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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Au pair prefers to talk to daddy -is it normal?

7 replies

Tia32 · 12/07/2019 23:08

I am very angry and upset, my au pair doesn’t come to me to tell me about my children, she prefers to talk to my husband. Today I asked her why she is talking to my husband and not to me first and her answer was that I am rude with her.
Because I don’t know how to talk to her, I never told her anything bad, I never swore at her,
I have two children (b 6&g3) and I am upset seeing sometimes that he takes her side, whether with the children meals that she is not respecting and playing times etc.
The only times when I told her something was when she let my son watching horror Chanel while she was sleeping in her room, yes horror films and the other day I caught my daughter playing with cigaret lighter, and she was denying.
I have numerous arguments with my husband because of this, and I do not feel is right what she is doing. I used to work as an aupair and as a nanny long time ago, but I always discussed things with the mother not father.
He is more flexible with her, and sometimes I feel he takes her side. She is been with us only for two months, but when I ask her things about children she says everything was okay, and tell him what they did not to me, but when is about reading for children she refuses to read for my son saying some words are difficult for her. But she reads her own book in English, she rarely plays with toys with my daughter when my son is at school.
Please can anyone give me some advise, as I am really upset and really do not know how to deal with it.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes and for the long story, but I am very upset. Thank you so much for reading the long post.

OP posts:
Speakercube · 12/07/2019 23:15

Replace her asap. If possible look after them yourself until u get someone else. She's a cf. You're her boss and she's taking the piss. This is obvs causing a strain in yr relationship with yr husband. I'm annoyed for you. Show her whose boss by showing her the door! Job done. (or not in her caseGrin)

Rachelover40 · 12/07/2019 23:17

I think you should get rid of her and find someone better.

Pipandmum · 12/07/2019 23:19

Fire her and get someone else! Kids playing with a lighter? Sleeping when she should be minding the kids? What are you waiting for?

Tia32 · 13/07/2019 07:21

Thank you ladies, I wanted to fire her, but my husband is the one with second chances, and we both work full time; thank you for your answers.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 13/07/2019 07:26

You have a DH problem that’s bigger then your AP problem, but if you’re willing to live ike that, that could be a cultural thing?!

Nautiloid · 13/07/2019 07:28

She sounds like a terrible au pair. A lighter FFS? I'd replace her.

I'm also concerned that your DH is sticking up for this, but that's a separate issue.

Whenwhowhat · 13/07/2019 08:41

Firstly leaving a 6 year old watching a horror channel whilst the minder is upstairs having a nap is surely something she should have been sacked on the spot for! It's neglect!
Secondly why the hell is your husband sticking up for the au pair who is neglecting his children? That is so odd it's almost unbelievable.
Jeez along with the other stuff how you've not fired her already I don't know.

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