Male au-pair

[AdaHopper]

I am looking for our next au-pair as our current one is leaving after 2 years :'(

I have worked with au-pairs on and off for about 8 years but they have always been women.

My DH is now away with work 90% of the time and my son would really like a male au-pair.

My rational mind says: good idea - it really shouldn't matter if the au-pair is a man or a woman, as long as they are doing what they need to and are kind with the kids.

The irrational part of me is still reluctant though (and it feels totally wrong, sexist and against my values). So - who can share their positive stories so I can be more open-minded?

Also - are there differences in approach in looking for a male au-pair?

We've had two male au pairs, both with prior experience and host references, and it's been fine. I'm looking at the moment and TBH it looks like being a guy again this time.

First: Spanish, gay, not too bright, didn't have much in common with him but he was reliable. He ate a lot, which is something people warned me about with male au pairs!

Current: French, very smart, we like him quite a lot. Initially I was was a bit worried as he seemed to have a bit of a ... BO problem to be frank. But I thought/hoped it might be a bit because he'd just come from au pairing in a quite small flat and maybe hadn't been able to wash and dry his clothes properly, and I may have been right as the problem seems to have gone now! Doesn't particularly eat a lot. Very good relationship with my son (7), jokes and plays with him really nicely.

Approach when looking is about the same. If you're a bit unsure about a male AP, perhaps go for one who has au paired before and has solid references.

I'd say advantages of them is they are perhaps less likely to get homesick than girls, and more likely to stick with it. Disadvantages is they may eat a lot more!

Fo

I had a male au pair, he was from Hungary. He was fantastic. My son is an adult now and went to visit him and his wife in their home town recently - that's how well they got on. I was a single parent and felt my son needed a male role model. Issues were very, very few and far between, and mostly stemmed from him being assertive and me not being used to that! He was a lovely and respectful person and I can't quite believe I got so lucky. (He was the only person I interviewed for the job.) He did eat more than I expected! but we resolved that by adding a food allowance to his pay instead of me getting what I thought he would eat. I would recommend it wholeheartedly, I had a really good experience.

Thank you all.

I also have 2 dd's. The eldest will be 12. At the moment boys are not very interesting to her yet.
But I remember how quickly that can change.... am I silly to be worried about a potential, though pretty unlikely, crush?

TBF, quite a lot of them are gay!