Do I laugh or do I cry?

[squiffy]

Well, the last few weeks have been interesting......I have posted before under different name asking advice regarding our live-in nanny, who was going down the local pub moaning she was underpaid/overworked (she was on 260 net outside London, and got large cash bonuses on top). Well, slowly more info started to seep through..... smoking whilst looking after my DD, spending up to an 2 hours a day phoning abroad, and so on. All infuriating stuff but nothing big enough to legally get rid of her. The final straw was this weekend when we found out that she had allegedly (have to be careful legally here, just in case) been helping herself to money left lying round the house. So yesterday I trawled through the websites to start looking for a replacement, and then I trawled through the legal sites checking up on my legal position, getting everything together to give her her notice.. came home last night to find out that she had resigned because she wanted to move in with her boyfriend, was probably not going to be able to serve her notice period due to 'stress' which she thought might last all the way through the notice period, had cleared out her room, and gone.

So I am now totally nannyless, my DH is away on business trips till the 11th August, I am trying to hold down a full-time job in the city, my parents are just about to go away for a break, and the house is a tip!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you know what? I can't stop about it all. My boss will be fuming because I am going to have to do 10-4.30 instead of the normal 8-6 whilst I try desperately to find someone new but I feel as if the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I had been feeling so guilty about letting her go knowing she will find it really hard to get an equivalent job, and worrying about our legal position and now it is all over. I know it will be a nightmare trying to find someone new and I will go through hell and back in the process, but, hey, just for today, I am going to non-stop.

where do you live Squiffy?

We might be able to find you a new nanny!

Better no nanny than a nightmare nanny IMHO!

Hooray! Isn't it great when a problem solves itself? Mind you, I'd be growling that I hadn't had the chance to tell her what I thought of her, but then that's just my nasty nature

Will you let her have a reference if she asks for one? It might be worth having a think about it.

Our old (crap) nanny resigned on the spot just as we were about to pay her off with 6 week's money. She asked me for a reference and I said that all I could say in a reference was that she worked for us from x date to y date and what her hours were (oh and the fact that she left without working her notice...). There was no way I was prepared to recommend her to anyone else - I couldn't have it on my conscience.

We found a (fab) new nanny 2 days later.

We live in the Kent countryside, big farmhouse, lots of horseriding trails, close to Whitstable/Canterbury. Would be great if there were any nannies on the site looking for something.... we can tempt them with a gym & jacuzzi at home, and a holiday home in the French Riviera (and we can then scare them off with the 'wet towel on the floor' habit that my DH has). Oh, and the next nanny is going to have the most watertight contract it is in my power to conjure up - heaven help the next one if she so much as even contemplates lighting up

Oh Squiffy, what a relief. Congratulations. This happened oto me once. Just as I had worked out how to let one go, she beat me to it. And oh what a relief it was. I know just how you feel.

Sounds like a lovely job to me. Do you think you could get a student in for a few weeks to cover the rest of the summer until you sort out something more permanent.

Probably worth a quick ad on nannyjob and gumtree.

How old are the kids?

if you do go the nannyjob / gumtree route, you might want to consider using a new CV checking service that kiwioznannies are doing - they sent me an email about it this morning. will post details if you're interested.

Would you consider using an agency? A good reputable one will have checked refs, etc and will at least hopefully send you some good candidates.

Who needs an agency when they have mumsnet?

My sister is looking for some babysitting work over the summer til her teaching starts up again. But, you's have to fly her in from Chicago.

Sorry, just making light of the situation.

You could even try a local nursery as a temporary thing - it's summer so children might be away on holiday with their parents. Worth ringing around and asking if you can't find an emergency replacement...

Wow, my faith in human nature has been restored. Apart from all your supportive messages, the local nursery where the kids go 2 days a week already have come up trumps and sorted me out for August in terms of most of my needs; a friend has found me a uni student looking for cash and she spent the whole of yesterday doing loads of household/cleaning jobs for me so I can free myself up more, and another friend has offered to pitch in with wrap-around care if needed. So immediate crisis is over and I have about a month to sort out a permanent nanny. We only have one really local agency and I am a bit hesitant to use it because I might then find that the nanny has registered with them - it will be difficult to explain all the circumstances without putting the knife in, and I need to avoid doing that: whilst I won't be giving her glowing recommendations, I've not enough malice to actively seek to spoil her chances of getting a job - it will be 'buyer beware' from my point of view.

