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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

How to resign gracefully from a nanny position when the parents aren't expecting it?

9 replies

throwaway2019 · 16/05/2019 10:46

I lost my job in December and took a part-time job as a nanny with a family down the road from me whilst I was rethinking my career aspirations. During the interview, I tried to explain that I would probably be looking to go back to full-time work as soon as I'd worked out what I wanted to do. The mum didn't seem pleased about this and said I'd need to work for them for at least 2 years. However, when the contract came through there was no stipulation of how long I'd need to work for them so I accepted the position.

The job has not at all been what I expected. They have two children aged 9 and 17 so I often feel like I don't need to even be there. I spend most of my time cleaning (buffing sofas, cleaning the fridge, ironing) and not with the child! Furthermore, although the pay is consistently the same, the hours vary wildly meaning that I am at their beck and call constantly.

I have been accepted a full-time job in the position which aligns with my career goals and need to let the family know. I am planning to give them 4 weeks notice (instead of the 1 week in the contract) as I know they are incredibly busy people and am going to hand in a resignation letter. Obviously, I'm anxious that the mum will be incredibly angry.

How do I break the news without completely upsetting the mum (who thinks I'm there for years when I've only been there for 4/5 months)? How do I make those 4 weeks bearable in case the relationship goes south? Can they withhold pay? Do I break the news to the child and, if so, how?

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HappyHammy · 16/05/2019 10:52

Just tell them you have found another job, you dont need to go into great detail
Ask them how much notice they would like, one week or your be happy to stay a bit longer if they need time to find a replacement. Dont worry about them too much.

Eatsleepsingrepeat · 16/05/2019 10:55

Not your problem! It's very kind of you to be so concerned about them. The teenager is old enough to understand (and to look after the 9 year old, frankly!) and the 9 year old should be, too. Much better for the kids to see you going for something that will take you further than housekeeping!
You sound lovely and I'm sure you will deal with their issues in the best way you can. You're not doing anything wrong, at all. If they're unhappy about it and take it out on you, they are being out of order.
Congratulations on your new job, and good luck!

Bobbybobbins · 16/05/2019 11:01

I would go ahead with your plan to give 4 weeks notice which is very fair of you. If there is any negative response then just respond that you are fully following the terms of the contract, which you are!

minou123 · 16/05/2019 11:28

I'm not 100% sure of this, but I think you can not 'demand' someone works for you for x amount of years. This may be why it is not in the contract. Even if it was in the contract, I'm sure legally they couldn't hold you to it. No one can force someone to work for them , even paid work - it reminds me of indentured servitude.

You can not control how they will react, they may be really upset and make things awkward, but this is not your problem. You are being really kind thinking of them. Good luck in your new job

HappyHammy · 16/05/2019 11:38

If she gets angry then work 1 week notice, if they are kind and supportive offer to stay on a bit if you want to but it works 2 ways, , supposing they find a replacement during your notice, will they be nice to you.

throwaway2019 · 16/05/2019 11:44

It doesn't help that the company I want to work for won't give me a start date until they can confirm with the family that I have actually been working there (as I'm a sole trader).

I'm worried (possibly stupidly) that they might try to sabotage that so I end up having to stay.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 21/05/2019 21:09

I would give one week just as contract stipulates

mathanxiety · 21/05/2019 21:20

They can't make you stay. Even if they sabotaged your job offer you could still just leave.

Do you have pay slips or copies of cheques? NI contribution records?

Tell them you have a job offer and thank them for being great employers. Compliment their lovely children. Offer them up to four weeks notice. They can tell the 9 year old themselves.

(Curious about the two years thing. Wouldn't the older child be 19 by then if you actually stayed two years?)

thisisacrazyidea · 21/05/2019 21:28

as I’m a sole trader......do you mean that they employ you on a self employed basis? That’s not legal for nanny employment. As for the rest, yes, they will be annoyed (we’ve had nannies and I’d have been inwardly furious if someone had done that to us), but hopefully they can be professional enough to smile and wish you well.

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