Childcare at 3 months old

[Honeyandlemon19]

Hi all.

Not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this. I almost feel like I fully expect to be told what a terrible mother I’m being and deserve to hear it. My head is all over the place and I just need somewhere to write all this down.

I have a 2 week old baby and am due to complete my final year of uni starting late September/October. My course is mostly reading based so I’m actually only in class for 9 hours a week and can be at home the rest of the time. My uni have offered me a childcare place for her during term time. It’s a full time place but I only have to put her in for the hours I need.

I don’t get my timetable until early September but usually I’m in 2/3 days a week so she will either be in for several short days or a couple of longer days just depending on the scheduling of classes.

My heart is literally breaking at the thought of leaving her with strangers at 11-12 weeks old even if it is for just a few hours at a time. But I feel like we have no other option. We have no family that can help with looking after her and deferring for a year or even a few months isn’t really an option due to finances.

I just don’t know how a baby that young will be okay without her mum. We’re going to try our best to have some sort of routine going by then but she’ll still be so little. I know that maybe by then I’ll be ready for some time to myself even if it is only for a few hours a week but right now I just can’t bare the thought of it, it’s really getting me down.

Is it just awful to be doing this?

No it's not awful. Many parents have to go back to work when their baby is still young . You are going to uni to improve your future for you and your baby

Is there a nursery at the uni ?

How about a childminder ? Sometimes a lot more personal than a nursery which might help your anxiety

You are doing great

Hi OP,
First of all, as a mum, no matter what you do, you're always going to feel 'mum guilt'. I put my DD in full time at 10 months, and in some ways she understood more what was happening, so was extremely upset/ confused initially, whereas there was a 5 month old in her baby room who was perfectly happy/ content. Just to say though, she absolutely loves it now, it only took a couple of weeks to settle.
Also there's the fact that you're bettering yourself, your education, your career prospects, you provide better for her in the long term- please don't feel bad about that, as that's an amazing achievement. And you've said you've no family that can help, so you're doing your best.
Is it on campus? Can you pop in for visits? Also the fact that it's only 2-3 days, or a mixture of mornings etc, it will be completely fine, and you'll see her lots in between.
Finally, just to note in the US, the majority of mothers have to return to work at around that time, it's very common there, I know that doesn't make it any easier, but just to say you'll will get through it

Hi. One of my friends placed her even younger baby with a CM in similar circs (college course). All was well.

Baby was bf, bottle refuser, syringe fed and it was fine.

Most private day nurseries are from 3 months up. They wouldn't be if people didn't need them to be.

I went back to work when my first was 16 weeks, because it was what we needed for the household budget and my mental health. I have no regrets or guilt about it. DS was fine without me and it was much easier than with the second, who I stayed at home for longer with.

Please don't feel bad OP. Your baby won't even remember being in childcare and you are working on your future. I think it is much better this way than you deferring and maybe not finishing your uni course.

Could Uni accommodate you doing one day per week?

I started caring for a 4 week old baby whilst her mum attended Uni one day per week - one long day, I did 7am-6pm.

A nanny is not a cheap option but is one to consider, especially if you can get to be in Uni only one day per week.

For two/three days, I would look at a local childminder, see if the hours of care you need would fit for them.

Hi all,

Thanks so much for your replies.

The creche is on campus yes so I’ll never be too far away from her and depending on my timetable I could potentially nip in and see her in between classes (though wouldn’t want to disrupt her as this might upset/confuse her more but it’s an option).

I think I’ll only know better how I feel about it once I know how many days and hours she’ll actually need to be in there when I get my timetable in early September. I’d have to leave her eventually, whether it’s this year, next year or when I start working full time again, which I was always ok with but it’s just the thought of her still being so little that kills me. Also the fact she’s very unsettled at the minute I’m finding it hard to feel like she’ll get the attention she needs.

It’s true what they say, nothing really prepares you for the overwhelming love and worry you have for these little humans until they are here

Xx

There was a 3mo in nursery when DD started and she got so much attention! Honestly I wouldn't worry about that aspect at all.

I'm a cm and have minded children from 6 weeks old, when mum was in a similar situation to you. I agree with pp, in good childcare your baby will be absolutely cared for and loved. Mum guilt gets you one way or another. I'd look for a good cm if I was you, a smaller setting might suit a very young baby better, giving them stability of the same career who isn't you.

*carer

If your time table is line my DD's it will be fine - you'll have time to pop to the crèche to feed, on days without lectures you could drop her off for 2-3 hours so you can get reading, coursework done etc. Many babies have to go to nursery full time at that age, remember your degree will help her future