Car seat safety (and other safety concerns)

[FiveYearsOlder]

My daughter would kick off massively if I picked her up and I couldn't even get her in the car seat despite many tricks. If I did she managed to do a Houdini and escape.

(My concerns on WTF to do when you can't reason with a 22 month old is for another time...)

Anyway, they offered to drop her off. I gratefully accepted but said I wanted her extended rear facing and even bought them a car seat that can be taken in and out.

They also do pre-school drop offs and so the car seat can't always stay in. They said they were fine with taking it in and out.

Anyway, her partner (who does the school runs) once said, "Oh the car seat doesn't fit in the minibus as there's no IsoFix". However, it dawned on me after that he'd changed his minibus a week before. I therefore messaged to say I would pick her up going forwards. However, it turns out there is an IsoFix (Googled the model), so obviously too much hassle (understandable but just tell me).

I then discovered that she'd been to a farm on the half-term break, despite me having said about my ERF concerns. They didn't hide it. It was in BabyDays, so maybe they didn't think about it.

My daughter than started her Houdini tricks in the morning too. We decided the risk was less of they picked her up too, as she's writhing that badly her neck would probably be cut the second we set off

She does the same in the pram.

Today I noticed that the car seat she was in didn't even have the head protection in the right place e. If she'd be in an accident she may as well be in a seatbelt.

I could raise this and offer to fit another car seat that can also turn for the older kids

However, my other big concern is the lies/not keeping me informed of that trip and general ignorance towards safety issues. I've spoken to another parent who said they see the gate unlocked sometimes. I also caught her out once on a nap issue - her partner let slip she'd not slept but BabyDays was updated with her sleep time.

There's a massive waiting period for childminders and nurseries (one that is walkable has availability but there is limited outdoor space). My preferred choice by a long shot doesn't have availability until July.

I therefore need a solution for the meantime.

I can tell she genuinely cares for her and even her partner said she is smitten. Her daughter has taken a real shine to her too.

However, I worry that even if I miraculously managed to get her to go in the car seat for us (or walk/go in the pram 25 mins and still get to work or home) then she may take her out without telling me.

Any advice on what you would do? I obviously intend to have a serious chat but they're under no obligation with the lifts. They are though on day trips. She could just tell me what I want to hear but I've got no real viable option unless I uproot my daughter twice (and she's very sensitive).

Ah I see, thanks

I'd risk assess the situation. ERF is great and I'm very pro ERF but if she's escaping then surely it's safer to have her forward facing?

Refocus your demands on your CM. Ask them to teach you how to get the child in her carseat - you can do this. What would you do if they stopped dropping off - give up work? Because a nursery will not do this for you. The headrest thing I think can be addressed through a conversation rather than removing your child.

If you feel she is genuinely unsafe then you need to remove her but you do seem to have a very stringent list of requirements for keeping her safe, and the CM is already doing a lot of it. I'm not sure it's a list that anyone can ever meet, including you yourself if you are not able to put her in her carseat. Ultimately a nanny, or giving up work, may be your only options, because no CM or nursery will be able to jump through all the hoops you set. Does a gate really need a lock to keep a one year old safe? I never locked our garden gate and none of our CMs or our nursery locked theirs. Sorry if this is harsh, there's a lot to pick through.

I’ve read through this several times, in search of the multiple safety hazards implied in the title. I can see three issues...... possibly.

1. Positioning of the head protection in the car seat being used by the CM. You are fully entitled to take this up with the CM. Do it politely and don’t go in all guns blazing. It’s going to seem a little incongruous, to say the least, if you start lecturing them on car seat safety considering the circumstances.

The issue of ERF seats in this context is not a safety issue. It is your personal preference. The CM is required to transport the child safely, and within the terms of her insurance policy. That’s all.

1. "...another parent who said they see the gate unlocked sometimes..." As explained by a PP, this may not necessarily be a required safety measure; it will depend on the situation and overall risk assessment for the premises. Even if it is required in this case, you don’t know that it isn’t locked. All you know is that another parent gossips. Ask your CM about it, but don’t expect her to be impressed at your predilection for believing hearsay without any evidence.

1. "Lies." Well........er......... what lies? Your apparent basis for calling her a liar is that you "caught her out once" over information regarding naps. THey entered incorrect information on Babydays, that’s all. No big deal and well within the bounds of human error. There’s a big difference between a lie and a simple mistake. Anyone reading this can see from "I caught her out once" that you are heavily predisposed to finding fault: looking for it, even. As for the outing, well they didn’t inform you of a trip they didn’t have to inform you of (except they did inform you, because they informed you through Babydays!)

I’m at a complete loss to see how any of this justifies being called "lies.... and general ignorance towards safety issues."

You can’t get dd into a read facing seat but cm Can get into a ff seat

Cm are se so they get to decide the car seats that go in their car

Far better to have in a ff one then escaping a rear

Cm will go out to places.

Tbh sounds like a nursery is your best bet. Once you tackle the car seat issue unless walk there

Just speak to your CM if you have concerns about the car seat she is using. Although it sounds like you just prefer your car seat.

Everything else is a non issue. If you don't want your child going out in the car you are probably better off moving her to a nursery but even at nursery they are likely to have trips out every now and then.