Au pair newbie, lots of questions!!!

[helpneededprettyplease]

My military husband dropped on me last week, after moving to fairly rural place 500 miles away from family for some family time, that he is likely to deploy next year (3-5 months) as you can guess it wasn’t on our radar and it’s thrown me quite a bit!

I love where we live but I have 3 children, which at the time of deployment are likely to be in three different schools, 2 ponies, a dog and a cat! (minimum effort needed for the last one) and we are already like passing ships in the night with various clubs, hobby’s, sports and generally taxiing about!

I’m also just about to start a new job and had been relying on my husbands well deserved down/shore time for wrap around for the children.

To add the cherry to the cake I also don’t drive!

My husband is very of the mind it’s a very short term inconvenience and we will just need to get our heads down and get through it. I really wish I could see things so black and white but my anxiety level is already at high alert and although I’m no snowflake have already had a few tears at the thought.

It came to me today that a possibility might be an Au Pair and in fact an ideal answer to a very stressful situation but having never had one before I’m not really sure how to start and I have a lot of questions...

Can I employ an Au Pair for a short term time, round about 4 months.

How likely are they to drive and if so do we need to provide a car, am I being naive to think I might find someone already in the UK that has a car? (This would be beneficial for them as well as we are quite rural)

What’s the going rate for wages?

How much can I ask/expect them to take on without scaring them off, what does your Au Pair do in a week day, Ideally I would like club runs, the occasional dinner made, child care after and possibly before school and a bit of light cleaning, is this too much?

How niche can I go in my search for example is there a way to find someone that has experience with horses? I often seen Nanny adverts round here which include farm work/ a love for animals/equestrian is there a way to find an Au pair who would do/enjoy similar.

Also any help how to get started, what to look for, which sites to use and any other positive stories would be much appreciated!!

My three girls are lovely and my youngest is now 8 so not babies by any means, we also love cooking, watching films, days out, horse events which any one joining our family would be very welcome to join in with I’m really hoping this could be a good solution to what has felt like quite a terrifying time.

Au pairs generally aren't from the UK, so yes you'd need to provide a car and the insurance for it. If you want them to drive you need someone over 22, who has been driving for at least 3 years to make the premiums affordable - although it does depend on the car. Obviously smaller cars have lower premiums and some higher performance cars won't allow for those under 25.

The generally do 25ish hours plus a bit of babysitting. This can include light housework too. So your needs are fine. Many au pairs prefer to stay for shorter time periods, so 4 months is fine. Pocket money is around £100/week and you pay full board and lodgings on top of this.

You basically advertise on au pair world for the person you would like. Au pair hosting works best when you're really clear about the person you want and some au pairs would love three older children, dogs, cats, horses and some won't.

You need to ask for a police check, reference and driving licence from your potential new a pair. I also ask for disclosure of any medical conditions and previous driving convictions.

There is an au pair that does multiple horses at our stables plus drives the dc (in their teens) to and from school/stables/activities. She seems very happy.

So not impossible to find at all. Sorry I can't help with how to find one and all the legal stuff.

How old are your children and how many hours do you actually need? It might be cheaper to learn to drive yourself, than try to find an AP who is a competent driver (usually on the other side of the road) and insurable plus buying a car.