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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AIBU - Nanny wants extra payment

73 replies

MoneysTooTightTooMention · 17/10/2019 18:06

We have an after school Nanny, ie someone who looks after my children for 3 and half hours after school every weekday. That is what she is contracted to do.

This is not a cheap option, by any means and is just about affordable for us if we scrimp in other areas.

Thing is, once a week child B goes to an after school club for an hour and has just started a club 5 minutes drive from us. Child A also does a class twice a week. Child A is in senior school so doesn't really need looking after but isn't comfortable being home alone for more than half hour or so.

Child B has been round a friend's after school today and Child A isn't doing her usual club today.

The Nanny has asked for extra to cover petrol costs for this week. Aibu to feel a bit put out?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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BuildBuildings · 17/10/2019 21:16

We get 45p per mile at work so if she does 1.6 miles there and back x2 it's £2.88. Why should she be out if pocket for this? Your ability to afford it isn't her problem.

Abracad · 17/10/2019 21:19

Think of it this way. If your boss asked you to work an extra hour each week but didn’t want to pay you, would that be fair? Your struggle isn’t her problem. She isn’t doing you a favour. She is working in return for being paid. If you’re struggling to find the money, that is your problem.

JellyBellies · 17/10/2019 21:19

This seems such an odd way of doing it. Our after-school nanny logs all her trips on a spreadsheet with the distances. Every month we pay her 45p per mile.

It sounds as if you are resenting having the nanny. If you kids are older then surely you can ask her to do things in the house that makes it seem worthwhile?

For example my after-school nanny today folded 2 baskets of laundry, made fishcakes for all of us and loaded the dishwasher.

msmith501 · 17/10/2019 21:21

I wouldn't be just paying for petrol, I would be reimbursing as per the AA's mileage rates that cover wear and tear, tyres etc. Last time I checked it was 50p / mile. Why should your Nanny be out of pocket just because you've changed your routine? Don't be so entitled.

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 21:27

JellyBellies
That's the sensible way to do it. Log the miles and pay the HMRC rate for mileage to consider wear and tear and fuel.

BloggersBlog · 17/10/2019 21:30

Why WOULDNT you pay her?

BrieAndChilli · 17/10/2019 21:36

I’m a bit that you now pay her £2.50 a week for petrol INSTEAD of a pay rise!!!! One has nothing to do with the other. A pay rise is her wages. Petrol is an expense.

If you want someone who absorbs all these costs into her charges then you need a childminder but that would be at her house and she would then be responsible for paying her own petrol etc as self employed.

Do you pay nanny tax and NI??? Or are you paying her cash in hand illegally?

Original poster

MoneysTooTightTooMention · 17/10/2019 21:39

Ok, fair enough. I am BU. I suppose it's just her wages are a huge chunk out of our wages and have been trying to think of other ways to get childcare that won't disrupt the children. I will pay it but when we're trying to save money then get another extra charge it just stung a bit, is all.

OP posts:

nannynick · 17/10/2019 21:39

Mileage could be paid daily, weekly, bi-weekly, 4-weekly, monthly... it doesn't matter when it's paid as long as it suits both parties concerned. Mileage payments don't go through payroll (as long as it's paid at no more than 45p per mile and is less than 10,000 annual miles), so it's not something that needs to be added to the payslip.

If all the trips regularly occur, then mileage could even be paid in advance.

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 21:42

I'm glad you've decided you're being unreasonable and need to cover proper mileage.

There's two things:

Her pay for doing her job
Mileage to cover petrol, wear and tear as part of transport she makes in her role

Both should be paid and recorded properly.

Your personal desire to save money doesn't change your responsibility as her employer to have things done properly. If you can't afford a nanny done properly and want to save then alternative childcare would be required.

Original poster

MoneysTooTightTooMention · 17/10/2019 21:42

@BrieAndChilli she's self employed so pays her own tax and NI

OP posts:

comedycentral · 17/10/2019 21:43

If money is so tight, why all the extra curricular activities? Most kids want to just come home and play. Take the financial burden away.

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 21:44

she's self employed so pays her own tax and NI
The wise ones on MN will know more than me on this but my understanding was rules changed on when someone can be considered self employed and nannies almost always don't count due to having their hours etc dictated.

I thought employing a nanny (unless you pay an agency for a service) meant the family was the employer and had a responsibility to pay tax, national insurance, sick/holiday pay, workplace pension.

nannynick · 17/10/2019 21:45

Child B has been round a friend's after school today and Child A isn't doing her usual club today.

So this should be reflected in the mileage claim for today if it has meant that nanny has not had to drive them as far today.

With ChildB at a friends after school today maybe you did not really need childcare at all, but ChildA may be 12 years old and may still need an adult around. As children get older you need to revise their care needs. Maybe having a nanny is no longer the solution, so look at other options if there are any.

Loopytiles · 17/10/2019 21:47

Again, the cost of the childcare you’ve chosen as a proportion of your income is by the by.

A nanny is an expensive form of childcare. Your choices are to pay what it costs, or do what most of us do and use cheaper childcare with other disadvantages, eg your DC won’t be at home or able to attend clubs after school.

She’s v v unlikely to be self employed for tax purposes working the hours she does for you.

BrieAndChilli · 17/10/2019 21:48

Going by this you can’t be a self employed nanny unless you work for 3 or more families and can pick and choose your hours. The onus is on you to make sure Paye and tax is paid and I’m sure if HMRC investigates you would get into a lot of trouble
nannypaye.co.uk/can-a-nanny-be-self-employed

feistymumma · 17/10/2019 21:49

Is this a serious question? So you expect your nanny to ferry your children around on her fuel? The world is going mad

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 21:50

She’s v v unlikely to be self employed for tax purposes working the hours she does for you.
That's what I thought.

It sounds like the OP is cutting corners to keep her financial obligations to a minimum whilst depriving the nanny of her legal employment rights.
If she's finding it a bit of a sticking point to pay proper mileage I should imagine it would be a shock to pay for a nanny legitimately through HMRC rules.

Fatted · 17/10/2019 21:51

Surely the easiest way to save money is to ditch all the after school clubs for your kids and just have the nanny looking after them at home?!

My kids don't do after school clubs because DH and I are both in work after school. The DC go to a childminder after school. Your DC need to learn to make some sacrifices.

Loopytiles · 17/10/2019 21:51

Yep, PAYE ain’t cheap!

Storm86 · 17/10/2019 21:57

I can't believe you actually think it's ok to expect your nanny to stump up for fuel , they are not her children so why should she be out of pocket. If you can't afford a nanny then find alternative childcare

Pumpkintopf · 17/10/2019 22:00

her wages are a huge chunk out of our wages

Yes, that's how childcare works. If this isn't affordable for you op you need to find another option (with potential trade offs) rather than being resentful about paying this person the wage you agreed.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 17/10/2019 22:06

@BrieAndChilli she's self employed so pays her own tax and NI

Really? It's very unlikely that she is. Have you had that confirmed by an employment lawyer?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 17/10/2019 22:07

Sorry as in it's unlikely that she passes the test for self employment. Not unlikely at all that you/she/both say she is SE.

Wildorchidz · 17/10/2019 22:10

her wages are a huge chunk out of our wages

And why is that her problem??
That’s life when you need childcare.

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