Thinking about finding a nanny - what to expect/ask for?

[chickpea1982]

Hello everyone. I'm new to Mumsnet - this is my first post. I'm hoping for some advice about finding a nanny.

My husband and I have two children - 18 months and 3. We are thinking about a third (me more than him if I'm honest!), but it's hard enough with two already so we're thinking how we could make it work with a bit of help. I am a bit torn about this - I don't want to outsource all childcare to someone else, I want to be involved in my childrens' lives. But at the same time, I want to keep my job, and looking after three would be even harder than it is with two.

What I don't know is what kind of thing to ask for. If we had a third then I'd want some help during maternity leave, but not full time, and including some evenings and weekends. Then when I go back to work we'd either want full time day care for the younger two say 4 days a week, plus a few evenings to say 7 and maybe a bit of help at the weekend, OR the kids go to nursery/school during the day and we just get some help in the evenings and weekends so that we can have a bit of a break. Are there nannies who do these kinds of hours? It might work for someone who wants to work around studying maybe, I just don't know.

There's also the housework - can you ask a nanny to help with that, or would that be taken badly? We have a cleaner once every two weeks, but we're thinking that if we have a third we might need more help.

I'd really appreciate any advice on what to ask for, particularly around hours of work. Also - what do nannies get paid these days (probably a whole other thread!)?

Thanks in advance,

Chickpea

Tbh, it’s difficult to find someone to do odd hours here and there. However, you can always advertise what you want and see who applies.
I think it’s common for nannies to do nursery duties such as children’s laundry and ironing but if you want the person to do the cleaning, you’ll need to ask for a nanny-housekeeper.

In terms of pay, with 3 small children and unusual hours, I’d expect you’d need to offer quite a high rate to make it attractive. The exact number depends on location.

I don't want to outsource all childcare to someone else, I want to be involved in my childrens' lives.
Is part-time an option? As a nanny I have worked for many years doing 3 to 4 long days per week with parents then being with their children for 3 to 4 days. If your work would enable you to work same hours but over less days, that could be an option to look at.

If we had a third then I'd want some help during maternity leave, but not full time
Think about what sort of help you would want during that time. Depending on what childcare you use for your children currently, you may want more household help, such as a cleaner, than childcare help. If it is childcare help you need, then consider if having someone come in one or two days per week would work, as finding someone to do whole days can be easier than finding someone to do just a few hours.

Do you have someone/several people you already use for ad-hoc babysitting? They may be able to help out with occasional evenings and weekends and have the benefit of already knowing you and your children. If you don't have anyone that babysits for you already, perhaps try to find someone who could start doing that, so they get to know your family now with a view to doing more hours later on.

Nannies often work a 12 hour day, so 7am-7pm would not be unexpected. Personally I prefer 7.30am-7.30pm but that's because I don't want to be getting up really really early.

Pay varies on location and the nannies experience to an extent. Personally for a 12 hour day I would be expecting a gross pay of around £150-£170 and I am in the West Surrey/Berkshire border area.
Cost to employer for that is dependent on the number of hours per week, but if it was say 36 hours over 3 days, then roughly £28,000 plus activities/mileage.

That’s what we found when we wanted someone to work part-time. The nannies generally wanted to do long hours over 2-3 days... It’ll probably be trickier to find someone to do, say, 5h per day.

As a nanny I'd recommend thinking about what you need in terms of hours and days. I know that finding a nanny can seem odd but it's about you and your needs. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need in an advert and then you can discuss it further when you find the right candidate. Many nannies are open to the idea of housework/pa duties/shared care with mum and flexible hours. Just always remember that this is their job and they have their own responsibilities too! Primarily, the relationship between nanny and employer is about open communication and honesty so as long as you're upfront you'll be fine!

The other option is a nanny share which sounds like it might be a good fit for you?