing wrong with reminders about paying on time or not sending in sick children as this is the biggest bug bear of all childcare providers, parents paying late and sending sick kids so everyone else gets it . I would just ask for your final bill , pay it and try to put it all behind you.

Dosent the amount paid vary by 1 days money depending on a 30 or 31 day month?
She shouldn't be discussing other families or swearing/name calling....never heard the term. You would need to follow her complaints procedure.
You would need to pay notice.

Elements of this are decidedly dodgy at a business level: such as her sending you a figure by text message that you don’t even know what you are being charged for. Do you have proper, itemised invoices from previous months or has the account always been bodged like this? Do you have a contract and schedule of charges with which to work out what you are being billed for?

You can dispute her charges since you think you’ve paid too much already. You might also be able to contest the sum due for the notice period. But a lot will depend on the paperwork.

I hope you're resolved this by now. If not I would suggest keeping to the line that you are happy to pay but you need an invoice detailing dates for the last payment (including the £40) and the notice period. And do it in writing.

No court is going to find you at fault if you have politely made multiple attempts to get an invoice from her and she hasn't supplied one that explains how much you owe and why.

I’m sorry, that sounds like a rubbish experience.
She doesn’t sound very professional at all, or like a very good childminder. I’m glad you’ve given notice and things seem to be sorted.
You can’t report her for ofsted for any of the things you’ve mentioned- they aren’t interested in parental disputes to do with payments/ professionalism/ arguments etc. They’re interested in serious safeguarding concerns or children being at risk and it doesn’t sound like that is the case here.