Concerns regarding au pairs references, opinions please (sorry long)

[StarryStarryNight]

Girl 1.
It is probably strikingly obvious, but she seems to be so nice, have good experience, but I have issues with her references. She has been nanny for 7 months in Poland, and summer au pair in London from March to July, she is currently in Poland, with a return ticket in August.

She emailed me a reference (unsigned) from a man in Poland with his address and phone number. Cant get through on the phone.
I emailed her and told her that, and I ask for references from her employer in London and a phone number to call. She emails back 4 days later, apologizing saying she has connectivity issues, gives me a new number, a UK mobile number, so I dont know if it is for her English employer, or her Poland employer who is now in Poland. Tried to call her, but cant get through. The UK mobile number is not working either.

So, in effect, I can not check her references.

Girl 2.
She is currently au pair in Germany for the last 9 months, due to go back to Poland shortly. I have asked her for reference for this family and a phone number to call, but she has ignored this question, possibly because she is still working there and might not have handed her notice in. She seems very nice, have sent lots of photos of herself and the kids, and has been working in nursery with disabled children and a dance instructor for teenagers. She wants to study to become a teacher and needs better English.

I am really in two minds, I have been searching long, and there really seem to be hard at the moment to find good girls.

Do references not mean anything anymore? Should I give girl one the benefit of the doubt, or forget her? Should I push girl 2 harder for references, have my polish husband call her and find out what the issue is?

At this rate I will be looking for a part time live out nanny next, and that would not be as good as somebody live in. I cant afford a qualified live in nanny, and the kids are at school and nursery (part time nursery). I work part time.

Any suggestions?

Alycat - thanks for that - I really didn't know - would very much appreciate link if you have it

I'm not sure, but i think I recall that you were looking specifically for a Polish girl, is that right?

I can certainly preach for hours about how to hire a nanny when not offering top market rates. I know that tune oh so well.

Eleusis yes, I am looking for a polish girl. My husband is polish, it makes it easier for us to have a polish girl than hungarian or french for example. Also because we are raising our boys trilingual (trying to at least), and a polish girl would be able to read some of our polish books to them, and sing polish nursery rhymes, etc.

Is it possible to advertise in Poland? Put an ad in paper ther and give an e-mail address?

Eleusis, that is a good idea, but I think it will be tricky to find out what paper to advertise in.

I should maybe ask my last au pair, she was such a great girl, she might have friends...

I like Polish girls and have had two as daily aupairs, the trouble is they get more money as cleaners now, £7.50 an hour, minimum here in Herts, so do that instead.

Mine left after 2 years and rents a flat in ther city centre with boyfriend who does gardening and she cleans all day long making a fortune!

Well it is progression, I would not want a girl who has no other life ambition than staying an au pair. However, cant see that becoming a cleaner is a very longsighted ambition either, wouldnt nanny be a better step up? My last au pair spoke so well English I gave her the floodlight catalogue and said chose any course that does not conflict with your hours. She chose Fitness Instructor Gym. Has now moved out and works as a gym instructor, planning to become a personal fitness trainer. I rather have a girl in my home with plans and stamina to carry it out.

However, FINDING such a girl is proving rather difficult! I have this horrible childcare situation to sort out, and now I only have one week to do it in....

Nah cleaners definately earn more than nannies, well they do in my area anyway.

Maybe nannyj, but what career progression is there in cleaning? As a nanny, you have many more options, dont you? Assuming you were to move away from nannying?

NKF - Our perks are fridge/kettle/tv/dvd/cd in room. Sole use of laptop and free access to 8meg broadband whilst here. Free English courses at local college - 1 train stop away. 2(or more) 5* holidays a year - we took our lovely 17yr old Finn to Cyprus for 2 weeks all expenses paid in July(and wages paid although still work hours). We are going to EuroDisney in Autumn, Chicago and Devon in March, Italy in July. We also keep ponies, which some people have been interested in.

And obviously our adorable DCs!

Ours is going back to finish her a level =, but may take a year out to improve her English as she wants to study Phsycology in England so may come back to us next year.

Quattro am just looking!

I've had lots of aupairs now, and I don't bother with references. The only bad choices I have made have come via an agency where I did have references. All the ones I've recruited myself (through Aupairworld.net) have been fine.

I tend to pre-screen them by their profiles to give a good chance of success. I like them young (18-21), doing their gap year before going off to some fantastic uni course.