So it's down to asking everyone I know if they know of someone, and posting on the aupair-world type sites and Gumtree for the moment. Fingers crossed.

Squiffy, are you offering live-in?

Yes, eleusis, it is live-in... and we are nice I promise (except for the odd rant on other threads.... ahem.... )

I'm sure you are lovely. In fact, my DH like to do day trips to Kent. We should meet up sometime.

But, the reason I asked is because if you are offering live-in you might find some success on greataupair.com. You will have to sift through a lot of unqualified au pairs. But if you hire someone from a commonwealth country (i.e. Canda, New Zealand, etc.) they can come in onholiday maker visa, speak english well, and don't cost fortune -- well not as big of a fortune anyway.

yes, us colonials are great value for money and work really hard .

If you're thinking nanny prices rather than au pair prices, both of the agencies I've used before have been very helpful/friendly, and they're not just limited to London (although obviously a lot of candidates coming to the UK want to work in London)

www.kiwioznannies.co.uk
www.oneworldnannies.com.

are you in canary wharf by any chance? need to find someone to have coffee and whinge about the hardships of parenthood with - all my friends here are single and either work or drink until 2am on a regular basis.

Thanks for the thumbs-up, Eleusis - I've already registered there and have had a few responses.... hopefully I will have some time to spend sorting things out this weekend. The jacuzzi, by the way, is always open-house to MNers passing through

Legalion - am in city but my DH is in canary wharf so I pass through there all the time. name a time and place and we can moan together... I always seem to find the 'city meet-up' threads a week after they've taken place, so am in same boat, I know loads of people who are single, but few like me (the fogey type with bleary eyes who consider 'zantac' to be the preferred social drug of choice)...

sorry legalalien - deep shame on getting the name wrong. Just call me squinteyes.

think I might make it LegalLion....

will put thinking cap on re time, place - no longer in private practice so there's at least SOME chance of a lunch or coffee at some point!

i wouldnt pay her her notice, say she is in breach of contract as she gave you NO warning, bet you cant wait for when she needs a reference!

Good point Pinkchick. I wouldn't pay it either.

Jacuzzi and gym??? I think i might leave my DS, DP and come and live with you!! Only a stone's throw from Medway, where i live!

Jura - can I ask MiFID questions? (just read your profile). Will do that CAT thing once I figure out what it is.

Well it's Sunday Mornin'

And the sun in shinin'

In my eye that is open

And my head is spinnin'

Was the life of the party

I can't stop grinnin'

I had to much Tequila last night

CHORUS

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

I like to drink you with a little salt and lime

Did I kiss all the cowboys?

Did I shoot out the lights?

Did I dance on the bar?

Did I start a fight?

Now wait a minute

Things don't look to familiar

Who is this cowboy

Who's sleepin' beside me?

He's awful cute, but how'd I

Get his shirt on?

I had to much Tequila last night

CHORUS

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

I like to drink you with a little salt and lime

Did I kiss all the cowboys?

Did I shoot out the lights?

Did I dance on the bar?

Did I start a fight?

BREAK

BRIDGE

All those little shooters

How I love to drink 'em down

Come on bartender

Let's have another round [Modulates]

Well the music is playing

And my spirits are high

Tomorrow might be painful

But tonight we're gonna fly

CHORUS

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

I like to drink you with a little salt and lime

Every time we get together

I sure have a good time

You're my friend

You're the best

Mi amigo

(Tequila)

CHORUS

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

I like to drink you with a little salt and lime

Did I kiss all the cowboys?

Did I shoot out the lights?

Did I dance on the bar?

Did I start a fight?

TAG

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

Oh damn! Wrong thread.
See current Christmas Meet up thread if you want to now where that was supposed to go.