Settling in

[recreationalcalpol]

My DH is going back to work after parental leave so my 14 month old is starting with a CM full time. DH told me today that the CM suggested a two week settling period (fine) but that on the first day of the settling in, my DH should just drop my DS off and go. DS has never met CM before, so surely this isn’t right? I thought it would be normal for DH to stay for an hour or so. DH is adamant that I’m being ridiculous

It's unusual to choose a cm you haven't seen interact with DC. I say that as a cm. Usually parents would visit a couple of times with a cold before leaving them for a 2h period the first time. Then a plan is made depending on the child, parent and timescale.

That said I've done emergency care before now without any settling and 98% of the time the child is fine. Is DC used to being left with other family members?

*with a child!

Did you not take your child to meet the cm when you went to meet her.
I do settling in for new starts for 2 or 3 weeks before hand. No parents have ever stayed. That would be pretty inconvenient for me and for the other children.

Also could make your dd thinn that's what will happen the next time she goes, and that could make it harder for her to settle.

We did take him when we met her, but it was a few months ago and he won’t remember

As a childminder I do 2 settle sessions before a child’s starting day of 2 hours each time.
Child will usually of visited twice with parents before that to meet and do paperwork.

It seems to be more usual for a parent to stay at first.

That said, each childminder has their own way of doing things. There’s nothing to say one way is 'right' or better than any other way. The truth is, no matter how much people bang on about settling in techniques, there is no definitive research or evidence as to what (if anything) works best.

Just playing devil's advocate for a moment, I can see how having a mum hanging on might even make the moment of separation even harder.

And, given all the safeguarding panic around who is allowed contact with children’s, there’s a degree of inconsistency about (with respect) a stranger being around the other minded children, even under supervision.

Hi, As a childminder the child comes for 2 lots of 2 hours on there own with out the parent, At the most a parent stays 10 mins just to do a hand over .there is no point to settling in sessions if the parent stays. As this teaches the child when I go to this house mum/dad stay too.

Thanks all x

I meet the children when they come with the parents for a chat. Then I do all the paperwork with parents. I offer a home visit, which is not always taken up. Then the child comes for a settling in session without their parents. Until the parents leave, the child won't start to settle. It is also upsetting for the other children if a strange adult comes in. I have only once started a child who had never met me and she was absolutely fine about it. Please try not to worry.

Yep 2 meetings the first a chat second paperwork then an hour settling on their own. I cant get to know baby if parent is there becouse they will stick to parent. Second time longer hopefully a feed and nap may do a third or fourth if we dont get them in