There are loads of good girls on aupairworld.net. When I was advertising for my next aupair, I was really spoilt for choice - had about a dozen really good candidates to choose from.

Quattro,

Look here CV Checks

Also can get 10% off if quote APUK266 (the discount is really aimed at APs from that website but I'm sure you could blag it!) don't know how much it is but may be worth a look. Says they do passport verification and visa checks etc

science,
last time I used aupair world I had 5-6 applications daily! I did not contact even ONE girl myself first. I was spoilt for choice. Picking my au pair was not hard at all.

This time it is horrible. I have had 3 applications in 2 weeks. I have contacted 30 odd girls. Half have said no, the other half, have been a mediocre lot.

Regards to references, with the bloke my friend spoke to today for reference, I think he was the girls boyfriend in London (london mobile) posing as employer. SHE said she was looking after a 2 year old, HE said she was looking after a 6 and an 8 year old. I have spoken to my friend in detail about the conversation, and he sounded like a sleepy teenager who did not know what to say, rather than a working family father. I would have brought this deceiptful girl to my home to care for my children had I not made a point about the reference.

I would walk away from this one, SSN. You have to go with your instincts.

Can you vamp up your profile on APW - really sell the job? You also need to check in every day to keep your profile bumped up.

I don't think my job is inherently attractive (5 kids, 20 miles from London), but still get loads of applications. I also have a webpage where I can quickly share additional details and add answers to typical questions.

It might be a question of timing. The au pairs will start looking at the end of the summer holidays.

I sent an email to Girl 1, where the reference did not check out as I suspect it was her boyfriend, basically saying I was sorry but we would not take this further with her as her reference was not very favourable. If he really was her boyfriend, it might make her think twice?

I will have a closer look at my profile. I have lots of pics of us and the boys, nice pictures.

I am not selling myself I suppose, I am honest about what it is like, and I am emphsaising the great area we live in (south west london) with close links to central london, great city centres nearby, and plenty of parks.

I try to sell the London bit on my profile - train info (35 minutes from Waterloo), and also talk about local free language classes, and other local attractions.

The kind of au pairs I am looking for are the ones who basically want to spend a year in or near London.

I also mention money and terms on the profile.

Science, I have updated mine with less information, maybe it was too heavy duty to read for somebody who dont speak english well.

I have taken away the money bit from mine. As I can only afford to pay the standard rates. I do mention the train, it takes just 30 minutes to central london, I mention the river and parks, tennis courts, leisure gentre and swimming pools locally.

I am not giving info on english courses as they are not free, cost ranging from £140 per week, to £180 for 20 weeks. But I am looking for au pair plus, and if they want english courses it will be hard to combine this with their duties. I dont know where to find free language courses, could you recommend something?

You don't sound too far from me, SSN. I live in Staines, and we have free language classes in Staines, Egham, and beyond, and there are both day and evening classes available.

It's really good for an aupair to do classes because that way she will make friends. It's something to really encourage, and part of the aupair ethos.

Science, I am in Putney, which is still London.
I havent found any free classes around here. Are yours through your local colleges? Are they offered by the council?

They are funded by the borough adult education dept, and located wherever adult education takes place

Science, thanks. I have checked, our local colleges has stopped doing this. I shall look out for other suitable courses which I may offer to pay for au pair after christmas when she has proved her suitability with our family, as part of her Au Pair plus payment.

Fingers crossed! I have been talking at lenght with a 19 year old norwegian girl on msn today, and it is looking promising, I have photocopy of her passport, and she will get back to me with phone number I can call for somebody she has been babysitting with a lot. please please please let something work out!!! [fingers and toes crossed emoticon]

starrystarrynight, my au pairs have been a physiotherapist, a dentist, and a teacher with a law degree, but they earn more as cleaners here. The last one ssposke fluent Japanese and mandarin, but was perfecting her english, so I don't know what careeer progression they should be looking for

The dentist was saving to set up here or buy into a practice.

Admittedly they are not in their teens, but none have been older than 26 years old

I'm live in nanny, and the perks that have made me choose my job over the other I was offered was fridge, wireless (I'll have to bring my own laptop though), seperate bathroom (big big perk) and the fact the family doesnt want to eat with me at night, my last job did sometimes require it and I spent SO LONG waiting when I could be sleeping or doing something else!